


Stages

by peanutbutterandchelly



Series: Stages [1]
Category: Midnight Poppy Land (Webcomic)
Genre: All the World's a Stage, Consensual Sex, F/M, First Impressions, First Time, Fluff, Honesty, Loss of Virginity, Opening Up, Oral Sex, Romance, Sex, Smut, Stages of Relationships, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 18:54:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 68,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25730167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peanutbutterandchelly/pseuds/peanutbutterandchelly
Summary: An AU in which Poppy and Tora are pulled together by fate, in spite of the existence of the notebook.
Relationships: Tora/Poppy, Tora/Poppy Wilkes
Series: Stages [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1961800
Comments: 311
Kudos: 465





	1. Exits and Entrances

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 of ???
> 
> Hello, I'm back! I can't seem to pull myself away from writing about these two. I graduated college with an English degree and a minor in creative writing, but I haven't been this inspired to write in YEARS. A huge shout out goes to Lilydusk and MPL fanfic writers Mediumdinosaur and TheCurvedWritingDesk for reigniting that flame. Their creativity and storytelling knows no bounds.
> 
> This fic is loosely based on a first meeting I had with an ex at a house party. It wasn't quite as racy as what I've written for our favorite couple, but it was funny and breathtaking and left quite the impact on me. 
> 
> I'm not sure how long this fic will end up being or where it will inevitably end, but I hope you enjoy the ride :)
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

"All the world’s a stage,  
And all the men and women merely players;  
They have their exits and their entrances;  
And one man in his time plays many parts."  
-William Shakespeare, _As You Like It_

\---

Poppy stood outside of the luxurious apartment building, shivering in the brisk September air. She clutched a six pack of wine coolers to her chest and debated with Erdene about whether or not she should go inside, where Quincey’s house party was in full swing.

She knew without a doubt that his friend Kane would be in attendance; since she had become Quincey’s primary editor, she’d met a number of people in his inner circle, but none that had captured her attention quite like _he_ did. 

He had wavy brown hair, dark eyes, a _gorgeous_ body and a tattoo on his neck. He seemed a little rough around the edges and Poppy liked that; it was exciting and a nice change from her ex Julri, who had been clean cut and so... _typical_ looking. 

The only problem was, Kane rarely acknowledged her existence. His nose was always in his phone or he was too busy playing video games to hold a conversation when she tried to talk to him. 

“I always embarrass myself in front of him,” Poppy said as she took one step back. “Tonight is only going to make it worse.” 

“Well, if you walk in there with that attitude, that’s exactly what’s going to happen,” Erdene argued. She clutched her elbow and pulled her up the concrete steps. Poppy paused on the one below her. “You’re a great girl, Pops. You’re smart, funny and you’re _beautiful_ when you’re not wallowing in self-pity,” she said and laughed as she dodged Poppy’s attempt to deliver a swift kick to her shin. “All jokes aside,” she continued, her voice low, “one day, he’ll see you for who you are.”

Poppy stepped up and joined Erdene on the top stair. “You think so?”

“I do.”

“And if he doesn’t?” 

“Then you’ll find someone who’s had his eyes open the whole time,” Erdene said and pressed the intercom button for Quincey’s apartment.

\---

Kane didn’t speak to her. 

The entire time everyone else chatted in the living room, she held her breath as she waited for him to offer a hello or even a brief nod in her general direction. _Anything_ that made her feel rooted to the ground, so the bubble of rejection that was swelling behind her ribs wouldn’t send her floating away. 

She pulled her arms tighter across her chest, pressing the lids of the wine coolers into her skin. Maybe their sharp edges would dig into her until they popped that godforsaken bubble. Maybe it would make a loud enough sound when it burst that Kane would look up to see her standing there. 

A slender woman with glossy blonde hair held Kane’s attention instead and as he began laughing at something she’d said, Poppy allowed her heavy feet to take her into the dimly lit kitchen, where she thought she was alone. She slammed her wine coolers down on the counter and attempted to twist one open. She didn’t even realize the lid was cutting a jagged line into the span of her palm until a husky voice spoke out from behind her.

“Don’t think those are twist-offs.”

Startled, she spun around. Standing there was a giant of a man with amber colored eyes and inky black hair piled into a half bun on his head. On the side of his thick neck was the same tattoo she’d spotted on Kane when they first met.

If she had encountered this brute anywhere other than Quincey’s kitchen, she might have been intimidated or panicked. But he was leaning casually against the counter opposite her, studying her with bemused eyes and cradling a glass of what looked like chocolate milk against his broad chest. Telling Poppy her business. 

_Just who did this guy think he was?_

She blew a piece of hair out of her eyes. “Coming from the guy who poured himself a glass of Yoo-Hoo and forgot his crazy straw to drink it with?” she huffed. “What makes you think they’re not twist-offs?” She could hear the silent, challenging question that was layered beneath the ones she chose to ask out loud. 

_What makes you think I can’t handle this?_

“Well, for one, with the way ya’ve been wrestlin’ with it, you woulda had it off by now. And two, ya wouldn’t be bleedin’ all over the counter top.” 

Poppy glanced back at the counter and sure enough, drops of her blood were collecting in a small, red pool at the base of the bottle. “Oh, God,” she moaned and grabbed at the spool of paper towels and dish soap beside the sink. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled as she wiped up the mess. She hoped enough blood would pour from her hand so it wouldn’t fill her face in embarrassment. 

“No need to apologize ta me. S’not my counter.” He set his milk down and took the wine cooler from her hand. “Band-Aids are in that cabinet there. Ya need help getting yerself cleaned up?” he asked as he tried to inspect her injured palm. 

“NO!” she cried out, balling her fist into her chest. The last thing she was going to do was further drag out her humiliation. “I mean, no thank you. I can do it.” 

He nodded after a moment and then using the edge of the counter top, he snapped the lid off the bottle in one brisk motion. He placed it into her good hand. “Here. Ya seem like you need this.” 

“Thank you,” she said as he picked up his own drink and moved to step out of the room. 

Her words hit him in the shoulder blades. He stiffened and slowly turned, offering her a smile that reached up to his eyes. _Were those dimples?_

“White Russian,” he said. 

“Huh?” 

He gently shook the glass in his hand so its contents swirled inside. “My drink. It’s a white Russian, but I made it with chocolate milk instead. I’m trying somethin’ new.” 

Then she was alone. 

\--- 

Later that night, after people had gravitated into the kitchen and her head was pleasantly swimming with a fruity buzz, Poppy saw the man again. She was laughing with Erdene about the bizarre new mustache Kane had been sporting for the last couple of weeks when she looked to her left and there he was, his golden eyes watching her over the rim of his glass. 

She wasn’t sure if it was the heat of the alcohol swimming in her veins or the intensity with which he was studying her, but before she could stop herself, she met his gaze and smiled. When he blinked and made a step toward her, she glanced down at the counter top and skimmed it for microscopic traces of her blood. 

Seconds passed and then he was standing in front of her, blocking her view of her friend. He took up the entire kitchen. “Ya know, it shouldn’t be that easy fer a guy to get yer attention,” he murmured. He was so close she could feel the warmth of his breath against her cheek. 

He was so… _sure_ of himself. Whether it sprouted from jealousy of his straightforwardness or the fact that she allowed him to get under her skin, she didn’t know. She didn’t care. Poppy looked directly into his eyes and said, “Don’t flatter yourself. You had my attention for a few seconds and you lost it. The only way I would be interested in talking to you now is if…” 

She paused as she drank in the sight of his broad chest and the colorful tattoos that snaked down his arms, partially covered by the sleeves of his green shirt. Her eyes returned to his and she giggled as an idea surfaced in her drunken mind. “… is if you show me the rest of your tattoos.” 

She anticipated him to toss some cocky or obscene comment back at her or to walk away. She never planned on the third outcome. 

His eyebrows flitted skyward and the corners of his mouth turned up in a smirk. Never breaking eye contact, he reached one arm behind her to set his glass on the counter. The next thing she knew, he’d pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it to the floor, exposing every lined detail of his ink and every rippled muscle. 

She couldn’t help herself; her eyes raked over his upper body, from the tops of his wide shoulders to the taper of his hips. She instantly found herself wondering what it would feel like to have him pressed against her, to be writhing under him… 

The sounds of catcalls and whistles pulled her from her thoughts. Out of the corner of her eye, Poppy saw a drunk Quincey toss a crumpled up dollar bill at him. “Take it off, tiger!” he shrieked. 

The man ignored the crowd of people who had gathered. He leaned in so close that she could feel heat radiating off him, even through the thick sweater she wore. “I have more,” he rasped out next to her ear, “but I’m not gonna show ya here. Wanna head to my place?” 

Poppy’s eyes widened. Her hands trembled at her sides and something stirred deep in her belly. 

_Why was she so ready to say yes?_

“Um, I- uh, I’m good,” she sputtered, averting her gaze from the half naked man in front of her. 

He smirked again and let out a low, breathy laugh. “Sure ya are,” he said as he stooped down to pick up his shirt. “Let me know if ya change yer mind.” He pulled the long-sleeved tee over his head and tugged it down. “Name’s Tora.” He reached out and coiled his fingers around her arm, then slid his hand down until it was holding hers. 

She sucked her breath in between her teeth and gaped at him. 

_Was this guy for real?_

“Um, I’m Poppy,” she squeaked and yanked her hand from his grasp as though he’d burned her. 

He leaned around her to retrieve his drink and she gasped as his chest brushed against her shoulder. “See ya later… Bobby,” he smiled and pushed his way through the crowd and out of her view. 

_Bobby?_

As soon as Tora left, Erdene rushed to her side. “Oh my god, Pops, are you okay? Do you feel faint? I can grab you a chair,” she said. 

Poppy furrowed her brows and released the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “What? Faint? I’m fine, Dene,” she replied, trying to ignore the violent thumping of her heart. 

Erdene narrowed her eyes at her. “Girl, I’d believe you if your cheeks weren’t red as sin. That was the hottest thing I’ve _ever_ seen. Please tell me you’re going to get his number. I wonder who he is, anyway. We’ve been working with Quincey for months now and I thought we’d met all of his friends. I wonder if that guy has a brother…” She flipped her blue and purple hair over her shoulder. 

“Oh, please,” Poppy huffed, ignoring the last of her friend’s rambling. “He was just messing with me. You know how it goes, 'let's pick on the shortest girl in the room.'” 

“Um, he’d like to do more than mess with you, Poppylan. You should go for it. Kane is a twig compared to that dude. He’s the whole frickin’ tree and if you don’t climb him like one, I’ll never forgive you,” Erdene said, wagging her finger in front of Poppy’s face. 

She laughed and swatted at Erdene's hand. “It’s not gonna happen, so can we please just drop it?” 

“ _Fine_. All I’m going to say is that man’s eyes are wide open. You’re going to change your mind, you’ll see.” 

\--- 

Poppy was going to do everything she could to avoid him for the rest of the night.

She stuck closely beside Erdene as they sat on the floor in the corner of the living room. Her ears prickled whenever she heard Tora’s husky, rumbling voice and every time he spotted her watching him, he’d smirk, meet her eyes and dramatically roll up his sleeves, baring his tattoos to her. 

She needed something to pull her mind from the fact that Kane was sitting a mere three feet from her in a recliner, but he was so far away, he might as well have been at a different party. She needed distraction, absolution, relief. She did not need Tora to help occupy her mind.

The last thing she needed was to need Tora.

A man with turquoise streaks in his hair was perched in front of the coffee table, shaking a bag of stones with strange markings on them. He claimed they were sea stone runes and he could answer everyone’s internal questions by reading them. Erdene urged Poppy to have hers read and when the boy dropped the satchel of rocks in her hands, they were not as heavy as she expected. She shook them as she was instructed, until she felt that her mental question had beaded like sweat and rolled down her neck, her arms and been spilled into the bag. 

_Will he ever notice me?_

The blue-haired man took the sack from her and scattered the rocks across the table. He paused for a moment, his eyes flickering back and forth over the carved faces of the stones and then he looked at her. “This is something you’ve been wanting for a very long time. It may not be moving in the direction you’d like but have trust in the path the universe has carved out for you. Things will work out the way they’re supposed to.” 

Poppy hadn’t realized that while the man with the blue hair had been spilling her secret thoughts across the table, Kane had pushed himself out of the recliner and crossed the room into the kitchen. The moment she noticed he was gone was the same moment Tora slid into his seat. 

\--- 

Tora had her phone. 

She wasn’t sure how he had gotten a hold of it; the last time she had seen the sparkly pink device, it had been in her pocket. She shivered as she wondered if she allowed him to get close enough to slip it from her jeans. Poppy watched his fingers fluttering over the keypad and asked him what he thought he was doing. 

“Puttin’ the ball in your court,” he replied. 

\--- 

Poppy couldn’t find him. 

In her fuddled state, she couldn’t quite remember why she was looking for Tora. Maybe she wanted him to touch her again or maybe she had a funny feeling that along with her phone, he had also slipped a twenty dollar bill from her pocket. Either way, when she had searched the rooms of the apartment three times and he wasn’t there, she began to panic. He had been drinking; surely he hadn’t left in his car. _Hopefully_ he wouldn’t do that to her. Drive while intoxicated. Leave without saying goodbye. 

As she turned to check the parking lot, one of Kane’s drunk friends accidentally knocked into her as he rounded the corner of the kitchen. Her phone bounced from its place in her pocket and onto the floor. It lit up. As she grasped it in her hand, she began to scroll through her contacts, searching for his name. It was there, under “Tiger.” She smiled and opened a new text message. 

_This is Poppy. You didn’t drive, did you?_

He responded almost immediately. 

_no I’m walking around the apartment complex. Quincey is feeling sick and I figured the cold air would do him some good._

Another text. 

_you okay to drive home?_

_Not at all, so we’re taking a cab,_ she typed back. She thought for a moment, then smiled as she decided to lob a ball in his direction. 

_I’m glad you’re okay. I was worried._

A minute passed and then her phone chirped. She stabbed anxiously at the screen. 

_with me, you never have to._


	2. And So I Come

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ********** SPOILERS********** 
> 
> Though it doesn't really give anything away regarding the plot, there are references to fast pass episodes in this chapter. To non fast passers, proceed if you wish :) 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Apologies that it's on the shorter side; I'll be making up for that with the next update :) 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

"I'll tell ya  
When day is through  
I will come to you  
And tell you of your many charms"  
-Van Morrison, "I'll Be Your Lover, Too"

\---

The next day, Sunday, Poppy was wandering aimlessly through the stands of an outdoor craft show in Moonbright with her friends Danae and Mirabelle. They passed row after row of unique, handmade products: headbands made with real alpaca wool, earrings made of brass and clay and fringed scarves that had been t-shirts in their past lives. When they had done enough shopping, they collapsed on a log in front of a stage, where a young man was perched on a stool playing Van Morrison's “I'll Be Your Lover, Too” on an acoustic guitar.

The girls hummed along and then Danae turned her attention to Poppy. "Speaking of looooooovers," she crooned as she twisted a strand of Poppy's hair around her finger. "Pops, fill us in. _Puh-lease_ tell me you finally met someone in the city. Or at the very least you're getting laid." 

At the other end of the log, Mirabelle leaned back just enough to peer around Danae and make eye contact with Poppy. She raised an eyebrow at her before taking a giant bite out of her caramel apple. 

"Bells, that caramel apple looks amazing. I want one. What booth did you find it at?" Poppy asked hurriedly as she pushed herself from her seat.

Danae grabbed hold of her arm and yanked her back down. "Uh uh, Poppylan, you're not deflecting your way out of this one. C'mon, it's been months since you broke up with that cheating jerkwad. And you know what they say, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone _else_."

Poppy felt heat rising from her neck to the tips of her ears as Tora's face flitted through her mind. "I don't know what to tell you, Danae. I-"

"Honey, you've _got_ to put yourself back out there. Honestly, the whole thing with Julri was a blessing in disguise. And from what you’ve told us about Kane, it sounds like he’s not worthy of your time. You're free to do whatever you want. _Whoever_ you want! Here’s what I think you should…”

Poppy sighed inwardly as Danae rambled on about creating online dating profiles and _what was she going to do, be single and miserable forever?_ She'd heard this lecture several times, had swallowed their unsolicited advice over the past couple of months and frankly, she was tired of it. 

She loved Danae and Mirabelle; they were her best friends from childhood. They had always been incredibly loyal and supportive, especially when Poppy decided to branch out and move to Narin City. But sometimes she thought that maybe they placed a little _too_ much value on having relationships with men, to the point where they thought the joys in life couldn't exist without them.

She knew they just wanted her to be happy, but the word held a different definition for Poppy. Happy was curling up with a mug of hot tea and a good book at the end of a long day. It was video calls with her Granny that always left her in tears from laughing so hard. It was opening her balcony door on a rainy night, eating muffins from her favorite bakery in the city, painting canvases on her rooftop. 

And if a man just _happened_ to be there to soak in those happy little moments with her, then so be it. His presence, while it would be appreciated, was not crucial. 

Even her crush on Kane was not something she had forced or actively pursued. She’d been attracted to him and it just _was._

Poppy attempted to make this clear to Danae and Mirabelle multiple times, but they never listened. Instead, they were convinced she was a lonely old maid and desperately tried to set her up on dates. She never called the numbers of the men they punched into her phone and she wasn't about to start now. 

When she finally tuned back into Danae's speech, she was asking for Poppy's phone. "I know this guy who works for the paper here in town. Super cute, funny and his divorce should be final any day now. His name is Ren. Here, I'll add him to your contacts. _Promise_ me you'll call him," she said, gesturing for Poppy's cell. 

"No, I'm not going to call him or any other guy you try to set me up with," Poppy retorted. 

Danae's eyes went wide and she lowered her hand, defeated. "Poppy, I'm only trying to _help_ you..."

"Well, I don't need any of your help because I met someone and we're dating and it's getting kind of serious!" Poppy spit out defensively, her chest huffing. 

Twin Cheshire smiles crept across the faces of her blonde friends. "Oh my god," Mirabelle squealed. "Why didn't you tell us? What's his name? What's he look like?"

Danae clapped elatedly. "Pops, I'm so proud of you! Get him, girl. Come on, pull up his profile so we can ogle him." She handed Poppy her phone.

_Fudge biscuits. Of all things to say, why did it have to be that?_

She thought back to earlier that morning when she'd searched for Tora's profile online. He was not on Quincey's friend list and there were no pictures of him on his page. It was like he didn't exist, which was exactly what her friends would believe. 

"Oh, um, he's not on social media," Poppy said lamely as she shrank in on herself. "He's kind of a private person."

Danae narrowed her eyes. " _Really?_ Who isn't on social media nowadays? What kind of primitive, mystery man are you dating?" 

Mirabelle leaned in close, meeting Poppy's eyes over Danae's shoulder. "Pops, honey, is he even real?"

Anger spread through Poppy like a wildfire. How dare they imply that she wasn't capable of meeting someone on her own, without their help? Tora definitely existed and he'd wanted to have sex with her just last night! She wasn't about to tell them that though, so she tried a different angle. Anything to keep them off her back.

"You really need me to prove it to you?" she asked. "What do you want, a hair sample, his social security number? What?"

Danae pointed at Poppy's cell phone. "Simple. Call him." 

Poppy's eyes widened. "C-call him?" she squeaked. 

"Yes. He might not be on social media, but he _has_ to have a phone, right?" Danae asked slyly. 

"Oh, I uh, of course he does, but-"

"She's lyyyyyying," Mirabelle chimed out.

Poppy could feel her hands balling into fists at her sides. "I'm not lying!"

"Okay, then prove it. Call this caveman of yours or I'll tell Ren _he_ should be expecting your call," Danae said. 

"Ugh, _fine,_ " Poppy huffed and picked up her phone. With a shaking hand, she scrolled through her contacts until she hit the T's. She highlighted "Tiger" with her finger and hesitated a moment before finally pressing _call_. 

Poppy's heart raced as she lifted the phone to her ear, every passing _ring_ another nail in this stupid coffin she'd found herself in. Between Tora and her two friends, she knew at least one of them would not let her live this down.

He picked up on the fourth ring. "Hey, Bobby."

Hearing his husky voice again made Poppy tingle all over. And even more was the fact that he had clearly saved her number in his phone after she texted him the night before. 

"Um, hi Tor- er, _baby,_ " she said forcefully, glancing at Danae and Mirabelle out of the corner of her eye. "How's your day?"

Tora laughed. “Pfft. Baby, huh? Doin’ better now that I’m talkin’ to you, _sweetheart._ How are ya?”

Poppy could feel a blush blooming across her cheeks. “Oh, I’m good. I, um, I had fun last night.” Beside her, Danae and Mirabelle’s eyes were growing wider with every word.

“You thought _that_ was fun? I can show ya fun…” he rumbled. 

Poppy sharply sucked in a breath at his words. A wet heat started gathering between her legs; she squeezed her thighs together and began to laugh nervously. “Oh my god, Tora, you’re so funny!” God, she had never hated herself more.

“So, um, listen, my friends are here with me and they’re upset that they haven’t been introduced to my _boyfriend_ yet. Would you mind saying hello to them? _Please?_ ” she asked pointedly. 

That deep, throaty laugh again. “Ah. So yer sayin’ ya need a favor?”

“Yes.”

“I love those. What’s in it fer me?”

“Ummm…” Poppy eyed her best friends who were trying desperately not to lose it next to her, their hands clamped over their mouths. 

She needed him to agree to this and bring it home. Maybe afterwards they would stop trying to play matchmaker for her and she’d finally have some peace.

“Whatever you want.”

It was instant. “Sleep with me.”

There was a long pause as she chewed on her bottom lip. She didn’t know what she was expecting, she’d _said_ whatever he wanted, but did she really mean it? She wouldn’t deny she’d thought about sleeping with him more than once in the past twelve hours. Could she really-

“Bobby, ya still there?”

“Hmm? Oh, uh, yeah. I’m still here.” 

“Shit. Didn’t mean to make ya uncomfortable. I’ll talk to yer friends, just put ‘em on,” he said quickly. 

Poppy smiled as he backpedaled. He did deserve _something_ for putting up with this, didn’t he? “Well, what’s something _else_ you’d want in return?” 

Danae let out a squeal next to her.

He paused. “Dinner. At your place. Tuesday, 6 pm. Send me ya home address and I’ll find my way there.”

She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. She could manage dinner. At her place. Alone. With him. 

Right?

It was the least she could do.

“Sure thing, baby. It’s a date. Just text me what you’d like to eat. I’m going to pass you over to Danae and Mirabelle now.” 

“See ya then, sweetheart.”

“Oh my god, Dani, put him on speaker!” Mirabelle shrieked as Poppy passed Danae her phone. 

Danae clicked the speaker button and eyed the screen for a moment. _Tiger?_ she silently mouthed at Poppy and grinned wickedly. 

Poppy rolled her eyes playfully. _Overgrown kitten,_ she mouthed back. 

Danae let out a snort and joined the conversation that Mirabelle had begun with Tora. 

He really was a good sport while he chatted with them; he’d absolutely earned a homecooked meal, anyway. Poppy listened from the sidelines, just as eager as her friends to hear his answers to their questions. 

_Where are you from? Narin City._

_What do you do for a living? Private security._

_What do you look like? Six foot three and long hair._

_How did you meet Poppy? They met at a mutual friend’s house party. She looked like a goddamned angel and he couldn’t stay away from her._

Poppy thought it was odd that he didn’t elaborate more on his looks; he’d certainly seemed proud of them at the party last night. And if she was being honest, he had every reason to be. But even more than that, she couldn’t stop thinking about what he said regarding _her_ looks. 

_Goddamned angel, huh?_ she smiled to herself as the girls swooned and said goodbye to Tora. 

She’d be sure to ask him about that one on Tuesday night.


	3. Stone Cold Sober

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hooray for MPL update day! 
> 
> Part one of the dinner scene :) I hope you guys enjoy and as always, thank you so much for your support and comments! 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

"Knock me over stone cold sober  
Not a thing I could say I did  
'Cause baby when I'm walking with you now  
My eyes are so wide  
Like you reached right into my head  
And turned on the light inside  
Turning on the light  
Inside my mind, hey"  
-David Gray, "Be Mine"

\---

Monday came and went uneventfully. Poppy tried not to be bothered by the fact that he hadn't called or texted since they'd spoken on Sunday afternoon. All day the phrase _goddamned angel_ streamed through her mind like a shiny ribbon; was that really how he felt or was it just a line he'd used to charm her friends? She didn't know. She needed to know. 

By 9 pm, Poppy couldn't stand his silence anymore. Did he still even want to come over? She'd _basically_ said no to sleeping with him, so maybe he'd lost interest in her. 

She sat on her bed, dressed in her favorite pajamas: a long sleeved, two piece set with a pattern of sassy donuts on it. Speech bubbles hovered above every other donut with the words _Donut talk to me_ written in them in bold print. She briefly thought about changing her clothes before texting him; maybe she was sending out the wrong signals into the universe?

 _Please talk to me._

"God, Pops, get it together. Since when are you _this_ ridiculous?" she mumbled to herself. "Just text him and be done with it." 

Holding her breath, she punched out a quick message and hit _send_ before she could think twice about it. 

_Still on for dinner tomorrow night? You never told me what you wanted to eat :)_

She stared at her phone screen for ten minutes before finally flopping herself down on her comforter. She buried her head under her pillows and sighed deeply. This was so stupid. _She_ was stupid...

Her phone chirped beside her.

Poppy flew out from the under the mountain of pillows and snatched it up. She lifted it to her face and grinned like a madwoman at his response. 

_whatever you want's fine sweetheart. wouldn't miss it._

\---

5:40 on Tuesday night found Poppy hovered over her kitchen counter, adding the final details to a rice ball she'd made for Tora. The smell of seasoned meat and miso soup simmering on the stove pleasantly flooded her nose; she rarely cooked for anyone and thought she'd been able to throw a pretty decent meal together on her budget. She hoped he liked it. 

Even between keeping her hands busy and listening to David Gray crooning away from her laptop, Poppy was anxious. She was going to be alone, in her home, with a man she barely knew. The same man who had now propositioned her for sex twice. She wasn't sure what made her feel more uneasy: the fact that he might be expecting her to sleep with him or that she'd actually been considering doing it for the past couple days. 

It should have been enough to know that Quincey obviously trusted Tora as a friend, but it wasn't. She had called Jacob when she got off work and told him that she would be having her first dinner with this strange man in her home that evening. He'd tried to talk her out of it and then finally agreed to the favor she asked of him, to call her landlord if Poppy didn't text him every hour on the hour to let him know she was all right. 

Much like Tora, Jacob's favors came with a price: a weeks worth of reports due by Friday. Poppy rolled her eyes and considered calling Erdene instead; _she_ would probably do it just because. But involving Erdene would most likely come with its own sort of punishment, in the form of crude remarks, wagging fingers and "I told you so's." With a heavy sigh, she had begrudgingly agreed to Jacob's request. 

Poppy briefly contemplated sipping on a glass of sake to calm her nerves, but then thought better of it; it was probably best to keep a level head tonight. As the David Gray song on her laptop ended and shuffled into something a little more upbeat, she beebopped around the kitchen, sprinkling last minute garnishes over their food and wiping off the counters. She found herself feeling a bit more at ease with the current situation until her cell phone beeped at her from the dining table.

A text message from Tiger, sent at 5:45 pm. 

_i'm here. wanna let me in?_

Poppy dropped her phone on the floor. _Shoot! He was early!_ She wasn't mentally prepared to see him before 6 pm. She combed her fingers through her long hair and ran across her apartment to peep through the balcony door. In her rush, she bumped into one of her plant stands, sending it toppeling over on its side and flinging dirt everywhere. _”Fudge!”_ she shouted as she moved quickly to pick it up. "I'm sorry," she cooed at the small, battered ficus, "but I'll have to fix you later." She nudged it into the corner of her living room and then peered through the glass door, down into the parking lot. 

The first thing she noticed was the guy did not know how to park. The expensive looking blue sports car was sitting half-haphazardly outside of the gate, its front bumper angled up on the sidewalk while the end stuck out into the street. He was leaning back against the hood, looking tall and dangerous as he pulled at a cigarette. 

Heat broke across Poppy in waves before it settled firmly in her cheeks. She watched him for a moment more before stooping to the floor to pick up her phone. She tapped open the app to access the front gate and selected the _Enter Visitors_ button. Then she shot him a quick text before dropping her phone again. 

_Gate's open, come on up! 4th floor, apartment 31._

\---

Not two minutes later, there was a firm knock on her door. 

Poppy gave herself a small pep talk as she approached it and tried to ignore her heart slamming against her ribs. _Oh God. Okay. He's real. He's here. At your apartment. To have dinner. Alone. With you. This is happening and it's nothing you can't handle. Be cool. You got this, Pops._

_You've been through worse._

She quickly typed out a message to Jacob letting him know that Tora had arrived and then slipped her phone into her back pocket. She did her best to still her shaking hands before unlocking the deadbolt and pulling the door open. 

And there he stood, dressed in a gray and black zippered hoodie and dark jeans. A black ball cap was perched on his head and a pewter skull necklace hung loosely around the base of his throat. He was... even better looking than she remembered. 

She must have stood there gaping at him for longer than she thought, because he eventually chuckled and asked, "We havin' dinner in the hallway, sweetheart?"

Words had momentarily left her, so she shook her head and moved aside to allow him in. He was almost as broad as her doorway and definitely taller. He ducked inside, toed off his Converse, then circled around to close and lock the door behind him. 

"You know, they let just any old riff raff in here, I had to make sure you were good," she finally muttered and mentally smacked herself. _Say what? Way to go, Pops. What the fudge happened to being cool?_

Tora's gold eyes lifted up at the corners as he chuckled at her again. "I'm not good, I coulda saved you some time and told ya that. And aren't you the one who had to buzz me in?"

"Um... yeah."

His fingers fluttered over his hoodie as he unzipped it and then shrugged it from his shoulders, unveiling an olive green button down shirt. She noted with a smirk that the sleeves were rolled up, partially revealing his koi fish and peony tattoos. "Honestly, ya didn't really have to," he said. "I coulda just climbed over. The walls are so fuckin' low."

At that, she cocked her head at him quizzically. "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."

"Just because I shouldn't, doesn't mean I _can't,_ " he breathed. 

"Hmmm," she replied. It was an odd comment, but she supposed working in private security, it was the sort of thing you had to think about a lot. 

"S'there a place ya want me to put my jacket?" he asked. 

"Oh sure! There's a wall hook in... my bedroom," she mumbled. She reached out and yanked the hoodie from his grasp. "I'll put it up for you, just make yourself at home!" she shrieked and scurried down the hall. No way was he going to see her bedroom in all it's floral, cutesy, Studio Ghibli glory. 

Not yet, anyway. 

Poppy padded back into the living room and smiled at the sight before her. He was studying and twirling one of the hanging plants over her bookcase. 

"It's a zig zag cactus," she said as she came up beside him. "They're really easy to care for, but it's rare for them to bloom. If it does, the flowers are soft pink and they open at night.” She reached up and stroked one of the plant’s tendrils between two fingers. “They only last one day, so you have to pay attention or you might miss it."

His mouth tugged up at the corners. "Has it ever bloomed for ya?"

"Not yet," she sighed. "But I hope it will. I grew it from seeds and I've kept it healthy for years. I like to think it'll reward me one day."

"Hmmpf. Fer such a stubborn little shit, s’pretty cute,” he said and she giggled. He looked down at her then, pulled her hand from the plant and curled it in his own. 

His hand was warm, rough and so _big_ that it completely engulfed her tiny fist. It was nice; not exactly a perfect fit, but it felt safe, like the most natural thing in the world. 

Poppy let him continue to hold her hand until she felt a hot blush creep across her face. She gently untangled her fingers from his grip and began to slowly back away towards the kitchen. “I, um, I should… I s-should-“

“You should what?” he asked, his voice low. 

“I should um, get our plates ready. Have a seat at the table! I’ll bring it out to you.” 

Poppy prepared a serving of hot soup for each of them and hefted the beef, rice and veggies into bowls; extra meat and the animal rice ball for him, adorned with the tiny fish and flowers she’d cut from tofu. She poured two glasses of strawberry juice, arranged everything neatly on a tray and carried it out into the living room. 

Tora was seated on one of the floor cushions facing her; his large frame was curled in and hunched over the short dining table and she had to laugh to herself. It made him look larger than life, like the apartment was too small for him. 

_God, what a cutie._

She set the tray in the middle of the table and sat down across from him. She divided their dishes out and looked up as he asked “S’that?” He pointed at the red juice. 

“Oh, that’s strawberry juice! It’s my favorite. Have you ever had it?”

“Can’t say I have.”

“I know it’s no chocolate Russian, but I figured it would do,” she teased. 

“Pfft. Didn’t even have one whole glass on Saturday night. I only tried it cuz the princess wouldn’t quit harpin’ on me to drink alcohol. Said I was spoilin’ my own party.”

“Princess?” she asked. “And I didn’t know it was a party for you! Was it your birthday?”

“Oh, I call Quincey ‘princess’ on account of he is one,” he chuckled. It wasn’t the first word Poppy would have used to describe her newest client, but after getting to know him, she could see where he’d earned the nickname. “And nah, not my birthday. I was… away fer awhile and just got out- er, got back on Friday. Kind of a welcome home thing, I guess,” he shrugged. 

Tora took a healthy gulp of strawberry juice and his eyes widened. 

“What do you think?” she asked. 

“Damnit, that shit’s good,” he said and proceeded to drain the glass dry. “Fuck. Wasn’t expectin’ to like it.”

She smirked. He really did have quite the colorful vocabulary. “Well, you can have as much as you want,” she said and stood up. “I’ll bring the carton in here. And a bar of soap.”

He squinted at her. “Bar of soap? The hell for?”

“To wash your dirty mouth out,” she grinned and retreated to the kitchen. 

\---

After she’d refilled his glass and settled herself back onto her cushion, she noticed his eyes were trained on the bento bowl in front of him. 

“Is something wrong?” she asked as she leaned across the table to peer into the bowl. 

“It’s a tiger,” he said. “With hair.”

“Oh, that’s you!” she smiled brightly. “I thought it looked a bit like you, anyway. And I also made you some fishies and flowers because they reminded me of your tattoos. Do you like it?”

“It’s… fuckin’ adorable,” he said after a moment and took out his phone. He pointed it at the bowl and Poppy froze. 

“What are you doing?”

“Takin’ a picture of this damn tiger to send to Quincey...”

Flashbacks of humiliating lunches with Julri and his friends flickered through her mind and she gasped.

“Oh no, please don’t!” she cried out in a panic and lunged to grab the phone from his hand. 

“Why not? What’s the big deal?” he asked, raising the phone up over his head. 

She stretched her arms and grappled the collar of his shirt, desperate to stop him. “It’s for your eyes only! If you want to send him a picture, I can make something else for you some other time, something better!”

His eyebrows rose. “So ya already wanna have dinner with me again, huh?” he smirked. 

“What? No! I mean, er- yes, that would be fine. Just please don’t send him a picture of that tiger. The last thing I want is for him to make fun of you-“

“All right, kid, all right, just… _sit!_ If it means that much to ya, I won’t send it.” 

She sat back down on her cushion, her eyes settled on the rice tiger in his bowl. Once again, Poppy could feel heat spreading over her face. It seemed he had a natural talent for getting her worked up to the point that she turned red. She still wasn’t sure if she liked it or not. 

“Besides,” he said and she looked at him. _Was that a blush she detected on his face, too?_ ”Quincey wouldn’t make fun of me, he knows I’d beat his ass. He’d only be jealous ya didn’t make one fer him, too.” 

She offered him a small smile. “Well, maybe I will someday. Sorry I overreacted.”

“S’okay,” he said and slid his phone back into his pocket. He picked up the rice ball. “How do I eat this thing?”

“Oh, well, I usually like to eat it ears first. Or head first, you know, if it has a body.”

He blinked at her. “Jesus. A little sadistic, ain’t ya?”

She hooded her eyes and looked at him with as dangerous an expression as she could muster. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said in a low, even voice.

He laughed. _Those dimples would be the death of her._ “Damn Bobby, yer almost as scary as me.” 

She giggled and relaxed her face. “I don’t think you’re so scary, Tora,” she said earnestly as she popped a piece of broccoli into her mouth. It was the truth. He was certainly big and intimidating, but in an interesting way, a sexy way, a way that made her want to get to know him better, not send her fleeing in the opposite direction. 

His mouth quirked up at the corner. She watched as he set the tiger ball back into his bowl and rubbed his hands off on his jeans. Poppy sucked in a breath as he slowly scooted off his pillow and slid around to her side of the table. 

He leaned in to her, placing one hand on the floor on either side of her, caging her, invading her. His amber eyes gleamed as he moved toward her, closer and closer until his breath was hot against her cheek. 

“How about now?”


	4. Falling Slowly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dinner scene part 2 of 3 :) Initially I didn't plan for this scene to be this long, but these two just won't stop talking in my brain lol. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and for your comments! I'm so thankful to be part of this community <3
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

"I don't know you but I want you  
All the more for that  
Words fall through me and always fool me  
And I can't react"  
-The Frames, "Falling Slowly"

\---

"How about now?"

Poppy found herself completely rigid; maybe not _totally_ ready to lean in and kiss him, but certainly not wanting to pull away from him, either. She knew her eyes had to be as wide as saucers and she didn't even have to guess that her face was as red as the peasant blouse she was wearing. Was she scared? No. Intimidated? Sure. Turned on? You betcha. 

She did the only thing she could force her body to do in that moment: she moved her hand up, brushed a lock of his long hair away from his eyes and tucked it behind his ear. 

Poppy heard Tora's breath catch in his throat and she smiled. "You're going to have to try harder than that," she murmured. 

His eyes faltered for a moment as they studied her face and then he cupped her cheek in his hand. Her own breath hitched at the contact and her eyes slid closed. 

In this moment, her vision encased in darkness, their faces a hair's breadth apart, she trusted him completely. She waited for his lips to brush hers and cried out in surprise when he pinched at her cheek sharply with two fingers. Her eyes slammed open and her palm flew up to her assaulted cheek. "Wha- what did you do that for?!"

His grin stretched from ear to ear. "You had a piece of rice on ya face, I was just gettin' it off. Why?" he asked, his voice like dark velvet. "What did you think I was doing?"

"I- uh, well, not _that!"_ she shrieked and tried to push him out of her personal space. Immediately she realized how ridiculous it was to believe she could move him; it was like trying to budge a semi truck. "You. _SIT,_ " she said, giving up on shoving him and instead jabbing her finger across the table. 

Suddenly his other hand was on the opposite side of her face, squeezing the apple of her cheek. “So squishy. Like a damn hamster or some shit.”

“ _Acck! Stop doing that!_ ” she screeched, violently swatting him away with one hand, the other clutching at her face.

His shoulders shook with laughter as he backed away and retreated to his side of the table. 

“Why would you call me a squishy hamster, anyway?” she huffed. “It’s not very nice.”

He smirked. “How’s it not nice? Yer small and feisty and… goddamned _cute._ ”

She blinked and her hand fell away from her face. 

Cute?

_Goddamned angel._

Maybe he’d meant it after all.

\---

“So what’s the story with yer friends?” Tora asked as they polished off the remainder of their meal. “Why’d ya want ‘em to think I was yer man?”

“Oh, _that_ ,” she said, setting down her chopsticks. “Well, they harp on me a lot for not dating anyone. They have good intentions and I know their hearts are in the right place, but I just get tired of it, you know? I told them I was seeing someone so they’d get off my back for once.”

“Seein’ someone or seein’ _me_?” he cocked an eyebrow at her and swelled in his seat.

“Um, just seeing someone.” 

“And ya thought of _me._ ” A statement, not a question. 

Poppy was frustrated by how well he thought he knew her already. Did his cockiness know no bounds? First the teasing and flirting and _cheek pinching_ and now _this?_ So what if he was absolutely right? He didn’t need to know that.

Time to knock him down a peg or two. 

“Well, I tried calling Kane first but it went straight to his voicemail. That guy never charges his phone.”

She regretted the lie the moment she said it. Something clouded over his eyes, _hurt? anger?_ and then he crossed his arms over his chest, his voice tight when he finally spoke. “ _Kane?_ That little prick?” he sneered. “Listen to me, sweetheart. You need to stay the _fuck_ away from Kane.”

“What? Why?” she demanded to know, both flustered by his sudden change in demeanor and pretty ticked off that he presumed to tell her what to do. “What’s wrong with him?”

“Let’s just say we don’t see eye to eye. S’all I can tell ya.”

There was a long pause. 

“Well, can _anyone_ see eye to eye with you, Mr. Six Foot Three?” she finally teased in a low tone. She was not about to press him further. 

With her attempt at a joke, he visibly softened. His arms fell to his sides and he stood up. He rounded the table and then crouched down next to her, his gaze firmly settling on hers. He held his hand out. “C’mon, go relax, put yer feet up. I’ll clean the dishes.”

She smiled in acceptance of him and what she thought was his attempt at an apology. She took his hand and stood. “Okay, but I’m going to help you.”

“No, yer not. Ya cooked, go sit yer cute ass down.”

“Would you stop bossing me around?” she removed her hand from his and smacked playfully at his chest. “I can do what I want.”

He smiled and his eyes glimmered with mirth. “I’ll give ya somethin’ to do…”

“Oh my god, Tora! Fine! But I’m not just going to go plop down on the couch,” she said huffily, feeling drawn to him like a planet, desperate to rotate around his warm energy. “At least let me make us some green tea for afterwards.”

"Not ready for me ta leave yet, huh?”

“No," she smiled. "Not yet.”

\---

Poppy broke away from Tora for a moment to tap out a message to Jacob, then joined him in the kitchen. It had seemed like a small enough room before, but standing side by side with him, her at the stove and Tora at the sink, it felt… not cramped, but _cozy_ , like he was the missing element to transforming her house into a home. 

While he did the dishes, she realized she liked watching his hands. It was interesting to see someone so large and otherworldly perform a task as mundane and domestic as washing bowls and cups. He cradled the drinking glasses gently, bunching the rag down into the cup to scrub where his big hands couldn’t reach. A shudder ran through her as she found herself wondering what else those hands were capable of. 

They talked and teased until the last bowl was propped on the drying rack and the stovetop kettle screeched. She steeped and prepared the green tea: honey and ginger for her, plain for him. Then she briskly moved into the living room where she’d told or rather _ordered_ him to have a seat on the couch. 

When she entered the room, he wasn’t there. She set the steaming mugs down on her coffee table and glanced around before noticing the balcony door was open. He was standing there, hunched over the railing, facing away from her.

As she stepped out onto the small platform, the pitter patter of rain reached her ears and she inhaled the scent of freshly dampened earth. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked over at his profile. He seemed distraught, held captive by some deep thought. 

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” she murmured at last. “The sound of the rain, the _smell._ It’s one of my favorite things.”

Tora looked at her then, his jaw clenched, eyes hard like fossilized amber. “Yeah, s’great. And so are ya chances of a break in.”

Her head snapped back as though he’d slapped her. _Where on earth did that come from?_

“H-huh?” she asked when she finally found her voice. “I don’t know why you’re telling me this…”

His eyes traced the street below, then settled on the wooden railing. “Just four stories high, railin’s old, but still holdin’ up well… I woulda scaled this building in thirty seconds.” He pointed at the sliding door behind them. “Picked that lock in ten.”

For just a moment, fear gripped her and she regretted sending Jacob that last text. If she hadn’t, her landlord would be beating down her front door right now. 

Tears welled up behind her eyes. “I’m sorry, but I don’t see what this has to do with anything…” Then a thought occurred to her, one that would allow her to easily pretend this conversation away. “Oh. _Oh._ You work in private security, right? You must take your job pretty seriously,” she said, pointing at him with a shaking hand. 

He squinted at her. “What? Poppy, certain people have seen ya with m-“ 

Tora paused as his eyes locked on her trembling fingers. His head dropped and he sighed deeply. He wrapped his hand around hers and brought it to his chest. “Uh, yeah. Yeah. Somethin’ like that.” Another pause. “It’s gettin’ kinda late, I can head out now if ya want.”

This gentle gesture, coming from the same man who had just told her how he would break into her apartment, should not have comforted her as much as it did. But standing there, listening to the beating rain, gazing up into his eyes, her hand pressed against his heart, she suddenly felt a sense of absolution, like this man and moments with him, were meant to be in her life. 

She smiled up at him. “Don’t be silly,” she said and shoved the heel of her other hand into her eye, catching a tear before it fell. “Come on, let’s head in. Our tea is getting cold.”

She tugged at him with the hand he still held against his chest and he allowed her to lead him. As Poppy stepped inside, she heard the door start to slide shut behind her. “Ah,” she said and tapped his arm. “Leave it open?” She chuckled as he glowered at her. “No one’s going to break in, okay? And if they do, I know they’re not getting far with you around.” 

At this, he offered her a small smile and dropped his hand from the door. “Damn right. Balcony burglary’s on the rise though, Bobby. S’all over the news. Don’t be leavin’ this door open at night. Just… get better locks and install grilles if ya can.”

She pulled her hand from him and saluted him with it. “Yes sir, whatever you say.” 

He chuckled at her and shook his head. This seemed to dissolve the leftover tension of their talk on the balcony. She sat down on the far side of the couch and slid one of the mugs to the center of the table. She held her breath as she waited to see if he would sit beside her. She exhaled her disappointment as he grabbed the mug and planted himself on the other side of the sofa, leaving the middle cushion vacant. 

They quietly sipped at their tea for a few minutes, the backdrop of rain the only sound in the apartment. It reminded her of how she’d felt on Monday, sitting there, contemplating what his silence meant. She wasn’t going to let that happen again; she _had_ to know more about him. 

“So, how do you know Quincey?” she asked casually. 

“Uh, guess he’s sorta my brother,” he said after swallowing a mouthful of tea. 

She chuckled warmly. “What do you mean, you _guess_? Don’t you know?”

“His old man took me in when I was five. Been around him my whole life,” he explained. 

“Oh,” she said, not quite expecting such a heavy answer. She thought she remembered Quincey bringing up his “big bro” a couple of times in passing, but he’d never said his name. It made more sense to her now. 

“Well, it seems like he cares a lot for you. At least, enough to throw you a welcome home party,” she smiled. “He talked about his brother a couple of times, but he never told me your name.”

“Hmmpf. Yeah. He can be a real pain in the ass, but he’s one of my closest friends.” He looked at her sharply. “Don’t tell the princess I said that.”

She giggled. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

Another moment of silence passed and this time she took the opportunity to watch his hands again. The way he lightly grasped the mug, making it look so much smaller than it really was. The curl of his fingers around the lip as he balanced it on his lap. He was gentle, _fragile,_ a word she would not have used to describe him when they met Saturday night but now seemed all too fitting.

_Goddamned angel._

She had to know. 

Poppy held her breath and carefully slid to the center of the sofa. “Hey, Tora?”

He set his mug on the table and looked at her. 

“Um, when you told my friends I looked like a… a _goddamned angel_ … did you mean it?” she whispered. 

“Jesus, Bobby…” he breathed. “Just look into your damn mirror and tell me who wouldn’t think so.”

Her heart thundered in her chest and before she knew what was happening, both of her hands were curled around the collar of his shirt. With all the strength she could muster, she pulled him in and crushed her mouth to his.


	5. Feel Your Skin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final part of the dinner scene! I hope you're all enjoying so far :) 
> 
> I wasn't quite sure of the direction I wanted to take this story and then last night, while I was in the shower thinking about Tora and Poppy (as you do) it hit me like a truck. I'm super excited to work on it and I appreciate you guys being along for the ride with me! 
> 
> Thanks for reading <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Well, I'm not sure what this is gonna be,  
But with my eyes closed all I see  
Is the skyline, through the window,  
The moon above you and the streets below.  
Hold my breath as you're moving in,  
Taste your lips and feel your skin.  
When the time comes, baby, don't run  
Just kiss me slowly”  
-Parachute, “Kiss Me Slowly”  


\--- 

The first thing that came to Poppy’s mind when she kissed Tora was that his lips were warm and sweet and _soft,_ untainted by the foul words that frequently slipped past them.

The second thing she thought was that they weren’t moving against her own. He wasn’t responding to her at all.

_Was he not into it? Not into her?_

She slowly opened one eye and was met with his own golden gaze staring back at her, wide and round. 

Poppy blinked and pulled her mouth from him, that godawful bubble of rejection forming and taking up space in her chest. She clapped her hands over her face. “Uh, um- Oh, God. I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I’m _so_ sorry. I shouldn’t have jumped you like that. I just- I thought…”

Suddenly his fingers were wrapped around her wrists and he gently pulled her hands down. “Poppy,” he whispered brokenly and then his hands were framing her face. She held her breath. He pulled her in and their mouths met again.

This time, his lips moved slowly but firmly against hers, insistent and leading. His big hand slid around to cup the back of her head and she parted her mouth in a contented sigh. Tora seized the opportunity to sweep his tongue across her bottom lip. Her tongue met his own with fervor and she reveled in the taste of him, hints of earthy green tea and bitter cigarette smoke. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer until her chest was flush against him. He moaned at the contact and slipped his strong arms around her back. His fingers traced an imaginary line down her spine and she shivered. He began pressing his weight into her until she realized that he was trying to lay her down on the sofa. She obliged eagerly, ready to feel the length of his rock hard body stretched over hers. 

They kissed hungrily, their gasps and pants punctuated by the sound of falling rain drifting through the open door. She pulled his ball cap off his head and tossed it to the side so she could rake her fingers through his hair.

He balanced his weight on one elbow and his other hand ventured down her body to squeeze at her side, her hip. His arm slipped behind her lower back and hugged her to him. For the first time, she felt the bulge in his pants pushing into her and it thrilled her to know what she was doing to him.

Wet heat was pooling between her legs and she began to rock her hips against him, desperate for friction. He moved with her until his cock was straining against her jeans and digging into her center. Poppy let out low moans and gasps as they dry humped like teenagers on her couch. She hadn’t made out with anyone like this since Julri and even on his best day, he’d never made her feel _half_ the things that Tora was making her feel now.

She thrust her hips up into him until she began to feel lightheaded and tingly from her erratic breathing. Distantly she felt his hand slide under her shirt, then tug the cup of her bra down. His calloused palm spread across her bare breast and she cried out as he rolled her nipple between two fingers.

She allowed Tora to knead at her breast until one thought rose above the blissful static in her brain. 

_This man can do whatever he wants to me._

Poppy froze. She’d heavily considered sleeping with him for the past few days, but was she _really_ ready for that? They barely knew each other and physical stuff was a big deal to her, it always had been. She didn’t casually have one night stands or meaningless flings.

She and Julri had tried to have sex once and afterwards, she’d cried because of how wrong it felt, like he wasn’t meant to be her first. She didn’t want that with Tora. She wanted them to take their time, get to know each other and she hoped he felt the same. Or, at the very least, respect how _she_ felt about it. 

Poppy swallowed hard. “Um, Tora?”

“Mmm?” he moaned against her lips.

“Um, I just wanted to put it out there… I don’t think- I’m not ready for sex.”

He looked into her eyes. His hand slipped out from under her shirt and rested on her hip. “S’fine,” he assured her. “Not what I came here for, anyway.”

Relief washed over her. “Really?”

“’Course. I’m not about to make ya do somethin’ you don’t want to.”

“Okay, good.” Now she was curious. “Why- why did you come?”

“Simple, I wanted ta see you again,” he answered, sweeping a lock of hair out of her face.

“Couldn’t stay away, huh?” She smiled as she echoed his words from Sunday back to him. 

“Nope,” he said quietly. “Second I saw ya, I was a goner.”

She giggled. “The big bad thug defeated by a squishy little hamster.”

“Hmmpf. Somethin’ like that,” he said and flashed his dimples at her. 

Seeing those crescents in his face set her heart racing and arousal stirring deep in her belly. She licked her lips. “Um, so…I don’t want to have sex, _but_ … can we still make out for awhile?” she asked sheepishly.

Laughter rumbled out of him. “Sure, Bobby. I was hopin’ we weren’t done, anyway.” He dipped his head and fitted his mouth over hers. 

They picked up where they left off, kissing fiercely and thrusting against each other until she was panting in his ear. His hand fidgeted at the waistband of her pants and he looked at her with hooded eyes. “This okay?” he whispered. 

She nodded, her heart wrenching at his thoughtfulness. His hand resumed its journey south and unbuttoned her jeans. His fingers slid down and he slowly began to rub at her over her cotton underwear. She hummed her desire against his lips and she swore she felt him smile. 

Another thought surfaced in her mind. There was something about having cleared the air and being in an intimate, vulnerable position beneath him that made her want to pour all of her secret musings into his mouth. 

“Tora?”

“S’matter? Too much?”

“No. I… I lied to you. Before.”

“’Bout what?”

“About calling Kane.”

He sighed heavily. “Do we hafta talk about that fuck right now?”

“I just… I wanted you to know that you were the first one I wanted to call. The _only_ one I wanted to call.”

“Mmm,” he mumbled as the wave of her confession rolled over him. “Thanks fer tellin’ me. Wasn’t too keen on hearin’ I was his runner up.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“S’okay,” he said and kissed her. “Now shhhh.”

More deep kisses, heavy touches and then she couldn’t stop herself; the floodgates were open and there was one last thing on her mind. ”Tora?”

This time he pulled away and sat up, adjusting himself before leaning back into the couch. “You talk this much every time someone is tryin’ to kiss on ya?”

“No. Sorry, I just…” she pushed herself up and tucked her knees into her chest. “Why didn’t you text me? Or call? After Sunday. You sounded so eager to have dinner with me and then… nothing.”

He turned his head away from her, seemingly contemplating his answer and then he was looking at her again and his body twisted to face her. “I… I didn’t wanna pressure ya. I thought if you were serious about wantin’ ta see me again, ya’d let me know. Ball in your court, remember?” She nodded. 

“I woulda talked to yer friends for nothin’, but you insisted on a favor. Made me fuckin’ hopeful that you actually meant it.”

“But… I did want to see you again. It’s why I called you in the first place.”

He shrugged. “Didn’t know that at the time. Shocked the hell outta me when I saw ya callin’. Took me awhile before I could pick up the phone.”

Poppy tilted her head at him. She hadn’t expected him to be so open or _afraid._ “You’re not as cocky as you pretend to be, are you?” she smiled.

He smirked. “I’ll give you cock-“

“Oh my god. Tora!” She lunged at him and he shifted her around until she was straddling his lap. 

“Anythin’ else you want to say?” he asked, looking up at her and roaming his hands along her sides. 

“Nope,” she said, squirming until she could feel his swollen cock rubbing against her where she wanted.

“Good. I can’t kiss ya properly when yer doin’ all that talkin’.”

\---

“Be right back, I’m just going to use the restroom,” Poppy said shortly after they disentangled themselves on the couch. 

“I’ll be here,” he said, flopping onto his back and throwing his ball cap over his face. 

Once she’d closed herself in the bathroom, she pulled her phone from her pocket and sent Jacob what would be the last text of the night. 

_I’m okay, he left and I’m going to bed. Thanks for being there for me tonight!_

After he replied, she tucked it back into her jeans and used both hands to prop herself against the counter. She wasn’t sure what time Tora was actually leaving and she didn’t care. At some point after their talk on the balcony, she found herself completely at ease in his presence. This man wasn’t going to hurt her or pressure her. If anything, _he_ would be the one to shield her from harm. He seemed protective enough of her, anyway. 

She peered up at her reflection in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were swollen from Tora’s kisses. She smiled at herself. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so light or _happy._ It was all so completely unexpected, everything from meeting Tora for the first time to writhing beneath him on her couch after dinner. Now this beautiful man was laying on that same couch, waiting for her to come back to him. 

She flicked the light off and padded back into the living room. He wasn’t on the sofa where she’d left him; instead he was pulling the balcony door shut. 

“What happened to leaving it open?” she asked. 

He looked over at her, the door slid halfway closed. “Bobby…” he said. 

“You’re not leaving, are you?” She wrapped her arms around herself. Why did that thought hurt her so badly? He had to go home sometime. 

He sighed. “Nah, not yet. If ya want me to stay, I’ll stick around a bit longer.”

She smiled and dropped her arms to her sides. “Good,” she said and crossed the room to pull the door back. “As long as you’re here, it’s staying open. Will you… lay with me on the couch? And listen to the rain? Just for a little while.”

“Sure, Bobby. Whatever ya want.”

She allowed him to lay down and get comfortable first, then curled into his side as closely as she could. There wasn’t much room for both of them, so she sprawled her upper body across his chest, his heartbeat thudding in one of her ears and the thrumming of the rain in the other. It wasn’t long before she could feel herself dozing off. 

“Tora?” she asked around a yawn. 

“Yeah, sweetheart?” he rasped. 

“I’m glad we met.” 

The last thing she remembered was the feel of his arms tightening around her before she fell asleep. 

\---

She wasn’t sure what time it was when she felt someone gently rousing her from rest. 

A soft whisper at her ear. “Bobby?”

“Mmm?” she mumbled, rolling her head up to look at Tora. 

“It’s pretty late, I’m gonna head home. Ya gotta work in the morning, right?”

“Mmmm, I quit. Let’s just stay here like this forever. Right like this.” She nuzzled her face into his chest. 

He chuckled. “We’ll do this again, promise,” he murmured and she felt him kiss the top of her head. “C’mon kid, ya gotta lock up behind me.”

She grumbled her disproval and reluctantly sat up on the couch, yawning and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She stood to allow him to get up and then chuckled as he made a beeline for the balcony door. He looked at her and smirked. 

“Oh no, please, you do the honors,” she giggled as he made a big show of sliding it closed and locking it.

She reached out a hand to him and he took it. They walked to her front door and she slid the deadbolt open. She gazed down at his shoes while he tugged them on and her heart squeezed painfully in her chest. Why did she suddenly feel like crying?

Then she was wrapped in his arms and smashed against his chest. He was silent as he held her there and finally kissed the top of her head, her forehead, her lips. Tora released his grip on her and looked into her eyes. “Thanks for dinner, Bobby,” he said and offered her a small smile. 

She stood on her tiptoes to plant another kiss on his lips. “Anytime.”

He finally turned and opened the door. He gestured at the deadbolt. “I mean it, don’t forget to lock up behind me.” He stepped out into the hallway and then stopped when she grabbed hold of his arm. 

“Tora… will you…” she trailed off. 

_God, this was going to sound so clingy and stupid._

“Yeah?” he asked. 

“Will you call? Or text me? It’s just- last time you didn’t and…”

“Hey.” Her eyes flickered to his. 

“Try’n stop me.”

\---

About half an hour after Tora left, Poppy was crawling into bed when her phone beeped on her nightstand. She lifted it to her face and swore her heart shattered from happiness. 

A text message from Tiger, sent at 12:32 am. 

_sleep tight, sweetheart._


	6. Be Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry Smut-mas, everyone! 
> 
> Updates may be a little staggered throughout the week as I'm dealing with general life stuff, but rest assured I am always eagerly trying to get back to this story!
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy :) 
> 
> pb&c 
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

"This is the first day of my life  
I'm glad I didn't die before I met you  
But now I don't care, I could go anywhere with you  
And I'd probably be happy"  
-Bright Eyes, "First Day of My Life"

\---

Two weeks later found Poppy and Tora sprawled on her living room floor, their heads side by side on a throw pillow. She lay with her feet to the couch, her nose burrowed in one of Quincey's novels and Tora stretched out on the opposite side, playing some game on his phone. 

Since the night of their first dinner, he'd texted or called her every day and spent most of his evenings at her home. She offered several times to hang out or cook dinner at his house, but he always had some excuse, like the place was a mess because of renovations or his landlord was having something repaired. She wondered if he wasn't ready for her to see where he lived, just as she had been hesitant about showing him her girly, pink bedroom. Maybe he was a slob or he had a roommate he didn’t get along with.

After her fourth time asking and receiving a no in response, she decided to stop pressing him. She would see his home when he was ready. 

It's not like she minded his presence at her apartment, anyway. They'd only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, but she felt more comfortable with him there, safe and content. Her home felt strange without him taking up space inside and she always eagerly awaited the next time his shape darkened her doorway. 

She also noticed Tora hadn’t been driving his blue sports car to her apartment; she’d seen it one other time since that first dinner, then a yellow sports car had taken its place. “What happened to your blue one?” she’d asked him after his arrival one night. 

“Ah, just… returned it,” he replied. 

She’d seen the yellow car a handful more times before it was replaced with an old, rusted beater car. “What happened to your yellow one?” she asked him. 

“Was Quincey’s, he wanted it back,” was all he said. 

She wasn’t sure if Tora was a car guy, or it had something to do with his work, maybe company cars? But something told her she’d rather not know, so she didn’t ask again. 

Poppy was a few chapters into her romance novel when she noticed that some of the descriptions of the main love interest began to sound all too familiar. 

_"His lips were perfect - they looked as perfect as they tasted..."_

_"And as his strong, fierce gaze lowered, his eyes softened..."_

_"...and his long lashes cast feathery shadows across high, angular cheekbones..."_

She could feel a blush slowly creeping over her cheeks.

_Had Quincey created this character with a certain six foot three thug in mind?_

She hid her face in the pages and then slowly, _carefully_ lowered the book until she could peer at Tora over the top of it. It was a rare thing for her to be able to study him without him noticing; he had yet to fall asleep around her and if he did catch her gaze lingering on him, he always teased her for it: "Quit bein' such a creep, Bobby."

But here in this moment, he was relaxed and distracted and she was going to take advantage of it. 

Her eyes soaked in his black hair, pulled away from his face, the soft fan of his _perfect_ eyelashes, his straight nose, his full lips. How could a man as beautiful as he was even exist? And more so, how did he feel the same way about _her?_

She could chalk it up to good luck, being in the right place at the right time or she could believe there were some greater powers at work, like her dad was watching over her. She smiled at this thought and turned back to her book. 

A few moments later, his voice broke through the silence. “Hey, Bobby?”

“Hmm?” she asked, lowering her book to look at him. 

He was pointing across the room, toward the bookcase at his feet. “Ya get a new plant?”

She rolled over and propped herself up on her elbows so she wasn’t gazing at it upside down. She followed where he was gesturing and beamed at him for noticing. “Look at you, Mr. Perceptive. Yes, I did. I hung it up today, right before you came over. It’s a golden pothos.”

He squinted his eyes at her. “Thought ya already had one of them on the other wall. Why ya need two of the same kind?”

She giggled. “I have a heartleaf philodendron, in that corner,” she pointed to the plant hanging above the sofa behind her. “Different, but they look kind of similar. They’re both trailing plants, anyway.”

“Jesus. How do ya even remember the names of all of ‘em?”

“I guess I kind of see them the same way I see people,” she shrugged. “They all have their own look and they each have different needs or personalities. I care about them and I think when you love something, you have an easier time getting to know all about it.”

He seemed to contemplate her answer for a moment and then pointed at the plant hanging next to the golden pothos. “S’that one?”

“It’s a spider plant.”

He rolled over onto his left side and pointed at one on the balcony. “And that one?”

She laughed. “Testing me, huh? It’s a fiddle leaf fig.”

He smirked. “What about the one next to it?”

“Dracaena.”

He peered around the living room and pointed at a pink leafed plant. “That one? What’s her story?”

“She’s a red aglaonema.”

“The hell? Did ya just sneeze?”

She laughed. “No. That’s her name.”

“Say it again.”

“Ag-lao-nema.”

“God fuckin’ bless you.”

Poppy swatted at him playfully. “Are you done now? Did I pass your test?”

Tora narrowed his eyes at her. “Fer now. I’m gonna stump ya one day.”

“Sure, you keep telling yourself that, tiger.”

He flipped over onto his stomach and propped his head up on crossed arms. “S’pretty impressive, though, Bobby. I don’t know shit about plants or flowers. Well, ‘cept peonies,” he said, tapping at his colorful tattoo.  


Poppy set her book on the floor and put her small hand on his arm. “Can I see?”

He lengthened his arm out in front of him and her heart thumped wildly at the feel of his muscles rippling under her palm. 

She pushed his sleeve as far as it would go above his bicep and with her index finger, she slowly began tracing the linework of his tattoo, up and down, side to side, over the veins of curling leaves and the borders of blush pink petals. 

“Feels nice,” he murmured after awhile. 

“Mmm. Good,” she said as she lazily continued skimming patterns over his skin. “Why peonies?” she asked softly. 

“Mean good luck and prosperity, two things I can use a lot of in the… in my line of work. I dunno, just feel better if I have ‘em on me. Maybe that sounds stupid…”

“Tora, no,” she cut him off, clasping her fingers around his hand. “It’s obviously something that means a lot to you and it makes you happy, right?” He nodded. “That’s beautiful. There is _nothing_ ugly or stupid about what brings you happiness.” She planted a kiss to one of the flower’s centers. 

“Bein’ around ya makes me happy, kid.”

She looked up at him. His gaze was so intense and piercing that it went straight through her and she could feel the beginning signs of arousal stirring in her belly. “You make me happy too, Tora,” she said. 

He smirked at her. “So ya think I’m beautiful?”

“Mmm hmm, pretty,” she giggled and tapped him on the nose with her finger. She glanced down at his other arm and began tracing the lines of koi fish and the waves they swam against. He laid his cheek down on his forearm, looking away from her as he hummed his approval.

Poppy opened her mouth to ask about the significance of it, but the loud thudding of her heart and the ache between her legs made her realize that _this_ particular tattoo was not the one she was interested in right now. 

“Tora?”

“Hmm?” he mumbled. 

“Can I see your other tattoos?”

\---

His head shot up off his arm and he gaped at her. “What?”

“At Quincey’s party, you said you had other tattoos, but you would only show them to me if we were alone. And…” she bit her lip. “We’re alone now.”

He sucked in a breath. “Bobby…”

“Where is it?”

“On my leg.”

“Well, that’s not so bad,” she assured him.  


“I’d hafta take my pants off to show ya the whole thing.”

Poppy gulped. She had yet to see him with his pants off; over the course of the last two weeks, they’d done their fair share of messing around, but nothing involving more than their shirts and her bra coming off. She had wanted to take things slow with him and he respected that, allowing her to take the lead any time they got hot and heavy on her couch or in her bed. 

But curiosity drummed at her brain and she wanted to see his tattoo, dang it. 

And the longer she sat there and thought about it, the more she wanted to see more of _him,_ too. 

Wordlessly she crawled over to the other side of the pillow. He’d been lying on his stomach before, but as she rounded him, he slowly rolled onto his back, his eyes locked on her movements. 

Perched on her knees, she hovered over him and gingerly unbuttoned his dark jeans. She heard him inhale sharply as her fingertips grasped his waistband. Holding her own breath, she slowly began to tug them down his waist. 

She continued to pull his pants downward, unveiling a pair of black boxers that did nothing to contain his excitement. His thigh muscles shivered as her fingers brushed across them and she smiled to herself. Having that kind of effect on someone so large and intimidating was absolutely intoxicating. 

About halfway down his thigh, she was finally met with the sight of his leg tattoo: the back end and tail of a vibrant tiger. She kept pulling his pants down until they were at his ankles and she helped him as he kicked out of them. The striped cat stared at her from his calf muscle, where it twisted around and down to his ankle among swirls of gray and blue smoke. 

Her eyes widened as she took in the sight of his ink and the muscles of his legs. The man was a museum, a six foot three exhibit of colorful artwork and a chiseled body that looked carved from marble. He was stunning and for now in this moment, he was on display for her only. 

She reached out and touched the plume of smoke that wound around his ankle, then traced it up to where it merged into the tiger’s body. She saw his fists clench at his sides and his head fall backward onto the pillow, tilted to the ceiling. He was turning into putty under her hands and she was loving every minute of it. 

Poppy continued to slide her hand over the inked predator on his leg, then up until her palm splayed out on his thigh. She let it rest there for a moment as she gathered her nerve and then tentatively grasped his length through his boxers. 

A hiss escaped his mouth. His head flew up, his eyes as wide as they’d been when she first kissed him. “Bobby, you don’t hafta-“

“I want to,” she said as she slowly stroked him through the fabric.

For a moment, Tora’s eyes were trained on her hand as she worked at him and then with a soft moan, his head fell back onto the pillow once again. 

When he started squirming under her touch, she paused long enough to hook her fingers in the waistband of his boxers and pull them off him, watching in awe as his cock bobbed free. She’d known he was big from the times they’d dry humped on her couch and then just now, feeling him through his underwear, but seeing him in all his glory was something else entirely. 

Was there not _one_ part of this man that she didn’t find breathtaking?

She took his bare length in her palm and began thrusting at him again; his cock was velvet and iron, soft and hot. She finally used both hands to work him and it wasn’t long before he was bucking up against her rhythm. 

_What would it feel like to have him bucking inside of her?_

The thought made her wet with desire and she sped up the movement of her hands until he was moaning uncontrollably and cursing under his breath. 

“Fuck, Bobby,” he growled. “I’m close. Where do ya want me ta come?“

It shocked her that she didn’t even have to think about the answer. She pulled away from him long enough to tug her tank top and bra off, then continued stroking at him with both hands. “On my chest,” she said breathlessly. 

Hearing this was apparently his breaking point. “ _Fuck,_ ” he cried out and yanked his length away from her. She slammed herself onto her back and admired his face, eyes screwed shut and lips parted, as he spilled himself across her breasts. 

She loved being under him and watching him come undone. She decided in this moment that when she was finally ready to have sex with him, she wanted him to be on top, just so she could enjoy the view once again. 

He settled himself onto his back, chest heaving. He turned his head and looked at her, eyes soft in his afterglow. “Bobby,” he said after his breath returned to him. “I’ll help ya clean yerself off in a second, but first I gotta know… where the _fuck_ did that come from?”

She laughed, positioning herself so his semen didn’t slide off her. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “I just wanted to do that for you.”

“Well. Shit,” he rasped, squeezing her thigh with one giant hand. “You can see my tattoos any fuckin’ time ya want.”

She clapped her hands over her face and laughed. “Oh my god,” she mumbled. “What have I started?”

“Somethin’ I hope yer prepared to finish, sweetheart,” he said. “Think yer stuck with me.”

She lifted her hands away and smiled brightly at him. “Good.”


	7. Hold You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I worked extra hard to get this one out today! I hope you all enjoy this story and the pace it's moving at. I swear shit will start to hit the fan soon enough, so enjoy the fluff while you can ;) 
> 
> Also, just a note on the song used for this chapter... I discovered the musical Hadestown this week and I'm OBSESSED. I thought this song had Poppy and Tora written all over it and I was so excited to include it here. Give it a listen and tell me if you agree :) 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading! You guys are the best <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> ___

“I was alone so long  
I didn't even know that I was lonely  
Out in the cold so long  
I didn't even know that I was cold  
Turned my collar to the wind  
This is how it's always been

All I've ever known is how to hold my own

All I've ever known is how to hold my own  
But now I wanna hold you, too”

“All I’ve Ever Known” performed by Eva Noblezada and Reeve Carney 

-from _Hadestown_ , written by Anais Mitchell  


\---

A week later, Poppy was anchored to her desk at Giant Goldfish Publishing, elbows and nose deep in her filet mignon tart research paper. It had taken her countless hours, days, _weeks_ worth of work to get to this point and she was thrilled to finally catch a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. It would be her first official article to be published with the company and this, on top of landing Q. B. Noyouko as her first client, would surely take her places. Not bad for a fresh out of college grad with no experience. 

As she red-marked her notes, her phone dinged next to her. She picked it up and eagerly tapped it open when she saw what the notification was. 

_Tiger, 1 New Message_

He’d sent her a zoomed in photo of a tropical plant pushed into the corner of what looked like a restaurant, maybe Chevy’s? She could vaguely make out the silhouettes of men in black suits in the background, but no faces, as if the camera had been purposely angled away from them. Maybe a work meeting?

The past few days, Tora had been sending her pictures of plants he’d find in random places, always with the same caption: _what’s this one?_ He was so determined to stump her and very open with his disappointment every time she quickly fired back with the name of the houseplant. 

She giggled as she typed out her response.

_That’s easy, I have one at my apartment. You’ve seen it! Monstera deliciosa :)_

His response was instant. 

_well fuck_

Another text. 

_i think you’re delicious_

Heat seeped into her face and as she began to send him a reply, a hand came slamming down loudly on her desk. 

Poppy dropped her phone on her paperwork as she shrieked and jumped in her seat. She quickly glanced up and was met with a stern expression settled across the beautiful face of Erdene. 

“Okay, girl,” she said, wagging one slender finger in Poppy’s face, “for the past couple weeks, you’ve been walking around here like you just hopped on a dryer in the middle of its heavy cycle. Something is going on, so _spill.”_

Jacob’s voice floated over from his desk. “What are you guys talking about?”

Erdene rolled her eyes at Poppy before turning to face Jacob. “Girl talk,” she stated firmly. 

“Seriously?” Jacob whined as he slumped over in his chair. “Come on, you guys are the only ones here to talk to and I’m bored.”

“Why don’t you go on a coffee run?” Erdene asked. 

“Why don’t you?” Jacob fired back. 

Erdene looked at Poppy, her glacial eyes narrowed. “Damn it, is this boy twelve?” she muttered under her breath. Poppy stifled a giggle with her hand. 

“Because I’m busy talking to Poppy about personal things,” Erdene replied. 

“Like what?”

Erdene’s eyes squinted and a mischievous grin stretched across her face. “Like how she’s liking her new Diva cup.”

“What’s a… Diva cup?”

“Well, Jacob, I’m glad you asked. It’s a silicone feminine hygiene product in the shape of a cup that you insert into your…”

Jacob shrieked and jumped out of his chair, throwing his hands up in defeat. “Okay, okay, I’m gone! The usual, you guys want your usual coffee? It’s on me, just _please_ stop talking until I leave the room.” He yanked his jacket off the back of his chair and bolted out the door. 

Poppy cackled as Erdene took a bow. “Men are too easy,” she said. Just then, Poppy’s phone beeped on the desk and Erdene grabbed it, quickly scanning it. “Speaking of men, who’s _Tiger?_ ” 

Poppy reached out and snatched her phone from Erdene’s grasp. “He’s no one!” she blurted out and then realized her mistake. “Um, er- it’s no one…”

“Oh my god, you’re seeing someone! And you didn’t tell me! And his name is Tiger! Wait…” Recognition flooded Erdene’s features. “Tiger as in, half-naked Tiger from Quincey’s party, that Tiger?”

Poppy covered her hands with her face and moaned, reluctantly nodding at her friend. 

Erdene’s eyes widened. “You. Little. Wench. I told you this was going to happen! Oh, I so called it. I’m too good. From now on, I will only answer to ‘Your Majesty’ or ‘Goddess Divine.’” She hopped up to sit on Poppy’s desk. “So, tell me all about him. Does he treat you right? He better be a gentleman to you, I swear. What’s he like in bed? Does he have a brother…”

Poppy tuned out of Erdene’s rambling to consider the implications of what just happened. 

\---

After the spontaneous hand job she’d given him last week, Tora had helped her clean off and tugged her to her feet. “Got somethin’ I need ta talk to ya about, but there’s somethin’ else I wanna do first,” he said with a gleam in his eye. 

“What’s that?” she asked. 

“I wanna return the favor,” he murmured, reaching down to unbutton her jean shorts. 

Despite the throb between her legs, she grasped at his wrists to stop him. “Tora, you don’t have to do that. I didn’t, um- _touch you_ so you’d ‘return the favor.’ I did it just because.”

His mouth was hot against her ear. “Don’t ya remember what I said about favors, Bobby? I _love_ them.” 

She remembered all too well.

 _Sleep with me._

Her breath caught in her throat, the gnawing ache below her belly growing more intense by the second. If he wanted to do something about it, she was going to let him. 

He studied her for a moment and removed his hands from her. “Do ya not want me to? I want to, but s’okay if yer not ready.”

“No, no!” she cried out. “It’s not that I’m not ready. I am ready. I just didn’t want you to feel like you had  
to-“

His lips were on hers before she could continue her thoughts out loud. She moaned long and low into his mouth and he swept his tongue across her own. He lifted her up and carried her down the hall into her bedroom. Tora placed her on the bed and settled her onto her back before tugging down her shorts and underwear. 

He’d laid down beside her and traced circles on her wet center before slipping his fingers inside. He pumped and thrust into her methodically, teased her clit _just so_ and it wasn’t long before she was rocking and moaning against him, curling her fists into his shirt. He kissed her tenderly and whispers of “Tell me if it’s too much” and “You’re beautiful, Bobby” warmed her ear. 

She came hard against his hand; white hot stars shot across her vision and she couldn’t speak or breathe for several minutes after. When she finally returned to him, she rolled onto her side to face him. 

He smiled at her. “Was it good?”

She nodded heavily. “It was better than good. Honestly, I didn’t know it could be like that.”

“There’s more where that came from, sweetheart,” he smirked and barked out a laugh as she lightly swatted at his arm. 

“C’mere,” he said after a few moments. “I need to talk to ya.” He pulled her close against his chest and sighed. 

“Everything okay?” she asked, angling herself so she could look up at his face. She hadn’t known Tora for very long, but this seemed unlike him. Usually if he had something to say, he was outright with it, almost to the point of cockiness. She felt fear begin to claw at her chest. 

“S’fine, Bobby. I just gotta ask somethin’ of ya and it’s a lot.”

“Okay,” she burrowed in and hugged him closer to her. “I’m listening.”

Another sigh. “So, ya know how I’m in private security?”

“Uh huh.” She clutched him tighter. 

“Well, s’not just that. I’m actually a bodyguard. For Quincey.”

She blinked at him. Was that _all_ he was building up to? The title of bodyguard still fell under the umbrella of private security, as far as she was concerned. And she could see why Quincey might want protection, as he was a well-known author living alone in a large city. One could never be too careful. 

“Okay, that makes sense,” she replied. “So… what did you need to ask me?”

“Well, me seein’ ya the way I have been’s a… conflict of interest. Gonna be hard to focus on my duties to Quincey when yer havin' meetings with him and I can't keep my hands off ya," he teased and squeezed her bottom.

Poppy held her breath and frowned. She didn’t like where this was going. 

He noticed her face change and sighed. “Look kid, I’m not about to stop seein’ ya. Walkin’ outta yer life just isn’t an option fer me. I _can’t._ ”

Air returned to Poppy’s lungs. “Okay, good. It’s not really an option for me either. I kinda like you,” she smiled. 

He didn’t smile back. “That bein’ said, I need to ask ya not to tell Quincey we’re together. Probably be better if ya didn’t tell anyone, least not fer awhile."

Snippets of past conversations with Julri flitted painfully through Poppy’s mind. 

_”Uh… yeah… sure. You can meet my friends. But maybe next month. They’re all busy with classes. You’ll understand, won’t you?”_

_”Let’s get you some nicer clothes, before that. And maybe put some makeup on.”_

She felt the prickling of tears forming and jammed the heels of her palms into her eyes. “Are… are you ashamed of me? Of being seen with me?”

Immediately his hands were a vice grip around her wrists, pulling them from her face and forcing her to look at him. “Listen to me, Poppylan,” he said, using her real name for the first time since she’d revealed it to him. “That is _not_ the fuckin’ case. And I don’t want ya ever thinkin’ it is. Damnit, if I could, I’d throw you over my shoulder and carry ya down every street in the city, just so everyone knows ya mine.”

His eyes burned into hers. “But my job is more fuckin’ dangerous than ya might think and I gotta concentrate, not only on keepin’ Quincey safe, but you too." 

His next words left his mouth more quickly; they were sharp and panicked. She was so used to him being the picture of composure and seeing him this way unnerved her in a way she couldn't explain.

"Quincey's my brother, but he's a loud mouth. And he's well known. If he let it slip 'bout us to the wrong person... well, some of these fucks get bright ideas in their heads and hurt people you care about just to make ya suffer. I can’t have a target on yer back, I won’t. ‘Specially not ‘cuz of me.” 

He dragged a hand through his hair. “Fuck, why ya think I was parkin’ a different car outside of ya place every night? I couldn’t have anyone tracin’ me back here and findin’ out where ya live.”

She was crying freely now, not over what he was saying, but what he _wasn't_. Who would target her to hurt him? Did he have enemies? Did Quincey? He was confusing her and not making any sense. Why did she feel like there was more to this story? Why did it suddenly seem like it would be smarter to stay far away from him, this man who had done nothing but made her _feel safe_?

It wasn't long after she started crying that he tugged her into his chest. “Damnit, Bobby, I didn’t mean ta scare ya, but it’s the truth. S’not fair for us ta continue and you not know what ya gettin’ yerself into by bein’ involved with me.” He stroked at her hair and she felt him brush his lips against her forehead. “I wanted ta give you a choice.”

Blood roared in Poppy's ears. _A choice? To walk away? To leave... him..._

This thought alone scared her more than anything he'd said about his job. Upon this realization, she knew she wasn't going anywhere. She sniffled her tears away and blinked angrily at him. “A-a choice? To do what? _Leave?_ ” 

He nodded carefully. “It’s a lot ta ask of ya, sweetheart.”

“I’m not leaving you, Tora. It’s like you said, I _can’t._ You mean too much to me and the thought of not being with you…” She shook her head vigorously. “I just can’t. I won’t. Out of the question.”

He offered her a small smile. “Ya sure? It’s a big load ta shoulder fer someone ya only known about a month.”

“You’re stuck with me, remember?” He grinned and nodded. “So if keeping this a secret for awhile is what I have to do to keep _you,_ then that’s what I’m going to do.”

He crushed her into his chest. “Feisty little hamster,” he mumbled and kissed her hair. “Don’t think ya can’t change yer mind if at any point it gets too hard. I won’t hold it against ya.”

“I’m not going to change my mind.”

“Kay. I’m… I’m sorry. Fer not tellin’ ya sooner. And that this is my life. I don’t… like it,” he said quietly. 

“It’s okay,” she said and tilted her head to place a long kiss on his lips. “It’s not like it’s forever, right?”

Sadness, maybe _fear?_ passed over his amber eyes then; it was so present and heavy that Poppy would have offered to help him carry it, if she wasn’t so terrified to ask him why it was there in the first place. 

\---

Poppy had sworn that day not to tell anyone they were dating. She hadn’t met with Quincey in two weeks, he’d been away on vacation and checked in with her every once in awhile by text; some involved ideas for his novel and others were pictures of him with his friends, enjoying cocktails on the beach. 

When Poppy asked Tora why Quincey hadn’t taken him, his full-time bodyguard, on vacation, Tora snorted. “Never been to the beach and if I did go, it wouldn’t be fer work. Princess is safe enough. Took one of the other guys from my organization.”

She hadn’t caught up with Quincey in awhile and as much as she liked him, he was a bit self-absorbed and didn’t really ask about her love life. Poppy was fine with this; it would make keeping her relationship with Tora a secret that much easier. 

Kane hung around Quincey’s apartment frequently and she swore not to tell him, too. Tora was very specific about _“that sick fuck, Kane”_ not knowing they were together. When she asked him why he held so much hate for Kane, he shut down and said it was between them and that’s all she needed to know.

“It’ll be fine. I won’t tell him, but Kane doesn’t talk to me anyway, Tora,” she’d pointed out. 

_”Good,”_ he spat.

And now here she sat, shrunk in on herself at her desk, having just told Erdene the very thing Tora asked her not to. She felt awful, but at the same time, Poppy knew she wouldn’t tell a soul. She’d explained or rather _paraphrased_ the situation with Tora to her blue-haired friend and she’d crossed her black-painted fingernails over her heart that Poppy’s secret was safe with her.

“It sounds like he treats you nice, Pops, but that’s also a lot to ask of a new girlfriend,” Erdene said and Poppy blushed at the title. “He better be making it worth your while.” Erdene cocked an eyebrow suggestively at her. 

Poppy knew her face was as red as the flower she was named for. “He is,” she squeaked. “He’s a gentleman and he’s really sweet. We’ve been to a couple of nice dinners outside the city and… we do… other things, too.”

Erdene laughed and gripped Poppy in a hug. “You little minx! I’m so proud of you. I hope everything works out and you let me know the second he pulls any stupid shit. I swear, I will lay a curse on him and his firstborn child _so fast…_ ”

As Poppy laughed along with her friend, she thought back to that heart to heart with Tora and the one detail she didn’t reveal to Erdene. It was sort of personal and intimate and she thought maybe her friend wouldn’t understand why it was so significant. 

Tora had just finished kissing her senseless on the bed, seemingly lighter after getting everything off his chest. She’d giggled and kissed him back with fervor until a thought occurred to her, one that had been gnawing at the back of her head for days. 

“Tora?” 

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“If I’m going to do this, I have one condition.”

Tora laughed. “So feisty. Anythin’ ya want. Just say the word.”

Poppy swallowed. “I want to see where you live.”


	8. Carry That Weight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little later than normal, but I DID IT! I managed to push out an update today! I love writing this story and it makes me so happy when I have time to devote to it. 
> 
> A quick note about this chapter... it's not been explicitly stated in the comic where Tora's apartment is located, so I decided to take some artistic liberties with it and for the purpose of this story, it's located on the ground floor of Quincey's building. Maybe it was an old gym or something? That was my thought for it, anyway :) 
> 
> As always, thank you so so much for reading! I may not have the time to respond to all of your comments, but please know I read and appreciate them and tell my husband about every single one :) 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Golden slumbers  
Fill your eyes  
Smiles await you when you rise  
Sleep, pretty darling  
Do not cry  
And I will sing a lullaby”  
-The Beatles, “Golden Slumbers”  


\---

The drive to Tora’s place started off… tense.

Initially when Poppy told him she wanted to see where he lived, she didn’t think it was that big of a deal. If anything, she thought she was doing him a favor, saving him some time and gas money by going to see _him_ for a change. She offered to take a cab to his apartment and cook him dinner, both of which he immediately shut down. 

“Yer not takin’ a fuckin’ cab, I’ll pick ya up.” When she began to protest, he had literally picked her up until she was eye level with him. “If ya really need to see where I live, lemme do it my way, okay?”

She considered this for a moment, then nodded. This was something he was obviously reluctant to go along with and he was willing to do it for her. The least she could do was let him take the lead on things. 

“Okay. What would you like for dinner?” she asked softly, sweeping a lock of his hair out of his eyes. 

“Don’t got much to cook with. Not home a lot. If I’m not eatin’ here with you, I’m orderin’ out, so we can do that.”

Her hand paused on his cheek. That wasn’t the answer she was expecting and it pricked at her heart. He _never_ cooked for himself? Didn’t that get expensive? And more than that, did he not know how to cook? Had no one shown him how? No wonder he always ate so heartily when he was at her apartment. She couldn’t imagine not preparing her own homecooked meals. 

Poppy liked to eat out once in awhile, but there was something rewarding about eating food she’d made herself and she found comfort in the act of cooking. She loved making meals for him and she was going to bring that to his home. She’d relented on the cab, but he was going to let her have this. 

“I’ll cook something for us beforehand and bring it with me,” she offered, looking pointedly into his eyes as she said it. “It’ll be kind of like take out from my house.”

He sighed. “Bobby, ya don’t gotta-“

“I want to.”

He threw her a small smile. “Well, I _do_ love yer cookin’. Fine. Make whatever ya want, sweetheart.” 

Poppy decided that since it was going to be their first dinner together in his apartment, she was going to recreate the first meal they’d shared together in hers. A tiger rice ball for him, extra meat and fish and flowers cut from tofu. 

She made a smaller rice ball for herself and added details to it until it looked like a hamster’s face. She thought he would get a kick out of that. 

She’d drug out her favorite tote bag, a pink one that had “I’m Sexy and I Know It” scrawled across the front and packed it full of everything they would need: veggies, meat, rice balls and soup went in their own containers, a thermos full of strawberry juice and ice, along with cups, chopsticks, bowls and some cute embroidered napkins her granny had given her. 

She hesitated for a moment before she collected his dark hoodie from her bedroom and stuffed it in the bag on top of the food. She didn’t really _want_ to give it back; even though it had been in her room since the night of their first dinner, it still smelled like him. She loved wearing it to bed and imagining it was his arms wrapped around her. She figured she ought to return it eventually, even if he didn’t miss it or just kept forgetting to retrieve it from her apartment. It was still his.

Tora picked her up in Quincey’s yellow sports car. He’d shot her a text to let her know he was there, which was the first red flag that something was off. He _always_ asked to come inside, even if he was just there to quickly pick her up for an out of town date.

When she reached the outside gate, purse and tote bag in tow, Tora took one look at her, whipped open his door and jogged over to her. “Fuck, sorry, wasn’t thinkin’,” he apologized and slipped the tote bag from her shoulder. “Didn’t know ya were bringin’ yer whole fridge with ya.”

“It’s fine, you didn’t have to take my bag. And I wanted to make sure we had everything we needed. I brought some cute napkins for us to use. And I packed extra meat for you.” She didn’t think about it before she said it and once the “meat” comment left her mouth, she waited for the inevitable innuendo to leave Tora’s.

Instead, he gave her a tight-lipped smile and pulled open the passenger door for her. She squinted her eyes at him a moment before settling inside with her bags.

Loud, angry music blared from the radio and she noticed immediately that the car’s interior smelled like cigarette smoke. Red flag number two and three. Something was wrong. _Was he really that stressed about taking her to see his home?_

When he flopped himself into the driver’s seat and fired up a cigarette, she had her answer. She turned the volume down on the radio and looked at him. “Tora, if you don’t want to do this, it’s okay. The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable. We can just stay here and eat dinner.”

She reached for the handle to open the door and jumped when she heard a sharp click. He had locked her inside. She spun around to face him. “Tora, really, it’s-“

“Bobby, s’okay,” he said, dragging a hand through his hair. “You agreed to do somethin’ pretty big fer me and I know it couldn’t’ve been easy on ya. Least I can do is the same for you.”

“But-“

“I said s’fine. Now let’s get this over with.”

\---

They’d been on the road for about ten minutes when Poppy couldn’t _stand_ his silence anymore. He’d smoked through two cigarettes and his hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. She had to do something to relieve the tension, to make him feel better about this. Whatever his house looked like, it couldn’t be _that_ bad.

She turned to face him with her hands poised by her cheeks. “Hey, Tora.”

He glanced over at her and when he did, she pressed both of her palms into her cheeks and scrunched her mouth together to give herself fish lips. 

His eyebrows shot skyward and his mouth quivered at the corners. “What the fuck ya doin, Bobby?”

She didn’t answer, just continued to distort and screw up her face at him. Some faces her dad had taught her when she was young and others she made up on the fly. She finally stopped when he started laughing. 

“Jesus Christ,” he chuckled and shook his head. He reached out and tugged on one of her cheeks. “Ya real cute.”

“Ow, okay, oh my god, stop! Seriously, that hurts,” she giggled and he dropped his hand away from her. 

He tapped his cigarette out in the car’s ashtray and reached for her hand over the console. She eagerly intertwined her fingers with his and lifted his hand to plant a kiss on it. They rode the rest of the way chatting casually and when she switched the radio over to happier music, she saw Tora’s fingers on the steering wheel tapping in time to the beat. 

\---

The good mood Poppy created in the car ended the second Tora swung into the parking garage connected to Quincey’s apartment building. 

It took a moment for recognition to kick in for her; she’d only been to Quincey’s house twice since he’d signed with her and a lot of the buildings in Narin City tended to look alike. It was one of the nicest apartment buildings in the city, so what was Tora so nervous about?

She turned to him and her heart sank when she saw him lighting up another cigarette.

“Do you- do you live with Quincey?” she asked. 

“That princess wouldn’t survive it,” he said. “I’d kill him the second he tried ta dress me.”

She smiled. “So just in the same building, then?”

“Yeah. C’mon,” he said, swinging his long legs out of the car. “I’ll get ya bags.”

Poppy walked out from under the pavilion in the direction of the front doors, then stopped and turned when Tora called out behind her. He was standing at the corner of the building and pointing ahead of him. “We’re goin’ round back,” he said.

She cocked her head and allowed her feet to fall into step behind him. He led her to the backside of the building and stopped in front of an old, beat up door with a peephole. There was no apartment number and the handle and hinges were rusted. 

He turned the key in the lock and began to push the door inward. “Ya ready for this?” he asked, his words laced in a bitter tone. 

She swallowed and offered him the brightest smile she could. “Yes,” she said and he walked inside.

\---

Tora flipped on the light and stepped to the side so she could move in behind him. As she soaked in the sight of his apartment, Poppy’s heart broke. 

The overhead lights cast a cold, clinical glow across the room, which was constructed of four dark, concrete walls. There were clothes hanging from a peg on the adjacent wall, but no pictures with friends or family, no posters. Two small windows sat high in the wall and lent very little natural light to the space. The floor was also concrete and she was uncertain whether she should remove her shoes. There was no welcome mat to wipe them on.

A lonely, gray leather couch sat to her left and across the room from it was a simple media table adorned with a flat screen tv, a couple of speakers and some gaming consoles. A guitar leaned against one wall and a singular cardboard box took up space next to it. There was really nothing to suggest that he was doing anything but _surviving_ here. Or that he planned to stick around for long. 

No wonder he hadn’t wanted her to see where he lived, especially after having been to her home, where there was love and light, art, books and thriving plants. He could stay over at her apartment anytime, move in with her any second. She never wanted to think of him alone here. _Ever._

Her eyes continued to scan the floor: there was an ashtray beside the couch, some free weights were strewn about haphazardly and next to them was the one thing that finally gave her cause to smile: a couple empty cans of strawberry juice. 

“Well, this is me,” he said, gesturing out to the room with one hand, her bags still in the other. “Ya ready to leave yet?” His hardened gaze settled on her.

“Been drinking strawberry juice, huh?” she asked quietly as she pointed at the cans. She toed off her shoes and set them to the side.

He balked at her. “ _What? That’s_ what ya decide ta-“

She cut him off. “Well, the girl who introduced you to it must be pretty cool.”

The corners of his eyes began to crinkle. “Pfft. She’s all right. Got a cute ass.”

“Tora!” she blushed. “I brought us strawberry juice to share, but now I don’t know if I want to.” She began to cross the room when he circled his free hand around her waist. 

“Please share it with me, Bobby,” he whispered against her ear. “I love tastin’ like ya.”

“Oh my god. Tora!” She smacked playfully at his arm until he barked out a laugh and released her. Despite his incessant _inappropriate_ teasing, she was glad that he was finally in a better mood. He seemed more relaxed, anyway. No cigarettes in sight.

“All right, you thug, you’ve had your fun,” she said, blowing a piece of hair out of her eyes. “Now, where’s your kitchen? I’ll warm up our food.”

\---

The kitchen was as bare as the living room, but it at least had the essential appliances: fridge, stove, microwave. She heated up their dinner and arranged everything neatly into bowls. She poured two cups of strawberry juice and called out to him to help her carry it into the living room. There was no dining table to sit at. 

They settled side by side on the couch and balanced their food on their knees. When Tora spotted his tiger rice ball, he chuckled. “See ya made me another one of these handsome devils. Bet the guy it takes after is pretty cool.”

She rolled her eyes playfully. “He’s all right. Got a cute butt.”

“Pfft. I didn’t say butt, Bobby. I said ya gotta cute _ass_.”

“I know what you said,” she murmured around a mouthful of soup. “I don’t have a potty mouth, unlike some people in this room.”

“C’mon, I wanna hear ya say it.”

“No.”

“Please, sweetheart?”

She stared at him with hooded eyes. “Tora… stop it. You’re being an _ass_.”

He threw his head back and howled with laughter. “Damnit Bobby, yer fuckin’ adorable.”

She'd never been happier to see him smile. “As adorable as my mini me?” she chirped as she held up the hamster rice ball in front of her face.

He chuckled. “S’pretty cute,” he said and set his half-eaten bento meal on the floor. He leaned in close and she placed the rice ball back into her bowl. “Guess that makes _two_ hamsters I’d eat,” he whispered huskily. 

“Tora…” she breathed. Her heart thumped erratically in her chest. “You… you didn’t finish your dinner.”

He took her bowl and set it down next to his. “Not what I want right now,” he said and pressed his mouth to hers. 

\---

After they fooled around on the couch, Tora stretched out on his back on the cushions and held Poppy closely against him. He made sure she’d rocked and moaned and come against his hand, but wouldn’t let her touch him. She’d pouted and puffed out her cheeks, but he wouldn’t budge. “Ya can touch me some other time,” he murmured against the top of her head. “I just needed to feel ya.” 

He inhaled deeply. “Ya smell nice, sweetheart.”

“You smell nice, too,” she said, nuzzling her face into his chest. Cigarettes and some spiced soap, just like his hoodie. “Oh, I meant to tell you, I brought your gray hoodie with me. You forgot it at my apartment that first night and I wanted to make sure I gave it back to you.”

He chuckled. “Didn’t forget it, left it there on purpose. I liked the idea of ya wearin’ it. I don’t need it back.”

“Okay, good,” she murmured. “I _do_ like wearing it.”

“Ya wear it to bed?” he asked, his fingers curling into her side. 

She blushed. “Sometimes,” she mumbled. “Speaking of bed, can I see your bedroom? It’s only fair, since you’ve seen my girly one.”

“Don’t have one.”

She propped herself up to look at him. “What? You don’t have one?”

“Nah. I’m not here often. Don’t sleep much and don’t sleep well. Be a waste of a room, so I never set one up.”

“Then… then where did you put your bed?” she asked, flabbergasted. 

“We’re layin’ on it.”

Poppy’s heart sank. “Tora…”

“This is exactly why I didn’t wanna bring ya here,” he said, sighing heavily. “It’s… not a home. It’s a place where I eat, shit and sleep. That’s it. It’s not… good enough for someone like ya. You don’t belong in a hole like this.”

“And neither do you!” she cried. “I don’t know what kind of twisted view you have of yourself, but I don’t share it. I don’t accept it. You are a good man and you deserve _everything._ ”

He sighed deeply. “C’mon, I don’t wanna fight with ya, Bobby.”

“We’re not fighting. I’m right and you’re wrong. That’s the end of it.”

He chuckled and squeezed her. “Fine, whatever ya say.”

“Whatever I say, huh?" She pushed herself off the couch. "Get up.”

“What for?”

“You said whatever I say. Now, _up._ ”

He stood, his six foot three frame towering over her. “Now what?”

She lowered herself back onto the couch and laid on her side, facing him. She pressed into the back cushions as far as she could and patted the space in front of her. “Lay down.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Ya want me ta-“

“Be little spoon? Yes, I do. I want you to lay down and relax and watch a movie with me while I play with your hair.”

He laughed heartily and moved to join her on the couch. “Yer outta ya goddamned mind, kid.”

“Is it so out of my mind to want to hold you and make you feel good? You do it for me.”

He didn’t answer. He grabbed the remote from the floor and pulled up the Netflix app on one of his gaming consoles. “Whatcha wanna watch?”

“Something you’ll like,” she said and gently tugged his hair out of the half bun he’d pulled it into. 

He put on some new action film and pressed himself into her. “S’nice,” he said as she combed her fingers through his long hair. 

They chatted lightly through the first half of the movie, commenting on the special effects and cheesy dialogue. At some point, she asked him about one of the cars in a chase scene and when he didn’t answer, she leaned over and peered down at his face. 

He was fast asleep. 

\---

Poppy continued to play with Tora’s hair until the movie ended, then wrapped her arm around his broad chest as far as it would go and snuggled into him. The man put out warmth like a space heater, but she didn’t mind. It was heaven to be pressed between him and the couch, listening to the rise and fall of his peaceful breathing. It wasn’t long before her eyes began to feel heavy and she fell asleep behind him. 

At some point during their nap, he had stretched out on his back and pulled her across his chest. She knew this because when she woke up, Tora was throwing her onto the floor at the sound of his cell phone ringing. “Fuck, shit, fuck! Bobby, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” he asked hurriedly, his eyes panicked as they raked over her body. 

She was so shocked she couldn’t communicate that all she’d done was bump her knee. Instead, she nodded. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, sweetheart, but I gotta take this call.” She nodded again as tears formed in the corner of her eyes. _What was happening?_

“ _Fuck!_ ” he yelled and stabbed at his phone. “Tora,” he barked. He was silent as the person on the other line spoke. “Yeah, sure. Be up in a sec.”

He ended the call and crouched down to her. His eyes were wide and round. “Listen ta me. That was my boss, he’s upstairs at Quincey’s. I gotta go meet with him fer a couple minutes. I’ll be right back, okay?”

In her sleep muddled state and sudden confusion, she forgot that dating Tora was supposed to be a secret. “Well, I can come with you…”

“NO!” he bellowed and she jumped, tears flowing freely now. “You fuckin’ stay down here until I come back for ya, _do you understand me?_ ”

She nodded. “Y-yes.”

“Do _not_ come upstairs and ya lock this door behind me.”

She sniffled and spoke around her sobs. “O-okay, Tora.”

“Fuck, fuck, _fuck._ I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’ll make it up to ya, I promise.” He tugged his hair back into a half bun and then dropped a brisk kiss on her forehead. He pointed at the door as he opened it. “Don’t forget to lock up.”

Then she was alone.


	9. On the Seaside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy MPL update day, everyone! Why is it not like, a national holiday yet?
> 
> This is a LARGE update to make up for the lack of one yesterday. I was itching to get this one out and can't wait to hear what you guys think! I've thoroughly enjoyed reading through your theories and kind words; they keep me going through these crazy times <3
> 
> As always, thank you for stopping by and reading! I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Do you want to go to the seaside?  
I'm not trying to say that everybody wants to go  
But I fell in love on the seaside  
On the seaside  
In the seaside”  
-The Kooks, “Seaside”

\---

Poppy stood in front of her easel tilting her head thoughtfully, trying to figure out where she wanted to add more of this royal blue color. It was oddly warm for the middle of November and she decided to take full advantage of it. She dragged a blank canvas, her easel and art supplies to the roof and basked in the glow of the afternoon sun as she began to bring the picture in her head to life. 

The next few hours after his boss’ visit, Tora was different. He was quieter than usual and more on edge, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. She didn’t like this side of him at all. Where was the cocky, confident, silly man she had fallen for? She knew it was absolutely related to his boss dropping in unexpectedly. 

Poppy didn’t know the man and she already didn’t like him. He had a disturbing effect on her boyfriend and had whisked him away literally right out from under her. He’d said or done something to him and when he allowed Tora to return to her that night, he was half the man he’d been when he left. 

She’d sat on his gray leather couch for what felt like hours, intermittently crying and sitting in stunned silence, trying to process what had just happened. She eventually stood up and dug his hoodie out of her tote bag. She slid it on quickly; she wasn’t chilled, but the room felt cold, _lonely_ and she needed Tora’s scent to fill her nose. She settled back down onto the couch and wrapped her arms around herself.

_Was this what Tora felt like all the time?_

This thought made her cry again and when she’d finally exhausted herself, she fell into a dreamless sleep. 

She wasn’t sure what time it was when he finally came back to the apartment. She heard the door open and then shut quietly before feeling his large hands sliding under her. He carefully lifted her from the couch and then lowered himself onto it, cradling her in his arms like a baby. 

She blinked sleepily at him and was heartbroken by the look on his face. His eyes were unfocused, seemingly staring at something she couldn’t see. His mouth was set in a firm line and his breathing was too even, as though he was actively trying to control it. 

Poppy opened her mouth to say something and then closed it again. Instead, she reached out to touch his cheek. She used her pointer finger to gently trace an invisible line along the side of his face. There was a fleck of something just below his eye that she tried to wipe away. 

_Was that… blood?_

At her touch, Tora flinched and blinked before settling his molten gaze on hers. He didn’t say a word, just pulled her closer and began running his palms along her body, starting at her chin and neck, skimming down to her elbows and knees before stopping at her ankles. 

“Feels nice,” she whispered and offered him a small smile. 

He didn’t return it. There was a crack in his voice, like a dam ready to burst. “Did I hurt ya?” 

_Was that what he’d been doing? Checking her for injuries?_

“No,” she said, sitting up. “I promise.”

“I’m so sorry I had ta leave you alone. You didn’t deserve any of this,” he said, letting his forehead fall onto her shoulder.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in tight. “Can we _please_ talk about it?”

“Can’t,” he replied. 

Disappointment shattered across her in glass shards; they were sharp and cut her deep. More silence, more secrets. She wanted to shake them out of him, wanted to scream and stomp until he told her what she wanted to know. But they were both exhausted and he already felt so far away from her that she was afraid of what might happen if she pushed him further. As much as she didn’t want to, she’d let him keep his secrets for now.

But they would have to talk about it eventually.

She sighed heavily. “Okay.”

He allowed her to stroke his hair for a moment before gently setting her on her feet. He stood up beside her. “C’mon. Lemme take ya home. You’ve been in this place too long.”

He was silent and chain smoked the entire ride back to her apartment. When he pulled up outside the gate, he turned to her. “I’ll take ya bags in, make sure ya get settled in okay and then I’ll head out, all right?”

Poppy shook her head. After the night they’d had, she wasn’t about to let him go anywhere. “Stay the night with me.”

Disbelief colored his eyes. “Ya sure you want me to? I mean, after…”

“Yes. I don’t want to be alone tonight and I don’t want you to be alone, either.”

He considered this and finally nodded. “Okay,” he agreed and swung himself out of the car.

\---

As they prepared to lay down in bed, Poppy stripped completely out of her clothes. Tora’s gaze lingered on her _hard_ and she allowed him some time to soak in the sight of her. “I… I don’t want to have sex,” she finally murmured. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. I just don’t want anything between us tonight. I want to feel you. Is… is that okay?”

“Sure,” he rasped and shrugged himself out of his own clothing. Once he was naked, he paused at the other side of the bed. They stood and stared at each other in complete silence. His body had always been like puzzle pieces to her; she’d seen only parts of it at a time: his arms and chest at Quincey’s party, his waist, cock and legs as he writhed on her living room floor. She’d never seen them fitted all together before, bare and complete. Once she had, she realized she’d never come across anything in her life that was more beautiful than him. 

They slipped under the covers and came together in the middle of the bed, a tangled mess of arms and legs. Being pressed into his naked body was bliss; he was hard where she was soft and his skin was fiery to the touch. Her feet were always cold and his hands had callouses that felt rough on her own smooth ones. They contrasted in every way, but she’d never felt such an overwhelming sense of belonging with someone until she met Tora.

His arms curled around her back and held her firmly to him. She burrowed her face into his neck and occasionally pressed kisses to the skin there.

“Tora?” she eventually mumbled into the dark.

“Mmm?” 

“Have you really never been to the beach?”

“Huh?”

“When I asked why you didn’t go on vacation with Quincey, you said you’ve never been to the beach. Is that true?”

“Yeah, s’true. Always wanted to go, just… didn’t.”

“I’m going to take you,” she said firmly against his throat. “In the early summer, when the weather starts to get warm. We’ll build sandcastles, drink lemonade and take long, barefoot walks in the sand at sunset.”

There was a pause before he responded to her. “Can we drink strawberry juice instead?”

She smiled, relieved he’d found his way back to her.

“Anything you want.”

\---

Poppy dabbed a bit of white paint onto her paintbrush and began to stipple it purposefully across the canvas. Once she was satisfied, she added a bit of turquoise to the brush, a little more white and then swirled the paintbrush onto the palette until the two blended. She made medium-sized rolling strokes in the middle of the canvas and then streaked some of the light blue color across the top. 

She stepped back a moment to look at it. She really didn’t have much more to do to the painting, just sign her initials in the bottom corner and add a touch of blush pink to the top of the scene. 

Then it would be ready. 

\---

Quincey had returned from his vacation and been in constant contact with her about his novel. He said he was feeling refreshed and inspired to write and he “wanted to bounce _all_ of the ideas off of her.” 

It turned out Quincey had a _lot_ of ideas, usually so many that they couldn’t be discussed over just one dinner. In the week that he’d been home, she had already met with him three times. Not that she was complaining. He always sent a car to pick her up from her apartment and that car just happened to be driven by his very sexy bodyguard. 

Poppy loved the days when Tora drove her to Quincey’s and back. Not only did they get extra time to spend together, but now there was an excuse for them to socialize in front of other people.

While his “secretly dating” rule still applied, they could at the very least chat in a room with Quincey or Kane in it and not evoke suspicions. They rode in together several times, so they’d gotten to know each other a bit, right?

She wouldn’t have admitted it at first, but there was something… _hot_ about sneaking around with Tora. She’d read about secret relationships in some of her romance novels and while they were sexy and thrilling, she never thought she’d care to live one. What was exciting about not being able to grab your boyfriend’s hand whenever you felt like it or to give him a kiss no matter who was in the room?

Much to her surprise, it was _very_ exciting. It made all the times she _could_ do those things that much better. 

Besides, it wasn’t going to be like this forever.

\---

Tora told her often how much he liked the business attire she wore when she met with Quincey. Red floral shirts and pastel blazers, straight leg slacks and strappy high heels. “The more professional ya look, the more I wanna do _unprofessional_ things to ya,” he’d said as he picked her up the last time. 

The car rides to her blonde client’s penthouse were always filled with sexual tension. Tora would curl his fingers around her knee as he pulled away from her street and by the time they were turning in to Quincey’s parking garage, he’d done all but fingered her on the highway.

Once the car was in park, he would lunge across the center console at her, ravaging her senseless with bruising kisses that left her panting and wanting more.

The last time, he’d cupped her breasts through her shirt and then slid his hand under the waistband of her pants. He dipped two fingers into her and when she began thrusting against his touch, he’d pulled away.

She begged and pleaded with him to give her release, but he shook his head, a mischievous glint in his eye. 

“I’ll let ya finish later,” he’d murmured hotly against her ear. “Now c’mon, let’s get yer cute ass to that meeting.”

\---

The painting was finished and dry by the time Tora pulled up in Quincey’s yellow sports car. Poppy even had a few spare minutes to wrap it in brown paper and sparkly pink baker’s twine. She dropped some command strips in her favorite tote bag and made sure the item she’d tucked inside it earlier was secure. She tugged the bag onto her shoulder and tapped the gate open on the phone app. 

“S’all this for?” Tora asked when she opened the apartment door for him. 

“Oh, um,” she paused, glancing between the canvas and the bag, “they’re gifts. I’m allowed to bring gifts to the apartment, aren’t I?”

“Pfft. That princess don’t need any gifts. He has more money than he knows what ta do with.”

“Well, money doesn’t matter to me. It’s nice to do nice things.”

“Hmmpf,” he grumbled and reached out for her tote bag.

“No!” she cried out and he gave her a look. “Um, I’ll get this one. You can carry this?” She handed him the canvas. 

“Why ya bein’ weird?”

“I’m not.”

“Ya always let me carry ya shit before.”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything, mister. Ready to go?”

When they parked in the apartment garage, Tora ravaged her with kisses before exiting the car. As he reached for the canvas from the backseat, she stopped him. “Just leave it, I’ll get it later.”

He furrowed his eyebrows at her. “Whaddya mean, woman? We can just take it all now and save ourselves a trip.”

She let out an exasperated sigh. “ _Tora._ I said just leave it. It’s fine, I’ll get it out later.” She shut her car door, closing the canvas and tote bag inside. 

He locked the car and followed after her, grumbling something about “bossy little hamsters” under his breath. 

\---

“Honey,” Quincey said to Poppy as he poured her a second glass of red Zinfandel, “I can’t wait to introduce you to my new beau. Did I tell you how we met? It’s the cutest story: so, we met on the beach; he purposely hit his volleyball in the direction of my towel _just_ to have an excuse to talk to me. And then I lobbed some balls of my own at _him._ ” He winked and Poppy snorted into her wine. 

“Christ sakes, Quince,” Tora mumbled from the armchair. 

“Oh hush, you Neanderthal. You don’t have a romantic bone in your body, even after beta reading for me all these years. Poppy, did you see this caveman whip off his shirt at my house party back in September?” Quincey shook his head and laughed. “I’m surprised he didn’t start beating his fists on his chest and throw the poor girl over his shoulder.”

Poppy blushed and glanced at Tora over her wine glass. He was also looking at her and when their eyes met, he smirked. 

“Actually,” Quincey said thoughtfully, “Poppy, you’re single, aren’t you?”

Poppy could feel her face growing redder. “Mmmhmm,” she murmured and took a long swig of wine. 

“So is Tora. You know, you’re exactly his type. He may look like a brute, but he’s really quite harmless. To cute little females, anyway.”

“Quince…” Tora’s tone was low and full of warning. 

“What?” Quincey rolled his eyes at his bodyguard and turned back to Poppy. “On second thought, maybe he’s not _your_ type. You know, when we were kids, he used to spend his summer breaks hunting down spiders and setting them on fire to hear them scream.”

Tora leaned over in the chair and smacked Quincey in the back of the head. Poppy clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles.

“Oh my god, you fucking monster! I’m going to tell Dad you hit me,” Quincey cried, cradling the back of his head in his hands. 

“Go right ahead and do that, ya little snitch,” Tora spat and settled back into his chair. 

Quincey sighed as he regained his composure and smoothed his hair back. “Actually, I wouldn’t set you up with this animal if he was the last man on earth. But you know who else is single? Kane.”

Poppy gulped and dared to glance over at her boyfriend. His jaw was clenched and a dark look clouded over his face. She shot a pleading look at Quincey. 

_For the love of everything, please stop talking…_

“Honestly, you would be _perfect_ together. I don’t know why I didn’t think to set the two of you up before...”

She heard the sharp click of Tora’s lighter and then the smell of cigarette smoke filled her nose. 

“Ahh, Quincey, I’m honestly happy just being single and doing my own thing,” she said hurriedly. “But if any of that changes, you’ll be the first to know. Based on your books, you seem like THE expert on love and relationships.” If there was one thing she’d learned about her client, it was that he could always be derailed by a good compliment.

“Of course, honey! I mean, I must be doing something right. I’m living quite the fairy tale right now,” he gushed. “And I can always respect a strong, independent woman. You _have_ to be, especially when _this_ one-“ he hooked a thumb in Tora’s direction “-is driving you to see me. I can’t imagine dealing with him is easy.” He smirked at his brother. “The first time Tora gives you any trouble, you let me know. Just say the word and I’ll send Kane to collect you instead.”

Tora leaned forward and stabbed his cigarette out in the ashtray, then stalked out of the room.

“It’s not so bad,” she mumbled and waved off the comment dismissively. “I appreciate that he takes time out of his day to-“

She was interrupted by the sound of Quincey’s phone ringing. He peered at the screen and his face lit up. “Ooooh my god, it’s Jonathan, the new beau. He’s planning a trip out here to see me soon. Do you mind if I take this? We have _lots_ of details to discuss.”

“Oh, um, sure,” she said as Quincey stood from the sofa. “That’s fine.”

“You’re a doll, honey, thanks so much. Tora will drive you home. I’ll call you!” he cooed and sauntered down the hall.

She waited until she heard the click of a door shut behind him and then leapt from her seat to find Tora.

\---

Poppy found him in the kitchen, propping himself up on the countertop with both hands, his back facing her. His body language was stiff, tense and he didn’t respond when she said his name. 

She slowly walked up beside him and skimmed the countertop with her palm. “Hey,” she giggled, “isn’t this where I bled all over-“

She was cut off by his lips slamming against hers. His tongue forcefully demanded entrance to her mouth and she granted it to him breathlessly. She threw her arms around his neck as he hoisted her onto the counter. He nipped and bit at her throat and she was so turned on, she didn’t even have the thought to tell him to stop before he left a mark. 

He continued to ravish her with bruising kisses as he squeezed her breasts roughly through her blouse. It had never been this way between them before: so hurried, harsh and desperate. If she was being honest, it _thrilled_ her and it wasn’t long before she was soaking wet for him. 

Tora finally pulled his mouth away from her and hiked her pencil skirt up around her waist. “I wanna taste ya,” he rasped, his eyes burning into hers. 

He’d never done that to her before, but she wasn’t about to stop him. At this point, she’d let him do anything he wanted. 

She nodded and watched as his head dipped between her legs. She felt his fingers tug her underwear to the side and then his tongue slicked against her. 

Poppy’s head fell back and a low moan escaped her lips. Tora’s palm suddenly clasped against her mouth and it momentarily brought her back to earth. _He was going down on her. In Quincey’s kitchen. He was in his bedroom just down the hall._ If they were going to do this, she needed to be quieter. 

She breathed heavily against his hand as he continued to lick her: his tongue traced short, frenzied patterns over her folds and then it was thrusting inside of her, hot and wet. Tears began to leak from the corners of her eyes and when the pleasure began to overwhelm her, she threw herself back onto the counter and clapped her own hand over her mouth. 

Small cries bubbled out of her and she did her best to smother them. Her cries turned to choked sobs as he plunged two fingers inside of her and then sucked her clit into his mouth. 

_Why had they waited so long to do this?_

Between his fingers pumping in and out of her and his tongue rolling across her bud, it wasn’t long before Poppy shattered around him. Her legs shuddered hard against his face and tears streamed down her cheeks. 

Tora finally pulled his head away from between her legs and then he was hovering over her, his breathing uneven. “Ya like that?” he finally rasped out. 

Poppy had to wait a moment before she could respond to him; her brain was jelly and the ability to form words was lost on her. “Yeah,” she murmured and wiped the tears away from her eyes. “Can- can we do it again soon?”

He smirked down at her and kissed her softly on the lips. “Yer mine, right?”

She blinked at him. “Of _course,_ Tora.”

“Then I’ll do whatever ya want.”

The words _Then tell me what happened the night you met with your boss_ were on the tip of her tongue, but before she could voice them, he was fixing her skirt and helping her off the counter. 

“C’mon, Bobby, I’ll get ya home.”

\---

After she’d wiped down the countertop, Poppy followed Tora out into the parking garage. When the interior light of Quincey’s car came on, he eyed the canvas and tote bag in the backseat. “Almost forgot about those,” he pointed. “Did ya want to run ‘em up to the princess real quick?”

She shook her head. “Actually, they’re not for him.”

“Then who are they for?”

“They’re for you,” she smiled. 

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Fer me?”

“Mmmhmm. Come on, let’s get them out and you can open them in your apartment.”

His eyes faltered. “Bobby, I can open ‘em out here. Ya don’t need to go back in there.”

“Tora, it’s fine, really. I promise. This will be fun. Now, will you grab that one?” she asked as she pointed to the canvas. 

He sighed and eventually reached in for the painting. “Whatever ya want, sweetheart.”

The moment she stepped back inside his apartment, she swallowed hard in protest of the cold, miserable walls and lighting. She honestly hated being back in this place, but she was determined to create a happy memory with him here, something he could think back on when he was here alone. 

After he’d pulled the door closed and locked it behind them, she sat down on the sofa and patted the seat next to her. He planted himself down and she balanced the canvas on her knees and set the tote bag at his feet. 

“Which one should I open first?” he asked. 

“I’ll let you pick.”

His eyes flitted back and forth between the painting and the bag before he finally reached for the canvas. He tore the paper and twine off and when the painting was revealed to him, she heard him inhale sharply. 

“Bobby,” he said softly, his eyes raking over the sunset beach scene, “ya painted this?”

She nodded. “Yup, just for you. I know it’ll be a few months before we can actually go to the beach, so I wanted to give you something to hold you over until then.”

He said nothing; he just kept studying the painting intently. 

“And,” she said, reaching down into the bag, “I didn’t think you’d be able to hang it here with nails, so I made sure to grab some of these adhesive strips and hooks. They should stick to the wall no problem.” She placed them on the cushion next to her. 

She let him stare at the painting for a moment longer and then said, “Don’t forget, you have one more present down by your feet.”

Tora looked down at the bag and then gently passed the painting to her. He propped the tote on his lap and reached inside. 

He pulled out the plant she had tucked into it earlier that evening: a dark green ZZ plant inside a six-inch terra-cotta pot. He smirked and looked over at her. “What’s this one?” he asked. 

She smiled brightly at him. “It’s a ZZ plant. It’s low maintenance, you shouldn’t have to water it more than once a week. The best thing about it is it can grow just fine in low lit areas. It’s a pretty good starter plant.”

He looked back at the plant and ran his fingers over the shiny shoots before setting it down on the floor. He turned and faced her. 

“Well,” she said after a few moments of silence, “do you like them?”

He leaned forward and kissed her firmly. “I _love_ them,” he whispered against her lips. “Bobby… I love ya. I love ya so goddamn much it hurts.”

She grinned against his mouth. “I love you too, Tora.”

They sat there together for several minutes with their foreheads touching, basking in the warmth of those words that would forever linger inside these walls. He kissed her one more time before he pushed off the couch. He reached for her hand and she took it, pulling herself up. “I want ya to help me find a place to hang this damn painting,” he grinned. 

“Of course,” she said and handed the canvas to him. 

As he scouted around the room, holding the painting up to various places on the wall, her phone chirped in her bag. She pulled it out and pointed at the wall on the right side of the front door. “What about there?” she asked. “That way it’s the first thing you see when you wake up.”

He smiled and nodded, then held it up on the wall, directly in line with the couch. She handed him the command strips and glanced down at the notification on her phone. 

_714-565-4761, 1 New Message_

Curious, she clicked it open and froze. 

_hey poppy it’s kane. what’s up?_


	10. Set Me Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Set me free, leave me be  
I don’t wanna fall another moment  
Into your gravity  
Here I am and I stand  
So tall, just the way I’m supposed to be  
But you’re on to me and all over me”  
-Sara Bareilles, “Gravity”

\---

In the end, Poppy decided not to tell Tora about the text from Kane. 

Once she recovered from the initial shock of seeing his name on her phone, she looked up and watched Tora as he applied adhesive strips to the concrete wall, then hung the painting over them. He came to stand beside her and studied the wall intently. 

“Does it look crooked to ya?” he finally asked. 

Poppy slipped her cell back into her bag. She studied the painting for a moment, tilting her head thoughtfully. “It _is_ crooked,” she admitted. “BUT-“ she grabbed his arm as he immediately stepped toward the wall, “it looks better that way.”

He cocked an eyebrow at her. 

“No, it really does,” she assured him. “Come here, stand next to me so you can see what I see.”

Tora planted his feet beside her and slid an arm around her waist. 

“It’s almost like… you’re looking at the ocean from a boat…”

“Bobby, there’s sand-“

She cut him off. “When you look at the ocean from a boat, it’s never in a straight line. The waves roll and rock you back and forth and the boat leaves a wake behind it. It never looks perfect. Try to imagine: we’re on a boat, just you and me and we’re watching the ocean move and part around us. Do you see it?”

He stared at the painting in silence for a moment, then squeezed her tightly against him. “Just us. Watchin’ the water. From the _SS Hamster._ ” 

She threw her head back and laughed. “Fine. If it makes you happy, you can name the boat whatever you want.”

Tora leaned down and kissed her. “No one’s ever given me anythin’ like that before. Thanks, Bobby. I love ya.”

“I love you, too.”

He held her awhile longer, then picked up his new plant and propped it in front of one of the speakers on the console table. “Look good there?” he asked. 

“Mmmhmm. Perfect.” 

She wanted to tell him about the message from Kane; she had every intention. It was unwelcomed and odd and random. It was a text from another _man,_ one that, for whatever reason, her boyfriend held a certain hatred for. She should tell him. He deserved to know.

But in this moment, Tora was so _happy,_ the happiest she could ever remember seeing him. Though it was unintentional and bad timing on Kane’s part, she was not about to let him ruin this. 

\---

Poppy answered Kane once she got home and kept the message brief and polite.

_Hi, Kane. I just got home from a meeting with Quincey._

She purposely did not leave the message open ended by asking what he was doing. She wasn’t interested in continuing the conversation with him. Anything she felt for Kane had dissipated the night she met Tora and besides, she didn’t know Kane well enough to make small talk with him. He’d really never spoken to her before, so why start now?

However, he was still an associate of her client and she wanted to remain civil and professional. The last thing she wanted was awkwardness or confrontation at one of her meetings with Quincey. 

Kane responded almost immediately. He replied that he had just finished speaking with Quincey. Quincey mentioned collecting Poppy for meetings at his penthouse and Kane offered to drive her. He could make himself available anytime. 

Poppy balked at the idea. Yeah, like Tora would ever let that happen. She messaged him back. 

_Thank you for the offer, but I don’t want you to trouble yourself. Tora drives me right now and it’s been working out well so far._

_its no trouble but thats fine. just keep me in mind for your back up ok? :)_

Her eyes widened at the smiley face. It caused a sudden shift in the conversation; this was uncomfortable and she was going to end it now. 

_Thanks, Kane. Good night!_

Her phone began to ring and she swallowed hard.

_Was he seriously calling her right now?_

She glanced at the screen and relief washed over her as she answered. 

“Hi, Tora.”

“Hey, Bobby. Just wanted to call you and let ya know I made it back okay, like ya asked me to.”

 _That’s right._ She had asked him to. “Okay, good. Um, thanks for letting me know.”

“Everythin’ okay, sweetheart?”

Kane’s name was on the tip of her tongue, but it was late and she knew that Tora already didn’t sleep well. This would keep him up all night. 

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”

“Kay, I’ll let ya get to bed. Don’t forgot to lock the door.”

She giggled. “I won’t, I promise.”

“Better not. I love ya.”

She smiled. Now that he’d said it, she prayed he would never stop. 

“I love you, too.”

\---

Kane continued to text Poppy off and on for the next few days. 

The messages were always innocent and professional, keeping her updated on Quincey’s schedule and his availability for meetings with her. This made her feel more at ease with her decision to not tell Tora about Kane. It was strictly business related and there was no sense in getting him riled up over something that did not matter. 

Poppy thought it was a little odd that Kane was suddenly more involved in arranging Quincey’s planner and reaching out to his contacts, but she also knew Tora already did a _lot_ for his brother. Maybe this was Quincey’s way of lightening the load on his bodyguard. 

She could appreciate this; maybe it meant they would be able to spend more time together. 

Friday afternoon, Poppy sent Tora a text from her office, asking if he’d like to catch a movie out of town that night. There was a new romantic comedy out that she was dying to see. 

An hour passed and he hadn’t responded. He was probably at the gym or running errands for his brother. When he hadn’t replied by the time she was leaving, she couldn’t deny that she was disappointed. She was hoping he would swing by and pick her up after work so they could make it to the 7:00 showing and maybe grab dinner beforehand. 

No big deal. She could take the bus home, eat something, change her clothes and they’d catch the late viewing. He could spend the night and- 

Poppy blushed. She hadn’t said anything to Tora, but she was ready to sleep with him. They’d been together for a few months and she knew that he loved her. Not only because he had told her, but because of the ways he _showed_ her, like finally allowing her to introduce him to her granny over video chat and letting her drag him through greenhouses to hunt for clearance plants and pots before they closed up for the season.

Tora also showed her in the ways that he touched her: her face, her wrists, her lower back. Recently he’d become fond of tracing words on her skin and having her try to guess what they were. 

Even more than that, he never pressured her; when they fooled around, it only went as far as she allowed. And now, now she wanted _all_ of him and she was ready to give him everything in return.

If only he would pick up his phone. 

At 5:00, Poppy collected her things from her desk and cheerfully said goodbye to Erdene, Jacob and Gil on her way out the door. She stole another peek at her phone as she stepped out onto the city sidewalk and her face fell. Still no answer. Maybe her plans would have to wait until tomorrow night. 

She’d only walked a couple of steps toward the bus stop when she heard a voice calling out to her from the street. A sleek black sports car pulled up and stopped on the curb. “Hey, Poppy!”

The passenger side window was down and she peered inside. 

“Kane? What are you doing here?”

He flashed a smile at her. “Sorry it’s last minute, but Quincey asked me ta swing by your work and pick you up for an impromptu meeting. He didn’t give me any time to text you, just shoved me out the door. Ya know how he is,” he chuckled. 

She laughed warmly. That sounded like Quincey, all right. “Um, well, thanks. It’s nice of you to come, but…”

“Oh, ya got plans or somethin’? I can let Quincey know and maybe he can reschedule. Just said he was feelin’ real inspired and wanted to run some ideas by ya.”

Poppy glanced down at her phone. Still no response from Tora. At this point, she wasn’t sure if he would get back to her in time to even catch the late movie tonight. Hanging out with Quincey and giggling while sipping wine sounded better than a night alone. 

“No, I- I’ve got time. Um, no offense, Kane, but Tora usually drives me. Could he not make it?”

“Ouch, Poppy. Not good enough for ya, huh?”

She blushed. “No, no! I just mean-“

Kane laughed. “Relax, I’m just teasin’ ya. I think he’s runnin’ errands for Quince. Why? Ya sweet on him or somethin’?”

“NO! Er-no, no, I’m not. He’s nice, but-“

He threw a large, wolfish grin at her. “S’okay. Yer not alone. Women have been throwin’ themselves at Big Bro since I can remember.”

She frowned. “Oh, um… I see.”

“Anyway, hop in and I’ll get ya to the penthouse.”

She nodded and lowered herself into the car. 

\---

They arrived at Quincey’s apartment about twenty minutes later. The ride there was comfortable; Kane asked about her progress with Quincey and other projects she was working on. She told him that her filet mignon tart essay had just undergone its final round of revisions and was set to be published on Monday. He seemed genuinely excited for her and said he looked forward to reading it. 

They chatted casually the rest of the drive and when they pulled into the parking garage, Kane opened her door for her. She thanked him, feeling confused as to where Tora’s hate for him stemmed from; Kane kept things completely professional and he was a gentleman. 

He walked her to the front door and hit the intercom for Quincey’s apartment. “Hey, it’s Kane. I got Poppy here with me. Okay to let her in?”

There was a pause and then the uneven voice of her boyfriend came through the speaker. 

_”Send her up.”_

\---

Poppy was nauseous the entire elevator ride up to Quincey’s floor. She hadn’t told Tora about her correspondence with Kane and this was the last way she wanted him to find out. Their relations were completely innocent, but she doubted that would matter to him. All she could do was hope that he would understand. 

When she reached Quincey’s door, she didn’t even have time to knock; Tora whipped the door open just as she’d raised her fist. “Poppylan, what the _fuck_ are you doin’ here? With _him?_ ” he seethed at her under his breath. 

She blinked, momentarily taken aback. Then she was angry. How _dare_ he talk to her like that? “For your information, Quincey _invited_ me here,” she hissed. “Maybe if you had checked your stupid phone and answered me-“

“Tora?” Quincey called from inside the living room. “Are you going to let my little editor inside?”

Tora growled and stepped aside to allow her in. She could practically feel the anger vibrating off him as she walked past.

“Hi, honey!” Quincey waved at her from the couch. He had a journal open on his lap and it took her only a moment to realize he wasn’t wearing pants under his sweater. 

“What are you doing here, darling? Not that I’m not thrilled to see you, of course, but I don’t think we had a meeting scheduled today…”

“Oh, um, Kane picked me up from work. He said you were feeling inspired and requested to see me at the last minute.”

She could feel Tora come up behind her, radiating heat and rage. “The fuck is she talkin’ about, Quince? I’ve been beta reading with ya all afternoon and ya haven’t touched yer phone once.”

“Hmm, I’m not sure. Sounds like it was just a simple misunderstanding. Maybe he was trying to do you a favor and relieve you of your reading duties by bringing in a substitute,” Quincey chuckled. 

“The hell? He fuckin’ _lied_ to her, Quinceton. Don’t tell me you-“

Quincey sighed and waved a hand at him dismissively. “Tora, not this again. I swear, you’ve been squabbling with Kane like this since we were kids. Honey, when are you going to get over this weird little feud you have with him?”

Tora said nothing. She dared to look at him. His jaw was clenched tightly and there was an inferno blazing brightly behind his eyes. Poppy shivered. 

“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble,” she said quietly. “I can take a cab home…”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” Quincey said and patted the seat next to him. “Come, sit down. You can take Tora’s place for the evening. I’m sure you’ll have better feedback for me, anyway.” He stood up. “I’ll go pour us some wine and put some pants on. Make yourself comfortable!” He turned and wandered off into the kitchen. 

Poppy hesitantly looked up at Tora. “I-“

 _“Fuckin’ save it,”_ he spat, eyes boring into her. “Come downstairs when ya done up here.”

He didn’t give her time to answer, just stalked to the door and slammed it shut behind him.

\---

Poppy read with Quincey until 9:00. They’d ordered dinner in and polished off a couple of glasses of wine each. She was riding a slight buzz as she stepped into the elevator; she wasn’t drunk by any means, but relaxed and confident enough to face Tora after his outburst earlier that afternoon. 

Maybe she could get him to see reason and then they would make up on his couch. It wasn’t necessarily how she thought their first time would happen, but she was ready no matter what. She loved Tora and she wanted to show him how much. 

Once outside, she rounded the building and stood in front of his door. She knocked. “Tora? It’s me.”

“Come in,” he barked back and she winced. He obviously had not cooled down since she last saw him hours ago. 

She opened the door and walked inside, squinting her eyes against the harsh, white lighting. He was sitting on the couch, his elbows on his knees and his hands were on either side of his head, holding it up. She took a deep breath and sat down on the cushion next to him. She gently wrapped her fingers around his wrist. ”Hey…”

His head whipped up in the direction of the door. “God damnit, Poppylan, don’t leave the fuckin’ door open,” he growled, ripping his arm from her and storming over to slam the door shut. 

She jumped at the sound and wrapped her arms around herself. She had never seen him like this; it wasn’t good. “I’m- I’m sorry…”

He stood silently with his back to her for a moment. _”How many times do I have to tell ya to stay the fuck away from Kane?”_

Her head shot up. “Tora, it’s not that big of a deal. It was a misunderstanding. After you didn’t answer your phone _all day,_ he came to pick me up for a meeting with Quincey. What’s wrong with that? I’m safe and I’m here. I don’t understand why…”

She trailed off as he spun around. She wished that he hadn’t. The angry, _crushed_ look on his face was too much and tears began to form in her eyes. 

“Not that big of a deal? He fuckin’ _lied_ to you. He lured ya into his car. Quincey never sent him one goddamn message. Ya know how I know that? ‘Cuz I was with him all fuckin’ day. You know same as me that Quincey doesn’t touch his phone when he’s beta reading. Ya think he lets me on _my_ phone? Fuck no. S’why I didn’t answer ya. Christ.” He raked his shaking hands through his hair. 

“I’m sorry!” she cried. “I didn’t know.” She paused; this was the wrong time to talk about it. She knew that. She was a little tipsy and they were both upset, furious even. It was better to wait. But she couldn’t do it anymore. She needed answers and she needed them _now_. 

“Come to think of it,” she said slowly, sniffing back tears, “I never know _anything,_ Tora.”

“The fuck ya talkin’ ‘bout?”

She stood and faced him, hands clenched at her sides. “You never tell me anything!” she yelled. “You want to get pissy and angry when I accept a ride from Kane _for work_ but you won’t tell me _why!_ He’s been a complete gentleman to me. What’s so wrong with him, huh? What’s wrong with _you?”_

He looked as if she’d slapped him. Tears spilled from her eyes and she pushed them away. 

“I’ve known that fuck since we were kids,” he said viciously. “If ya don’t want to trust my judgment…”

“I do trust you, Tora! But it feels like you don’t trust _me,_ not enough to tell me what’s really going on with you.” She stomped up to him and shoved her palms against his chest. “Just tell me what’s wrong! Why are we really sneaking around? Why do you hate Kane so much? _Why the fuck won’t you just talk to m-“_

 _“I’m in the fuckin’ mafia!”_ he bellowed. 

She froze. 

“Is that what ya want to hear? How I was forced in when I was a damn kid and I’ve done things that would haunt you _forever_ if ya knew?” 

He pulled his hair away from his neck to expose the round, tribal tattoo she had traced so many times. The same tattoo Kane had. “The Balthuman brand,” he spat. “Held me down and drew it on me when I was ten years old.” He let his hair fall back and his hands balled into fists at his sides. 

“And as for yer buddy Kane? He’s the reason my brother is dead. Set us up on a bad drug deal and the cops knew where we were. Ya think I was back from some fuckin’ vacation on the night we met, Poppylan? I was in prison for a _year._ Got out that Friday.”

Her heart was in a vice grip in her chest. Ice replaced the blood in her veins. “So, you… But Kane… he’s…”

“What? Such a fuckin’ gentleman? He’s a dangerous motherfucker and yer ass just got into the car with him! After I’ve been tellin’ ya since the beginning to _stay the fuck away from him._ ”

“I couldn’t have Kane knowin’ we were together. He’s had it out for me fer years and if he found out about us, about you… God damnit, I’ve been tryin’ to _protect_ you. _Why couldn’t you just let me do that?!”_ he roared and in one swift movement, he crossed the room, lifted his guitar above his head and hurled it at the console table. 

The tv flew backwards, a long crack now rippled through the middle of the screen. One of the speakers toppled over. 

The last thing to fall was the potted ZZ plant; it crashed to the concrete floor with a ceramic _clang_ and busted into several large pieces. 

Tora immediately rushed over and picked it up. “Fuck, shit, _fuck._ Bobby, I’m sorry. I can fix this. I’m going to fix it.”

She tried to see him, but she couldn’t. Water filled her eyes and blurred her vision. All she could make out was the cold glow of the light filling the room. “The night we had dinner here… and your boss showed up… what happened?”

There was a change in his voice. It was suddenly broken and warbled. “Poppy, don’t do this-“

 _”Tell me what happened,”_ she grit out. 

“He called me up to collect an old debt. Owed the clan a lotta money. Made me bash his head in while the guy begged for his life.”

Poppy fell to her knees and sobbed. Immediately she felt his hands on her face, trying to force her to look at him. 

“Bobby, hey. I’m sorry. I’m _so_ sorry this is my life. Ya didn’t deserve to find out this way. But now ya know.”

“And more than that, Kane knows about us. Dunno how he found out. He wanted me ta know it was him that brought ya here today. He’ll use ya again to get to me. So that means we gotta be careful. I’ll talk ta Ronzo, get some surveillance goin’ on Kane…”

She wasn't hearing him anymore. A snake made of language had slipped in through her ear, slithered through her head and coiled around her mind.

_Careful. Old debt. Ronzo. Lotta money. Surveillance. Bash his head in._

__

The snake sunk its venomous fangs into her brain.

__

_Begged for his life._

“I can’t do this,” she finally said. 

His hands fell from her face.

“What?” he whispered. “You can’t… you sayin’ it’s over?”

“I love you and I’m sorry, but _I can’t live like this anymore.”_

“Bobby, at least lemme drive ya home. We can talk more about it. _Just wait…”_

“No, I’ll- I’ll take a cab. Don’t worry about me.” It felt like her body didn’t belong to her anymore. It moved on its own and stood her up, her feet propelled her to the couch and her hand reached down for her bag. 

“God damnit, sweetheart, _wait-“_

Her mouth forming the words she never thought she’d say. 

“Goodbye, Tora.”

She walked out the door and closed it behind her, leaving him alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for this one, you guys :( If it's any consolation, I've been upset all day knowing it had to happen and I had to write it. But I firmly believe that Poppy and Tora deserve a happy ending, so don't hate me too much for this chapter! It's not going to be like this forever ;) 
> 
> Once again, thank you all so much for reading and for your comments! You make me thankful every day to be part of the MPL community <3
> 
> pb&c


	11. The Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> ___

“So glide away on soapy heels  
And promise not to promise anymore  
And if you come around again  
Then I will take the chain from off the door”  
-Ingrid Michaelson, “The Chain”

\---

Poppy held it together the entire cab ride home. 

The van was driven by a sweet, older man with a red beard and a flat cap. He made friendly small talk with her, for which she was grateful. He chatted with her about his wife Gina and when he found out she was an editor, he rambled on excitedly about his day job as a librarian; he was absolutely tickled by the fact that they were “both in books.”

About halfway through the ride, the cabbie glanced back at her in the rearview mirror. “Say, little miss, are you feeling okay?”

She blinked her big eyes at him. “Um, yes, fine. Why do you ask?”

“Well, it’s just that you’ve been trembling since you got into the van. I cranked the heat up for you, but…”

Confused, she looked down at her hands in her lap. Sure enough, they were shaking hard against her legs. Huh. She hadn’t even noticed. 

She clasped them together and clenched them between her legs. 

“I’m fine,” she told the cabbie. “I’ll be just fine.”

\---

As soon as she walked inside her apartment, Poppy completely stripped out of her clothes and left them by the front door. She ran a hot bath and immediately sank down into it. She sat in the water until it turned cold and then wrapped a big fluffy towel around herself. She moved to the bedroom, dried herself off and slipped under the comforter. 

She plugged her phone in and when the screen lit up, she saw she had a text. 

_Tiger, 1 New Message_

_just need to know you got home safe_

She blinked hard several times, then quickly punched out a reply. 

_Made it._

She set her cell down on the nightstand and pulled the covers over her head. She repeated a mantra in her mind until she fell into a dreamless sleep. 

_I’ll make it. I’ll make it. I’ll make it._

\---

Saturday came and went uneventfully. She ate a small breakfast, drank some hot tea and read through _Pride and Prejudice_ for the millionth time. 

When Poppy finally finished the book, it was 3:00 in the afternoon and she realized she hadn’t eaten lunch. She picked at some grapes and cheese slices before deciding to go for a run. 

She hadn’t been on a run since college, but it would be nice to get out of the house. She tugged some sweats on, pulled her hair into a messy bun and threw on a pair of old running shoes. They were a little snug across the tops of her feet, but they would loosen up as she got moving. 

She didn’t bother to warm up or stretch; as soon as she was outside the gate, she bolted. Down the street, past the convenience store, through a little park on the corner. 

By the time she reached the library two miles away, she felt like she was going to throw up. But she wasn’t ready to stop; if she could just run a little harder, a little faster…

She pushed herself to run a mile back in the direction of her apartment before she doubled over, heaving for air. There was a searing cramp under her ribs and her heart raced painfully in her chest. She walked the rest of the way home and when she got inside, she collapsed on the floor. 

Her entire body ached and she could hear her heartbeat thudding heavily in her ears. She hurt so much that for a moment, she was afraid she was going to die. 

She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. 

_I’ll make it. I’ll make it. I’ll make it._

\---

Sunday she baked all day. 

Cookies, muffins, and cupcakes took up every surface in her kitchen. When she finally pulled the last batch from the oven, she realized that she had no idea what she was going to do with all of them. She certainly wasn’t going to eat them all. She hadn’t been very hungry, anyway. 

She decided to pack some to take with her to work on Monday, to celebrate the release of her first article. She prepared a platter for her landlord and delivered it; Mrs. Haru thanked her profusely and told her there was a new security guard who had started his shift that day and maybe she’d like to introduce herself to him?

Poppy went back to her apartment and fixed up a plate for the new guard, then headed downstairs. He was a younger, friendly, kind of awkward man named Gyu. He had longer, floppy auburn hair, a small goatee and some… interesting tattoos. They chatted comfortably for a few minutes and she was warmed by the fact that he was easy to talk to; it was like he’d known her for a long time. 

She eventually went back upstairs and organized the rest of her baked goods into containers. She’d figure out what to do with them later. 

She spent the rest of the evening rereading her article. She searched and scanned it line by line for mistakes, run on sentences, missing punctuation, _anything._

_Did she do anything wrong? What had she missed?_

In the end, she didn’t find a thing. 

\---

The release of Poppy’s first article was a huge success. Gil praised her highly in a one on one meeting and told her he looked forward to her future work. She updated him on her progress with Quincey and told him to please take a batch of cupcakes home to his wife for their wedding anniversary. 

Erdene and Jacob took her out to lunch and wanted to treat her to dinner and drinks that evening. They threw out the name of some restaurant a few blocks away and at first, Poppy had the thought that she couldn’t be seen at that place, too many people would know her there. Then she remembered that it didn’t matter anymore and agreed to go with them. 

Quincey and Kane both sent her congratulatory texts and told her how much they enjoyed the article. She answered Quincey and ignored Kane. 

Quincey told her he wanted to meet with her that coming Friday and he would send a car to pick her up. He didn’t specify who would be driving her and she was too afraid to ask. 

\---

Thursday night she laid in bed, unable to sleep. She could text _him_ and ask if he would be the one driving her. It would be harmless, strictly business related. 

She opened a new message, typed and backspaced, tried again, erased it. Once she was satisfied, she selected _Tiger_ for the contact. 

_Is Quincey sending you to pick me up on Friday? I can always take a cab._

He responded almost immediately. 

_be there at 6_

She didn’t sleep for the rest of the night. 

\---

At 6:00 on the dot, Poppy saw Quincey’s yellow sports car pull up and park on the curb. Blood roared in her ears as she checked her bag one more time to make sure she had everything she needed. Her phone dinged with a message from him, letting her know he was there. 

When she slid into the car, she tried her best to hide the fact that she was shaking. She propped her bag on her lap and slipped her trembling hands beneath it. At last, she faced him. 

“Hi,” she said quietly. 

He mumbled a greeting and lit up a cigarette. She couldn’t see his face; his hair was wild and loose around his shoulders. He pushed it away from his eyes and shifted the car into drive. 

“Um, you don’t have your hair up,” she said. 

He looked at her. “Ran outta hair ties,” he grumbled around his cigarette. 

“Oh. I… I think I have an extra one.” She dug around in her front pocket until her fingers closed around her favorite hair tie. She pulled it out and offered it to him in her outstretched palm. “It’s got a strawberry on it, though… if you don’t mind…”

He paused for a moment, then picked it up out of her hand. The tips of his fingers lightly brushed against her skin and her heart raced. 

“S’fine." He tugged his hair back into a half bun. There were dark circles and lines under his eyes. 

“Thanks,” he said.

“Welcome.”

\---

Ten minutes into their drive, Poppy couldn’t stand the quiet anymore. She’d lived with everything he _didn’t_ say for months and she was tired of it.

"Tora, I'm sor-"

"Don't," he said gruffly.

"Don't?" she whispered.

"Told ya you could change yer mind if it got too hard. Said I wouldn't hold it against ya."

She furrowed her brows at him. "But-"

"Poppylan, s'better this way. Just... _enough."_

They rode in silence the rest of the way.

\---

Tora walked her up to the penthouse and made sure she got inside. “Goin’ to the gym,” he said to Quincey over her head. “Lemme know when yer done and I’ll take her home.” He stepped out the door and she called to him before he walked away. 

“Thank you.”

The words hit him in the shoulder blades; he stiffened and turned his head halfway back to nod at her. Then he left. 

Once she was settled beside Quincey on his couch, he patted her hand. “Don’t mind Tora, honey,” he said casually. “He’s been a grumpy old tiger the last week. In fact, that’s the most I’ve heard him talk in days.”

\---

The ride home with Tora was completely silent. He chain smoked and she stared out the window at the cars passing by. When he pulled up to her gate, she swung herself out of the car and stopped when she felt her bag catch on something. 

His hand was wrapped around the strap. “Hey,” he said quietly. 

She held her breath. “Yes?”

“I- ah…” He let his hand fall from her purse. “Just… be safe, okay?”

After a moment, she nodded and rubbed at the tears pricking at her eyes. “You too, Tora,” she managed to say and then quickly turned around before he could see her cry. 

\---

Once she was inside, she stormed into her bedroom and dug his hoodie out from the back of her dresser drawer. Sobs racked through her body and she shoved the sweatshirt against her face to muffle her screams. 

After a point, her legs gave out from under her and she collapsed on the floor. She curled herself into the fetal position and cried until she was choking and hyperventilating. 

She loved him, she missed him. Now that she’d shared her life with Tora, she didn’t want to live it without him. 

But did _he_ have the type of life that he could share with _her?_

_Would he ever be able to get out?_

This thought only made her cry harder. 

_I’m not going to make it. I’m not going to make it. I’m not going to make it._

Sleep eventually found her on her bedroom floor, red faced with her body curled around his shirt. 

\---

Poppy cried off and on all weekend. 

She barely ate anything and she hardly slept. She didn’t change her pajamas for two days and wore his hoodie over the top of them. She ignored a phone call from her granny, then Mirabelle and Danae. She knew they would ask how Tora was and she wouldn’t be able to give them an honest answer, just more secrets and lies. 

Lord knew she’d had enough of those. 

She sat on her couch and scrolled mindlessly on her phone, then watched a couple episodes of a cooking show on Netflix. It was chilly out, but she opened the door to her balcony and left it open for hours. She had the stupid thought that maybe Tora would drive up in his car like Richard Gere in Pretty Woman and scale the building. He’d swing himself over the railing, yell at her to close the door and then kiss her senseless. 

He never did. 

\---

Poppy called in sick to work on Monday; she told Gil she wasn’t feeling well and thought she was coming down with a cold. 

“You sound pretty rough, Pops,” he told her. “You’ve been busting your butt lately. Why don’t you just take the week off? I know you’ve got a ton of time built up and you haven’t taken any since you started. Take a break, you deserve it.”

She didn’t relish the idea of being stuck at home for a week with only her thoughts to keep her company, but she also wasn’t sure she’d be able to face anyone at work right now. After silently debating with herself for a couple of minutes, she accepted Gil’s offer to stay home and thanked him. 

At 5:30 on Wednesday, Poppy’s phone beeped at her. 

It was a text message from Erdene. 

_I’m outside your gate, want to let me up? I come bearing goodies ;)_

Poppy hesitated before finally tapping the gate open with her phone. 

When she opened her apartment door to the smiling face of Erdene, she tried to force a smile back. 

“Wow, Pops, you look like shit.” 

“Gee, thanks,” she spat, but she didn’t mean it. She knew she looked awful. 

Erdene bustled past her, her arms overflowing with grocery bags. “Welcome. Okay, so Gil told us you were coming down with a cold, but I know that’s bullshit.” 

She set everything down on the coffee table and looked at her. “You’ve been acting like a damn zombie for the past week and there’s something else going on with you. Is your granny okay? Is it Tiger?”

At the sound of his nickname, Poppy burst into tears. 

Erdene’s face fell and she immediately gathered her into her arms. “Jesus, Poppy, you’ve lost weight. When was the last time you ate?”

Poppy cried harder and her friend squeezed her tighter.

“I’m sorry, girl. I knew something happened. Did he end things? Do I need to beat his _motherfucking ass_?” 

Poppy hugged her friend back and giggled through her sobs. “No, I- I broke up with him.”

Erdene held her at arm’s length and looked at her. “Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. I bought ice cream for us, so go grab two spoons. Don’t bother with bowls. I’ll unpack these bags and you can tell me as much or as little as you want. I’m just here to listen.”

Poppy nodded. “Thanks, Erdene.”

“Anytime.” 

\---

Poppy didn’t realize how badly she’d needed to talk about it until her friend showed up. Erdene brought her what she referred to as the “cure all for break up hangovers”: a box of chocolates, ice cream, a couple of new books, some face masks, a silky pink sleep mask with the words “I Woke Up Like This” written on it in calligraphy, a small unicorn plushie and a box of Mucinex. “Just in case I was losing my touch and your ass really did have a cold,” she joked. 

Poppy returned from the kitchen with two spoons and they cracked open the carton of cookie dough ice cream, her favorite. Erdene listened intently while she told her everything from the beginning; well, everything she _could_ tell her. 

She told her about calling Tora the day after Quincey’s party, their first dinner together, sneaking around because of his work, his hatred for Kane and finally the argument that inevitably led to their break up. 

“So,” Erdene finally said, “he wanted to keep your relationship a secret because of his work? To keep you safe?”

Poppy nodded. 

“And you knew he hated Kane, but he never told you why?”

“Well, he did,” Poppy said. “It was during that huge argument. The night we broke up, he told me that Kane had… caused a lot of grief for him in the past.”

Erdene nodded thoughtfully. “Okay. Now listen, I’m not defending him at all. I don’t condone his keeping secrets, but didn’t you _kind_ of do the same thing to Tora when you didn’t tell him that Kane started texting you?”

“No, it’s not the same thing,” she said defensively. 

“Look, Pops, I can see you getting worked up. And I don’t want you thinking I’m not on your side here. Because I am. Team Poppy all the way. But think about it: didn’t you keep a secret about Kane from Tora with the same intentions he had? To protect him and keep him from getting worked up or worried?”

 _You don’t know the whole story!_ Poppy wanted to scream at her. But she knew she couldn’t give Erdene every single, horrible detail, so instead she nodded and thought about what her friend said. 

If you didn’t consider the fact that they were both in the mafia, her reasons for not telling Tora about Kane _were_ incredibly similar to his own. She hadn’t wanted to upset him, to give him cause for hurt, worry or confusion, to give him doubts about their relationship. 

Obviously, she hadn’t withheld information from him to literally save his _life,_ but their core intentions were the same. They wanted to protect each other. That was what you did when you loved someone, right? You shielded them from the things that would hurt them. 

She thought back on what Tora had said about being in the mafia. He was forced in as a child, branded against his will and made to do things that he obviously didn’t want to. She remembered the look on his face when he returned to his apartment that one awful night. He was sitting on the couch, but he wasn’t really _there._

The mafia wasn’t who he was, it was what he did. What he _had_ to do. 

And he hated it just as much as she did. 

“We had the exact same reasons,” she finally said. “We’re the same.”

“I’m not saying you have to rush back into his arms or anything,” Erdene said. “I’m just calling it like I see it. He’s been in love with you since the night of that party. And I know you love him. _Obviously_ you two have some communication issues to work on, but I’ve never seen you as happy as when you were with him.”

“I was happy,” she said, rubbing tears away from her eyes. “You’re right.”

Erdene winked at her. “Aren’t I always?”

\---

An hour later, Erdene was heading out the front door. “Don’t make any rash decisions,” she said as she hugged Poppy tight. “Just take some time, get dressed, _eat something_ and feel better, okay?”

She pulled away from Poppy and then pointed at the droopy golden pothos by her bookcase. “And water your plants, girl. They didn’t do anything to you.”

Poppy giggled. “Thanks for coming over, Erdene. I’m lucky to have a friend like you.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Erdene laughed and waved goodbye as she headed down the hall. 

\---

Friday evening, Poppy was in a sweater and jeans, the first real set of clothes she’d worn all week. She’d done laundry, washed the dishes and dusted her bookshelves, where she was met with the sight of her sad hanging pothos. Erdene was right. Her plants hadn’t done anything wrong. 

She filled up a watering can and began a lazy tour around her apartment. She started by the sliding glass door, giving each of the houseplants she’d brought in from the balcony a long, healthy drink. 

She circled her way around the living room and ended at her bookcase. She stood on a chair and watered her pothos, then turned to the zig zag cactus behind her. 

As she gently moved some tendrils of the plant aside to reach the soil, she gasped. 

There, nestled among the long, green shoots, was a row of pink flowers in full bloom. 

_They only last one day, so you have to pay attention or you might miss it._

Determined, Poppy hopped down from the chair. 

She was done missing him. 

\---

It was snowing lightly outside, so she threw on her thickest coat and boots before calling for a cab. The entire ride to his apartment, she shook with anticipation. Her heart felt as though it was going to swan dive out of her chest, so she kept her arms crossed tightly across herself. 

She didn’t know if he would want her back or if he thought it would be safer if they were apart. Regardless, there were things she had to tell him and all he needed to do was listen. 

That would be enough. 

When she stepped out of the cab and it drove away, Poppy was slapped with the thought that he might not even be home. What would she do then? Maybe buzz Quincey and make up some work excuse as to why she was there?

She was about to find out. 

She rounded the building, squinting her eyes against the snowflakes flying at her face. She approached his doorstep and could make out large shoe prints in the snow in front of it. They looked fresh. 

She took a deep breath and exhaled it in a soft, misty cloud. 

She knocked a couple of times and then sent him a text. 

_I’m at your apartment. Do you want to let me in?_

A moment later, the door swung open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the little sprinkle of sadness on top of the depressing sundae I gave you all yesterday, but trust me, it will only make the reunion that much sweeter ;)
> 
> Also, can I just say I'm so glad you guys hate Kane and NOT me for getting in the way of our favorite couple? Lolololol I was rolling at your comments about carpooling to kill him. I call shotgun! Dude is a _creep._
> 
> As always, thank you so so much for reading and your support! I hope you all enjoyed :)


	12. Good as New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and gentlemen... the moment you've been waiting for! 
> 
> I hope this chapter makes up for all the angst and emotional turmoil I've put you through with the last couple of updates! Trust me, I was a mess, too. I'm just so glad you all 1) don't hate me and 2) understood that this was just a part of the plan. 
> 
> I also wanted to say something about the song I used for this chapter. So I'm a total goon and have a Spotify playlist for this story and I listen to it to put myself in certain moods for certain chapters. The other day when I had it on, it played through and then shuffled to recommended songs based on the Stages playlist. The song "Two" by Sleeping at Last started playing and I stopped EVERYTHING I was doing to listen. 
> 
> From what I understand, it's from their album called "Atlas: Enneagram" and every song is dedicated to a different personality type. I didn't know this when I listened to it for the first time, so I purely heard it as a love song. To me personally, it totally encapsulates the relationship between Poppy and Tora, the equal give and take and wanting to be there for each other no matter what. It was perfect. I mean, I had already planned on her showing up on his doorstep and him opening the door to her and the first stanza of "Two" fit the scene so brilliantly! Come on, the first word is _sweetheart,_ for crying out loud. 
> 
> Anyhoo, all this rambling just to say that if there is ONE song from this story you decide to listen to, let it be this one :) 
> 
> Thank you all so so much for reading and for your comments! You are the best peeps there are <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Sweetheart, you look a little tired  
When did you last eat?  
Come in and make yourself right at home  
Stay as long as you need  
Tell me, is something wrong?  
If something's wrong, you can count on me  
You know I'll take my heart clean apart if it helps yours beat”  
-Sleeping at Last, “Two”

\---

The door swung open and there he stood in a black tank and fitted gray sweatpants. All of his hair was piled onto his head in a messy bun and there was a light sheen of sweat on his skin. She knew this look all too well; he’d just gotten back from a rigorous workout at the gym. 

There was one thing different about this look though; there were dark circles under his eyes. Even though they made him look tired and worn too thin, the contrast of the gray bruising against his amber eyes made his gaze brighter and all the more piercing. 

Her heart thumped hard against her ribs.

They stared at each other for a moment and then she found her voice. 

“Hi,” she said, holding her chin high. Maybe if she feigned confidence, she could make it through this without crying.

“Hi,” he responded quietly.

“I came here to tell you I’m sorry. About Kane. I should have told you the minute he first texted me-“

Tora bristled at the sound of his name and he cut her off. “That goddamn motherfu-“

Without thinking, she stepped toward him and placed her hands over his mouth. His eyes widened and she could feel his sharp intake of breath against her fingertips. “Please don’t get angry, Tora.”

He stared at her with round eyes. His fingers slipped under her coat sleeves and encircled her forearms. She sucked in her own breath.

She’d been starved for his touch and she was grateful he was holding on to her right now; the feel of his hands on her had almost brought her to her knees. 

He gently pulled her hands down from his face. Water gathered in the corners of her eyes when she spotted her strawberry hair tie wrapped around his wrist and she swore she felt something in her chest crack.

“Close the door,” he murmured. 

She blinked her tears back and pulled her arms away from his grasp. “Oh- ah, sorry.” She pushed the door shut behind her, locking them inside. 

When she turned back around, she saw out of the corner of her eye that the tv on the console table was still broken but now right side up. The speaker was back in place and sitting in front of it was the ZZ plant, its pot haphazardly glued back together. A small, open bag of soil sat on the floor below it, propped against the wall. 

She swallowed hard and looked up into his eyes. “I should have told you when he reached out to me,” she said. “I know that. But you were hanging the painting, you were so _happy_ and I wasn’t going to let him take that from you.”

He said nothing, just continued to stare at her. 

“Every time he messaged me after that, it was about Quincey and his schedule,” she continued. “I didn’t think it was a big deal; I didn’t want to upset you or make you worry. It wasn’t fair of me. I was doing it to protect you, and I had no right to get angry with you for keeping certain things from me when I had a secret of my own. You were doing it to protect me too, right?”

He nodded. “Yeah, but Poppy… yer secret was _nothin’_ compared to the ones I was keepin’ from ya…”

“I don’t care about that,” she said, staring at him pointedly. ”I don’t care that you’re part of this dangerous organization. I _know_ you’re a good man. I _know_ you don’t want any of this. I can live with what you _have_ to do if it means I get to keep you.”

He sighed heavily and ran a hand over the top of his head. “You shouldn’t.”

“Just because I shouldn’t doesn’t mean I _can’t,_ ” she said, echoing his own words back to him.

His mouth tugged up slightly at the corners. 

At this crack in his resolve, she let out a shaky breath and didn’t try to stop the tears from streaking down her face. 

“I love you, Tora. I love you _so much_ and I don’t want to do this without you. If you’ll still have me-“

Before she could finish her thoughts out loud, he had closed the space between them in a single step and fitted his mouth over hers. 

It had only been a few weeks since she’d last kissed him, but it felt like years. His lips felt familiar as they moved against hers, still sweet, soft and warm and she moaned happily into his mouth. Nothing had changed. He was the same.

They were still the same.

She ran the tip of her tongue along his bottom lip and he parted them eagerly, allowing her entrance. When his tongue slicked hot and wet against hers, desire ripped through her like a wildfire. 

It all happened so quickly then. She kissed him harder, firmer and then she was unzipping her winter coat and kicking off her boots. The zipper got stuck about halfway down and she pulled her mouth from him to glance down at it.

The zipper was caught on the metal teeth and she wrenched at it helplessly. “This fudging thing,” she muttered under her breath and then looked up at him. He was smirking at her, his eyes gleaming with humor and want. 

She let go of the zipper and held her arms above her head. Tora chuckled at her and helped tug the coat off her. He threw it to the floor and then he was lifting her up, kissing her feverishly and pinning her into the door. She threw her arms around his neck and wound her legs around his waist, pulling him against her as tightly as she could. 

His mouth left a fiery trail of open-mouthed kisses down her neck and then his lips were hot on her ear. “You think I wouldn’t have ya, Bobby?” he whispered. “Told ya yer stuck with me.”

He didn’t give her a chance to respond; he kissed her with an intensity that left her breathless. He ground his hips against her and she cried out at the feel of him; he was hard as iron and pressing deliciously into her center. But it wasn’t enough. There were far too many pieces of clothing between them and she needed to feel every inch of him. 

Tora kissed Poppy and thrust against her until she was panting into his neck. “The couch,” she whispered. “I want to feel you.”

She didn’t need to tell him twice. 

Almost instantly she was on her back on the worn leather cushions with his weight on top of her. She gripped the hem of his shirt and yanked it off him, flinging it carelessly on the floor. Her fingers were immediately drawn to his bare skin; they frantically skimmed the lines of his muscles, checking, feeling, remembering. 

_He felt so good._

Then he was tugging off her sweater, throwing it over his shoulder and she leaned forward so he could unhook her bra. Once it was off, he held her flush against him, skin on skin, heart to heart. His hands roamed her back, drawing imaginary lines along her spine. 

Before she knew what was happening, he was undoing the buttons on her jeans, unsnapping them and then shimmying her pants down her legs. She kicked them off and then he was standing over her, shoving his sweatpants and boxers off himself. 

Her eyes widened at the sight of him; this was only the second time she’d seen Tora completely naked and now there would be no turning back, no “just sleeping” in her bed. She wanted this, wanted all of him, more than anything. 

Tora hovered over her and bent his head to her chest. She slid her fingers over his scalp and gently pulled his hair from its bun. It cascaded over his shoulders and she raked her hands through it. 

He cupped her breast with his large hand, rubbing one thumb over her nipple while he took the other into his mouth. He rolled his tongue over her sensitive peak and she cried out, arching her back beneath him and pushing herself up into his touch. He did it again and again until she was writhing under him. God, she had missed this so much.

When his hands began to pull at the waistband of her underwear, she stopped him. He glanced up at her with a puzzled look on his face. She shook her head at him and planted both of her hands against either one of his shoulders. “Not yet,” she said, trying to push him off her. “I want to do something for you first.”

His eyebrows shot skyward and his eyes widened beneath them. He pushed himself from the couch and looked down at her. “Where do ya want me?” he asked, his voice rough and low. 

She stood and pointed to the couch cushions. “Lay down.”

Poppy slipped out of her underwear while Tora made himself comfortable on the sofa. He laid back and stretched out as far as the couch would allow. 

She planted one knee between his legs and placed the foot of her other leg on the floor; the concrete was cold and it made her shiver, but she didn’t care. 

She leaned forward as far as she could and kissed him on the mouth, her teeth lightly nipping at his bottom lip. He let out a low groan as she kissed her way down his neck, his chest, his abs and then she was hovering over his hard length. 

Poppy wasn’t _exactly_ sure what she was doing; she’d only gone down on a man once before, but he had seemed to enjoy it at the time. She would start off slowly with what she _did_ know and build him up from there. She wasn’t ready for this to be over too soon, anyway. 

She took him into her hand and began to pump at him with a slow rhythm. A sharp hiss escaped his mouth and she smiled to herself, gradually applying more pressure and speed until his hips were thrusting up to match her movements.

Tentatively, she licked her lips, then poked her tongue out and ran it along the head of his cock. He cried out and she looked up at his face. He was gazing intensely down at her, his eyes hooded with desire. “Poppy…” he rasped. 

His reaction was enough to dissolve the last of her uncertainty and she took him in her mouth in one fluid motion. She stopped stroking him and braced her hands against his thighs as she slowly dragged her mouth over him. 

He was big and she could only take so much of him at a time. His hips bucked against her and she splayed one hand out across his abdomen in a useless attempt to pin him down; she knew her strength was no match for his. He appeared to comprehend what she was doing, though, as his hips stilled under her.

She slid her mouth down his cock in quicker, sloppier motions and then she felt his hands slide through her hair. He held the sides of her head but did not push her down or apply pressure; it seemed to be enough for him just to touch her. 

Poppy continued to bob her head up and down on his length as he moaned and panted raggedly. She had just wrapped her hand back around him when he sat up and clasped his fingers around her shoulders. He pushed himself out from under her and she looked up at him. 

“Turn over,” he said, his voice husky and dark. 

No sooner had she flipped onto her back, his head was between her legs, his hair fanned out in an inky curtain over her thighs. He planted a kiss on the inside of one leg, then the other and her breath hitched with anticipation.

On top of her mound. One on each side of her opening. One on her center. 

Then his tongue flicked against her clit and she cried out. 

This time was not as hurried as the last; they weren’t in the middle of someone else’s kitchen trying to keep quiet. Here she could moan and sob and scream until she lost her voice. She struggled against him as he licked her, desperate to keep up with the movements and thrusts of his tongue. He mimicked her by placing a hand on her belly to keep her still and she reached down to intertwine her fingers with his. 

Waves of pleasure began to rise in her and when he began to pump two fingers inside of her, she arched away from the couch. The pleasure crested and she lost complete control of her senses.

Tears leaked down her face as her orgasm tore through her; one moment she was a bundle of blissful static and tingles and the next, her body was limp on the sofa. 

When she came back to herself, Tora was stretched out over her. His hand was stroking her side and he was pressing kisses to her lips. She kissed him back, tiredly at first and then more eagerly; she opened her mouth to him and she tasted herself on his tongue. 

“Do you have a condom?” she asked against his lips. 

His eyes locked onto hers. “Are ya sure?”

She nodded.

He kissed her one more time and crossed the room to the console table. He plucked a wrapped condom from his wallet and tore the packet open with his teeth. She watched him roll it over himself and then he rejoined her on the sofa. 

Tora cupped her face in his hands and kissed her until she couldn’t breathe. When her hips began to writhe against him, she felt him guide the tip of his cock to her entrance. 

“Ready?” he asked.

Suddenly she was nervous. How did she explain that she’d only kind of, sort of but not really had halfway sex with Julri? Why hadn't they talked about this before? How did she ask him to be careful with her and to go slow, _now_ at the height of everything?

“Bobby, ya good?”

“Um, yeah. I just…”

“S’matter?”

“I’ve just never really done this before?” she said in a rush. 

His face softened. “Oh. Ya haven’t?”

“No. Is… is that okay? I should have said something before. I mean, if it turns you off or you don’t want to-“

“Sweetheart, if ya think I don’t want to, ya obviously haven’t been payin’ attention,” he smirked. “S’fine if yer a virgin and s’fine if you don’t want to.”

A sigh of relief. “No, I want to. I want you so much it _hurts._ Just… will you go slow? And be gentle with me?”

“’Course I will,” he whispered. “I love you, Bobby and I’ll make it good for ya, I promise.”

“I love you, too,” she murmured against his skin. 

He entered her slowly, allowing her time to adjust to the feel of him. He was big and at first, he stretched her to the point of pain. When he sensed her discomfort, he pulled out of her a few inches and gave her a moment to relax before pressing himself into her again. 

He began to thrust into her at a steady pace, deeper and deeper until he was buried up to his base and she felt his groin brush against her. She tried not to let on that it hurt, but the look on her face must have given her away.

When he froze inside of her, she touched a hand to his cheek. “Please keep going,” she pleaded. “Don’t stop, _please._ It won’t hurt forever.” Tora nodded, kissed the palm of her hand and continued his rhythm. 

Gradually she felt her body begin to respond to him. Her resistance gave way as she grew wetter and she became desperate for more friction. When she began to thrust her hips to meet his, he gazed down at her. 

“Feel good?” he rasped out. 

“Yeah,” she said and lifted her legs to wrap them around his waist. He snaked his arms under her back and hugged her to him.

“Tell me if it gets ta be too much,” he said against her ear. She nodded and pressed her mouth to his.

He kissed her back and showed no restraint as he began to pump in and out of her _hard._ He hummed his pleasure against her lips until it was too much and he turned his head away from her to cry out. 

With every thrust he moaned, low and deep and then his mouth was at her ear again. “I love you,” he whispered. “I missed ya _so goddamn much.”_

Poppy wanted to answer him, to tell him that she missed him too, so much that she couldn’t bear to be away from him again, that she never wanted to go home unless he was there.

But they were connected, his body was rolling against her like waves crashing upon the shore and the pleasure was so intense that she couldn’t speak. Instead she pressed a firm, deep kiss to his lips and poured all of herself into it, hoping he would understand. 

He moved inside of her in a frenzy, his hips slamming rapidly into hers and her eyes rolled back. Her mouth was so dry from panting and crying out that she couldn’t even manage to moan when she felt his thumb start rubbing firm circles on her clit.

Her eyes squeezed shut as she at last found release; she arched against him soundlessly as pleasure rippled through her for a second time. 

When she fell back against the cushions, he looked down at her. “Bobby? Did ya come?”

“Y-yeah". 

He gripped her hips then and thrust into her until eventually an orgasm shuddered through him. She felt every pulse as he emptied himself inside of her.

When his breath returned to him, he pulled out and looked her in the eyes. He touched her cheeks gently and smoothed the hair away from her face. “I love you,” he said, his eyes liquid gold. 

She smiled. She'd never get tired of hearing him say it. Ever.

"I love you, too."

He shifted to pull the condom off himself and flung it to the floor carelessly. Then he was wrapping his big arms around her and hugging her tightly to his chest. 

“I’m gonna keep ya safe, Bobby,” he whispered. “Whatever it takes.”


	13. Wounded Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! This update is a little shorter and kinda dialogue heavy, but you get some insight into Tora's past :) I hope you enjoy!
> 
> As always, thank you to everyone for reading, for your support and comments! I appreciate it all more than you know <3
> 
> \---

“And what a beautiful mess this is  
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

And through timeless words and priceless pictures  
We'll fly like birds not of this earth  
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure  
But that's no concern when we're wounded together  
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts  
But it's nice today, oh the wait was so worth it”  
-Jason Mraz, “A Beautiful Mess”

\---

They lay naked together on the couch for quite some time, Tora flat on his back and Poppy along his side with one leg flung over his. He had one arm wrapped around her and drew mindless patterns along her skin with his fingertips. She traced the contours of his chest and listened to the peaceful rise and fall of his breathing. 

It was the most relaxed and content she could remember being in weeks; they were here together with literally nothing between them. No layers of clothes or secrets kept tucked away. Though she couldn’t deny she was paranoid, waiting every second for the call to come through on his phone that would rip him away from her again.

She closed her eyes and tried not to focus on that; here, right now, in this moment, his boss didn’t exist. There was no Quincey and no Kane; just the two of them basking in the glow of their reunion. 

Poppy opened her eyes as Tora yawned and stretched, reaching his arms out above his head. He brought his right arm around her again and his left hand intertwined with hers across his broad chest. 

It had been two weeks since he’d last held her hand and she marveled at the size of it, how easy it was for him to engulf her tiny fist into his own. Poppy wasn’t certain what his hands had been forced to do or what _exactly_ they were capable of. All she knew for sure was that these were the hands that had typed his number into her phone, held her own hands tenderly, touched her face like it was made of glass and brought her to heights of pleasure that she’d never known before him. 

She slowly pulled their fingers apart and splayed her hand out in the air above them. “Put your hand against mine,” she said. 

He did, spacing his fingers out until they lined up with hers. Her palm took up only half the space of his and her fingertips rested just above his second knuckle. 

“You’re so _big,”_ she murmured against his chest. 

“Bet yer ass, sweetheart.” She didn’t have to look at him to know he was smirking. 

She swatted lightly at his shoulder and he laughed. “You old perv. I mean it. You’re so big, kind of like… larger than life?” She nuzzled her face into his shoulder. “Why are you so much bigger than me, Mr. Six Foot Three?”

He curled the tops of his fingers over hers. “I dunno, just got a big body. Been this way since I was a kid. Why are ya so much smaller than me, Miss Five Foot Nothing?”

She scowled at him and pulled her hand from his to pinch his cheek. “Hey, I’m five foot something!”

He caught her hand in his fist and the next thing she knew, she was on her back looking up at him. He was so _fast._ “Yer somethin’, all right,” he chuckled. “One feisty lil’ hamster.”

She laughed with him; she’d never been so happy to be compared to a chubby little rodent in all her life. “And you’re a bully,” she giggled, attempting to wriggle out from under him. “Have you been that way since you were a kid, too?”

Tora caged her with his arms and held onto her tightly. “I was a fuckin’ delinquent. Ya woulda _hated_ me,” he teased. 

“I’m sure I would’ve been scared of you,” she said, finally relaxing and giving up on escaping his grip. “I was the complete opposite as a kid. I was a huge nerd and got anxious if grown-ups weren’t around.”

“Pfft. So lame, Bobby,” he mumbled and she felt him smile against her cheek. 

“Well, not all of us could be cool kids like you and Quincey.”

He laughed. “Quincey? That fuckin’ princess? He was never cool. He was a little crybaby piece of shit, always tattlin’ on me and Goliath. Guess I coulda been nicer to him, though,” he said thoughtfully. 

She cocked her head at him. “Goliath?”

He lifted his head and looked down at her, all humor gone. “S’my brother. My _real_ brother.” 

Poppy touched her palm to his cheek. “I’m sorry, Tora. You don’t have to-“

“Nah, s’fine. Think I got a picture of all of us somewhere if ya wanna see.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “Sure. I’d love to.” And she meant it; she would seize any opportunity to learn more about him. 

Tora pressed a quick kiss to her lips before pushing off her and crossing the floor to where the single cardboard box sat against the wall. She turned over on her side and watched as he rummaged through the carton. 

She soaked in the sight of his bare body as it curled over the box and the muscles rippling in his arms as he carefully shifted things around inside it. He was big and powerful, but also so gentle, _fragile_ even. A sheep in wolf’s clothing. 

She didn’t care what the world saw when they looked at him. Poppy knew who he really was and she would spend the rest of her life trying to get _him_ to see it, too. 

Once he’d found what he was looking for, he rejoined her on the couch, stretching out on his back. She curled up under his arm and stared at the old Polaroid he held out in front of them. 

At first glance, she saw only six boys in the photo; five stood outside of a white van on an old country road and the sixth sat behind the steering wheel. The phrase “Ares Street Kingz” was scribbled across the bottom border of the photo in faded, graffiti like font. 

Poppy shuddered internally at those words; when she first moved into her apartment, her landlord had warned her to steer clear of Ares Street. It was a dangerous place. 

“I’m sure I don’t gotta tell ya which one’s Quincey,” he finally said.

Her eyes zeroed in on the blonde boy in the tropical plant print shirt. “No, he’s… pretty easy to spot,” she giggled. “Where are you?”

Tora tapped at the spot just behind Quincey. A boy with olive skin and gauges in his ears was bent over, offering his hand to a little girl sitting on the road; it looked like maybe she had fallen and scraped her knee. 

“That’s you?” she breathed. “Helping that little girl?”

“Yeah. Happened right before we took the picture. I was standin’ on the other side of Quincey when I heard her cryin’ behind us. She was ridin’ her bike and caught some loose gravel. Went over to make sure she was okay.”

Poppy squeezed him and planted a big kiss on his cheek. “Pretty sweet, coming from a delinquent,” she teased. 

“Ya don’t know the half of it,” he murmured. 

Something about his response unsettled her; it made her wonder how young he really was before his boss forced him into violence. 

“So,” she said, trying not to wallow on that particular part of his past, “who are the other boys?”

He started from the right side of the picture. “Guy drivin’ is Ronzo. The van was his. Then Arlo, Goliath, Comer and… Kane.” She felt him stiffen beneath her. 

She peered at the photo closely: she studied Goliath first, trying to spot any resemblances between him and Tora. Then she moved on to Kane. His arm was thrown around Quincey and his head was turned back to Tora; it looked like he was yelling something at him over his shoulder. 

“What was Kane saying to you? Do you remember?” she asked. 

He nodded. “Was yellin’ at me ta stop bein’ a pussy and get my ass back in the picture. Said the bitch would survive and if she didn’t, it wasn’t our problem.”

Anger coursed through Poppy. “He said you were being a… a p-word for trying to _help_ someone? What’s wrong with him? Why would he even say something so awful? If I ever get my hands on that _fudging-“_

Tora lightly placed his hand over her mouth. “Don’t get angry, ‘kay? I’m dealin’ with Kane, sweetheart. You just worry about avoidin’ him.”

Poppy found herself feeling torn by his words; on the one hand, she felt relieved. She trusted him and knew he would never let anything happen to her. On the other, she worried about what he meant by “dealing with Kane.” Was he really capable of doing something to this man who had, at some point in his life, been his friend? 

She pulled his hand away from her mouth. “Tora? What does Kane have against you? Why would he do something so… so… horrible to you and your brother?”

“Kane’s always been insecure ‘bout his place in life. I was sworn into the clan at an early age ‘cuz my boss _saw_ somethin’ in me, or so he says. Kane resented me for it; thought it was the coolest thing to be mafia.” 

Tora shook his head. “I didn’t want any part of it, but I didn’t have a choice. He didn’t get the Balthuman brand ‘til about four years ago. Been tryin’ to prove himself to Vincent ever since.”

“So that’s why he set you up?”

He nodded. “Thinks I’m soft and don’t have what it takes to properly serve Vincent and the rest of the clan.”

She sat quietly as she absorbed all the information he was now freely offering her. “So how did you know it was Kane that set you up?”

“Day of the deal, the load passed through me ‘n Goliath’s hands. Men doin’ the drop are s’posed to be the only ones handlin’ it. Claude pulled us aside to go over some last-minute bullshit detail changes and Kane offered to stack the drugs in the van so we didn’t run late. He was the last one to touch ‘em.”

“So, when you got there… you were short?”

“Mmmhmm. Buyers were furious, said we fucked ‘em over and drew their guns on us. We didn’t, was all there when we packed it. But they didn’t give a shit about that. There was some arguin’ and then one of ‘em… popped a shot off into my brother. Cops raided the place a minute later and arrested everyone.”

Tears flooded down Poppy’s cheeks. “Tora, I’m sorry. I’m _so sorry._ If I had any idea, I wouldn’t have ever gotten into the car with him. I wouldn’t have given him the time of day. I- I _betrayed_ you by trusting the man who got your brother kil-“

Tora wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her tightly against him. “Hey, sweetheart, s’okay. Ya didn’t know and I shoulda told ya from the start. Don’t blame yerself.” He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

“Ya gotta big heart and try ta see the good in everyone. It’s one of the things I love most about ya.”

She sniffled. “Well, sometimes it fails me big time. Isn’t there something we can do? Have you talked to Quincey?”

She felt him nod. “Tried. Quince is so outta touch with things in the clan and how they work; s’how his dad wanted it. He shielded him from a lot.”

“Who’s his dad?”

“My boss. Vincent.”

Her eyes widened. 

_Quincey was in the clan._

Not only that, he was the son of the Balthuman leader. 

But he wrote _smut_ for a living! He had the weakest stomach of anyone she’d ever met. Quincey couldn’t hurt a fly, even if he wanted to. 

“But wouldn’t Quincey help you?” she asked once her voice returned to her. “You’re practically brothers.”

“Quincey’s the reason I only did a year in prison. Judge wanted ten minimum with my record, but I had a damn good lawyer.”

“And Quincey trusts Kane?”

“Yeah. Kane’s got that princess twisted ‘round his finger. He’s a manipulative fuck and Quincey believes everythin’ he says. Kane’s also buddies with high ranking clan members like Martin, so he’s got credibility.”

Tora sighed. “Quincey thinks it was just a drug deal gone wrong. Said he couldn’t believe I messed up so bad and to leave him outta my beef with Kane.”

“Well, _I’ll_ help you,” she said, sitting up and facing him. “Maybe I can help you think of a way to get out of this altogether. Just tell me what to do.”

He leaned forward and kissed her. “So feisty,” he chuckled against her lips. “The only thing ya gotta do is keep pretendin’ we’re not seein’ each other, so nothin’ looks off.”

“But I-“

“Shhh. Just trust me. I’m gonna handle it. Kay?”

“Okay. I trust you.”

“Good.” He stood and offered his hand to her. “C’mon, sweetheart. Lemme take ya home.”

Her response was instant. “Will you stay the night?”

He chuckled. “Try’n stop me.”

\---

They stopped for food on the way home and when they crossed her parking lot, Tora approached the dimly lit guard booth. He knocked on the window and called out. “Oi, Ronzo!”

Poppy scurried over to his side and yanked on his coat sleeve. “Tora! What are you doing? His name is Gyu. I met him last week and…”

Gyu appeared at the window and lifted it open. “What’s goin’ on, big bro?” He nodded in her direction. “Hey, Poppy.”

Confused, she waved at him slowly. 

“Brought ya take out from that damn diner ya like so much,” Tora said and held one of the bags out to him.

Gyu accepted it happily. “Hey, man, thanks! I haven’t had a chance to step away for dinner yet. That was real nice of ya-“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eat up,” Tora said, raking his hand through his hair. “Then it’s back ta work.”

“You got it, bro,” he said and shoveled a handful of fries into his mouth. 

As they approached her front door, Poppy turned to her boyfriend sharply. “Ronzo?” she hissed. “Your friend with the van?”

Tora smirked down at her. “Nah. Doesn’t have the van anymore. Got a truck now.”

“So not the point, mister!” she cried and poked a finger at his chest. “When- how.. why is he working here?”

“Called him that night ya left. Job opened up the next day and Ronzo took it. Just coverin’ my bases, Bobby,” Tora said as he stepped into the building. “Told ya I’d make sure ya were safe whatever it takes and I meant it.” 

Poppy stood in the doorway, unsure of what to say. What happened to the old security guard, Trevor? Mrs. Haru said something about a confrontation in the parking lot one afternoon, but Poppy hadn't heard anything. Did Trevor leaving have something to do with that? Did Tora? It was a little scary to think about. What _wouldn't_ he do to keep her safe-

Tora's voice broke through her thoughts. "Ya comin', sweetheart?" he asked, reaching a hand out to her. "Don't want ya catchin' a cold."

She stared hard at him for a moment, soaked in the sight of his long hair hanging loose around his shoulders and she caught a glimpse of the tattoo on his neck, the brand that had been forced on him at ten years old. 

She looked into his striking amber eyes and then her gaze lowered to his warm smile, his dimples.

His large hands, always reaching for hers.

The strawberry hair tie still on his wrist, poking out from the sleeve of his jacket.

Poppy returned his smile, placed her hand in his and walked inside.


	14. A Dagger and A Shield

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you all like this next chapter; it has a little bit more dialogue with a dash of smut ;) Don't worry, shit's going to hit the fan soon enough. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone for your continued reading, support and comments! This story has taken on a life of its own and I'm thrilled so many of you enjoy it <3 
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“And I wanna be free  
Wind in my hair  
Salt on my skin  
Sun in the air  
I have to feel love  
Holding on me  
I'll give you everything that you would ever need”  
-Gavin DeGraw, “Free”

\---

Once they were inside her apartment, Tora closed and locked the front door behind them, then made a beeline for her balcony door. 

“I don’t keep that door open if I’m not here,” Poppy assured him. “I promise.”

He pulled on it anyway and nodded his approval when he realized it was locked. “Ya can never be too careful, Bobby,” he said. “I’m gonna get ya some better locks for both doors and install grilles on this glass one.”

“Oh, um, I don’t know if my landlord would like you just making changes…”

He crossed the room to stand in front of her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Don’t ya worry about that. I’ll talk to her. I can be _very_ charming,” he smirked. 

She raised her eyebrows. “What are you going to do? Corner her in her kitchen and take off your shirt?”

He laughed. “Nah, I save that fer cute little hamsters.”

She smiled up at him. “Good.”

\---

After they divvied out their food from the diner, they sat down across from each other at the dining table. As she lifted her fish sandwich to her face, she stole a glance at him. His big body was hunched over her little table and he looked contemplative as he took a bite of his burger. 

Sharing dinner with him again felt new but familiar; it was safe, comfortable and _right._ If someone had asked her a week ago what she thought tonight would look like, she would have said anything but this. To see him here, once again taking up space in her apartment, she finally felt like she was home. 

But despite the warm, fuzzy feeling in her chest, she couldn’t help but be curious about what _exactly_ he had done to land Gyu the job as her security guard. Did he hurt Trevor? Did he have someone _else_ hurt-

The sound of Tora’s voice interrupted her thoughts. 

“Stop watchin’ me eat, Bobby. It’s rude.”

Startled, she looked away. "I’m sorry,” she squeaked. 

He chuckled. “I’m just teasin’ ya. I like when ya look at me.” 

When she didn’t turn her head to meet his gaze, he spoke again. “Hey.”

She looked at him then; his eyes were soft, his eyebrows furrowed. “Somethin’ on yer mind?”

“Ah, yeah, actually,” she said carefully. “It’s just… Trevor. You know, the old security guard?”

He set his burger down in front of him. “Mmmhmm.”

“You didn’t, um… did you or did you have someone else, uh…”

“Ya askin’ if I hurt him to get Ronzo that job?”

She looked down at her hands. “Yes,” she whispered.

“Bobby, hey. Look at me.” She glanced up and saw his hands reaching for hers across the table. She held onto them tightly. 

“I don’t _like_ ta hurt people. Ya need to always remember that about me. Okay?” She nodded. She knew that already, but it felt good to hear him say it again. “And as fer Trevor, that prick was shit at his job. When he wasn’t sleepin’ or playin’ on his damn phone, he was cheatin’ on his wife. Right there in the booth, while he was s’posed ta be on duty.”

“But… how did you know that?”

“Ronzo. He’s into all that techy shit and he’s got eyes everywhere. Told me all about him. I couldn’t have that fuck in charge of yer safety, so I decided ta move Ronzo in.”

She nodded slowly. “So… what did you do?”

“I waited ‘til I saw his lil’ girlfriend show up and then jumped the wall. He came over ta yell at me and I mighta mentioned I knew where he lived, who his wife was and even the name of his fuckin’ toy poodle. Told him I wouldn’t tell a soul ‘bout the shit he was pullin’ if he quit his job on the spot.”

“So you didn’t hurt him?” she breathed. 

“Nah. Told ya, I don’t like ta hurt anyone. I only do it if I absolutely have to. And he was a fuckin’ asshole, but he didn’t deserve _that.”_

She sighed deeply. “Okay.”

He squeezed her hands gently. “Bobby, there’ll be times in my line of work when I’m forced ta hurt people. Whether it’s Vincent barkin’ at me to do it or it’s someone threatenin’ _you._ Just know that whatever the case may be, I don’t wanna do it, but I will if it means keepin’ ya safe. Yer the most important thing in the world ta me. Ya understand?”

She squeezed his hands back. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

And she meant it. Because she felt the same way about him. 

She saw the looks people gave him on the street, at the movies, even at the diner earlier that night. Like he was pure danger, merely a force to be reckoned with. They didn’t see the person underneath, the soft, gentle, caring soul he was. More than once she’d wanted to slap someone for staring at him too closely or kick them in the groin when they approached him for looking suspicious. 

When she’d first had impulses to physically hurt someone who threatened her boyfriend, she was a little afraid of herself. She’d never wanted to defend Julri; she always thought it was just best to avoid confrontation. But Tora? She didn’t think there was much she _wouldn’t_ do for him. 

Maybe that’s what love was, real love. Heck, even her granny had told her on multiple occasions she would “beat a hooligan’s ass” if they ever gave her granddaughter trouble. True love was unconditional and loyal, protecting and defending the people you cared about, no matter what. 

“I love you,” she told him and ran her thumbs over his large knuckles. 

He flashed his dimples at her. “I love ya, too.”

\---

Once they’d cleared away their trash from dinner, she showered while he made a phone call. When she stepped out of the bathroom in her silky, floral robe, he was checking the living room doors again. 

“All good?” she asked him quietly. 

“Yeah,” he said. His back was to her as he tugged lightly on the sliding door. “I check ‘em twice. Always have.”

“Not a bad idea,” she replied. “I’m done in the bathroom if you want to shower. I set a clean towel out on the counter for you. There’s a spare toothbrush, too.”

“Thanks, Bob-“ he turned around and paused, his eyes wide. 

He was looking at her _hard_ and she could feel heat rising in her cheeks. “Don’t stare, it’s rude,” she teased. 

“Sorry, s’just…” He walked over and stood in front of her. He reached out for the belt of her robe and slid it between his pointer and middle fingers. “Are ya wearin’ anythin’ under this?” he breathed.

She smirked up at him. “Nope.”

“Good. Keep it that way.” He leaned down and kissed her. “When I’m outta the shower, yer all mine.”

\---

Ten minutes later, Poppy was waiting naked under the covers for him. When Tora was finished, he emerged into her bedroom with nothing but a towel around his waist. For a long moment he said nothing, just stared at her with hooded eyes while water dripped from his long hair. 

Finally, he dropped the towel to the floor and beckoned to her with his finger. “C’mere,” he said and tapped the foot of the bed. 

She shook her head quickly and pushed the covers off her body. “No, you come here,” she said, patting the space next to her. 

He tapped the bed again. “I said _come here.”_

“And I said come up _here,”_ she responded, slapping her palm down on the mattress. 

He smirked. “Enough playin’ for ya,” he growled and grasped his hands around her ankles. She squealed and kicked playfully at him as he dragged her across the sheets to the edge of the bed. 

Once he had her where he wanted her, he dropped to his knees on the floor and pressed his mouth against her wet opening. Poppy let out a low moan as his tongue slicked against her folds and then his hands were under her thighs, pushing them up as he encouraged her to wrap them around his shoulders. 

She obliged eagerly and her eyes screwed shut as his tongue dove into her deeper; this new angle was _interesting_ and he was touching her in all the right places. He continued to thrust inside of her, hot, slick and firm, and then he dragged his teeth lightly over her clit. 

Poppy’s back arched off the mattress and her hands flew into his wet hair. He did it again and again and _again_ until she was writhing uncontrollably under his mouth. When she felt the tips of his fingers teasing at her entrance, she gasped. “ _Please,”_ she groaned. 

He slid one finger inside of her, then added a second. He pumped into her hard and fast and just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, he sucked her clit into his mouth.

Poppy came undone around him, arching soundlessly off the mattress, her thighs shuddering hard against his face. When she dropped back down to the bed, breathless and light-headed, he was crossing the room and grabbing a condom from his discarded pants. 

She watched with heavy eyes as he rolled it onto himself and then rejoined her on the bed. “Scoot up, sweetheart,” he murmured and she shifted herself up to the middle. She felt the mattress dip beneath his weight and then he was hovering over her, guiding his cock into her slowly. 

“Feel okay?” he whispered as he pushed himself in a little deeper. 

“Y-yeah,” she breathed and closed her eyes at the sensation of having him inside of her again. She was a little sore from earlier, but she wasn’t about to tell him that. She _needed_ this and didn’t want Tora to hold himself back. 

He rocked himself harder against her and when she opened her eyes, he was staring down at her face. She smiled up at him and he cupped one hand behind her head, lifting it to meet his. He kissed her firmly and his tongue slipped inside her mouth, where she could taste herself on him. 

He continued to slam into her and eventually tore his mouth from hers to cry out. “ _Fuck,_ Poppy, ya feel so goddamn good,” he rasped. It was the sexiest thing in the world, hearing him moan her name in the throes of passion. 

She wrapped her legs around his back and hooked her ankles together, drawing him in closer, deeper. He let out a low growl and nipped at her neck, then lowered his head to her breast. He tugged her nipple into his mouth and bit it gently. She rocked against him at the sensation and he wound one arm around her shoulders to hold her to him. 

He dragged himself out of her slowly, inch by inch, then drove his entire length back into her. Her body racked against him and she let out a long, low moan. He took note of this and repeated the motion over and over again until she cried out his name. She was just about _there_ when he stilled above her and then she felt the pulse of his cock as he spilled himself inside of her. 

Tora collapsed at her side, breathing hard. “Sorry, Bobby,” he muttered. “Was tryin’ to get ya to come again and then ya yelled my name and I-“

She placed a palm over his mouth. “It’s okay,” she assured him. “I’m fi-“

Her words died in her throat as he plunged two fingers into her. She groaned and writhed against his hand. He thrust and pumped and rubbed at her clit until eventually she was arching off the bed again and losing herself to a second orgasm. 

When they caught their breaths, Tora leaned over and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Gonna go clean myself off, be right back.” He pushed himself off the bed and shuffled into the bathroom. 

Poppy stood up and fixed the comforter on the bed before slipping back under it. Her body felt heavy, spent, satisfied and she wondered briefly what she had done to deserve this big, beautiful man and the things he did to her. 

He reappeared a moment later and turned off the light before sliding into the bed next to her. He stretched out on his back and his arm lay pillowed under her head. He lightly traced a line from the top of her shoulder down her arm and she sighed contentedly. Could it always be like this?

 _Was it possible for them?_

“Tora?” 

“Mmm?” he mumbled as he slid his fingers through her hair.

“Do you think you could ever… get out?”

He cleared his throat. “Get out... you mean outta the clan?”

“Yeah.”

“I dunno, Poppy. I think about it a lot, but I don’t know if it’s possible unless…”

Her breath hitched in her throat. “Unless what?” she whispered.

He sighed. “Unless ya dead.”

Poppy whimpered. “Tora…”

“Look, sweetheart, I’ve ran it through my head a million times. Ya know what I wouldn’t give to be able ta hold yer hand while we’re walkin’ down the street and _not_ have to look over my shoulder? I don’t want this life for ya, fer us. But it is what it is.”

“But… there has to be _something_ we can do. Anything. It can’t just be life or death.”

He paused. “Well, maybe there’s somethin’… s’not a guarantee, but it could be a start.”

She propped herself onto her elbow and looked at him. “What? What is it?”

“Goliath, before he died, said he wanted outta the clan. He hated Vincent fer the way he raised me and he was gonna bring him down. Just thought it was a bunch of talk; my brother had little man syndrome. He was short and made up for it with his mouth.”

Poppy wanted to ask what Vincent had done to him but decided better of it and allowed him to continue.

“Goliath said he had hard evidence of illegal clan dealings, meetings with politicians and a list of names that could bring Balthuman down. Said he was gonna form a rival clan and stick it to Vincent nine ways to Sunday. Was gonna call it the Ninedaggers.”

Poppy thought a moment. “Do you know what _kind_ of evidence he might have had? Like tape recordings, videos, notes or…”

“Well, he always carried a notebook with him. Betcha anythin’ he had it all written down.”

“Okay. So this evidence… do you know where it might be?”

Tora shrugged. “Never really thought much of it, ta be honest. Like I said, my brother was a mouthy lil’ shit. But… I do have the keys ta his old hide out. It’s an apartment down on Ares Street. Been payin’ the rent on it since he died. Never could seem ta let go of it.”

“Well, that’s something, Tora. I can help you look for it.”

“No,” he said firmly. “I don’t want ya in the middle of this. Ares Street is no place for ya.”

Poppy cupped her hand under his chin and forced him to look at her. “Hey. We’re in this together now and we’re going to get out of it _together.”_

He smiled and pulled her close to him. “Yer not gonna take no fer an answer, are ya?”

She shook her head. “Nope. And if you refuse to take me, I’ll ask my new friend Ronzo to find out where it is and drive me there.”

“Ronzo knows better than ta cross me.”

“Fine. Then I’ll head down to Ares Street on my own and ask around. I’m sure someone will know where it is.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “How’s it that a woman so cute ‘n little as you can be so damn feisty?”

“When you’re cute and little, you can get away with just about anything.”

He barked out a laugh. “All right, Bobby, ya win. We’ll head down there in the middle of the day, take Ronzo with us and turn the place upside down.”

Satisfied, she laid back down and cuddled close to him. “Good.”

She closed her eyes and was just on the verge of sleep when Tora murmured to her in the dark. 

“Bobby?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry I broke that pot ya gave me. I never meant fer it to happen.”

She yawned and leaned over to kiss him gently on the lips. “It’s okay, Tora. I can get you a new one.”

“Don’t want a new one. I managed ta glue some of the pieces back together, but don’t think I did such a good job. Will ya help me finish it?”

She nodded heavily against his shoulder. “We’ll fix it,” she mumbled before sleep overtook her. “I promise you, we’ll fix it.”


	15. See You Through

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the most wonderful daaaaaaay of the week! Happy MPL Update Day, everyone! 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter; in the words of Michael Scott, "Oh my god, something is happening." Things are finally moving and I'm excited to be getting into this part of the story! 
> 
> With that being said, my husband and I are in the middle of unexpectedly moving into another house, so updates may be a bit erratic or shorter than normal. But writing this story is constantly in the back of my mind and I'm always itching to return to it! Apologies in advance for any interruptions and thanks for sticking with me through it! 
> 
> The biggest shout out EVER to everyone who has been here since the beginning and to everyone here reading for the first time. Your time, support, comments and encouragement mean the WORLD to me <3
> 
> Have a great weekend!
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“I'll stand by you.  
I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt you,  
I'll stand by you, baby, even in your darkest hour,  
And I'll never desert you  
I'll stand by you”  
-The Pretenders, “I’ll Stand By You”

\---

For the first time in weeks, Poppy slept hard through most of the night. Being curled up next to Tora’s warm body, knowing he was safe and real and _here_ in her bed had lulled her into a dreamless, peaceful rest. 

Around three o’clock in the morning, however, she felt him slide off the bed. Her cheek had been pressed against his hard chest and she mewled in protest at his movements. “Where are you going?” she mumbled hazily. “Is everything okay?”

Tora pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Everythin’s fine, sweetheart. Gotta go downstairs ‘n talk ta Ronzo real quick. Gonna take your keys so I can lock the door behind me, okay? I’ll be right back, I promise.”

Still not convinced this wasn’t part of some strange dream, she laid her head down on the pillow. “Just, mmm- be careful, okay?”

“Always am.”

She wasn’t sure what time it was when he finally returned to bed. She heard the door click open and could vaguely make out his broad shape as he moved into the room. He shuffled out of his clothes and slipped under the comforter beside her. Poppy reached for him eagerly, desperate for his warmth. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tight against his body. 

She sighed, relieved he was back. “Everything okay? Are you all right?”

He kissed her hair. “S’okay, Bobby. Sorry I woke ya. Ronzo had somethin’ ready fer me, so I went and picked it up. Go back to sleep.”

“What was it?”

“I’ll tell ya in the mornin’, kid. _Now go to sleep.”_

\---

Poppy rose from bed at eight the next morning and when she glanced over at her boyfriend, he was sprawled out on his stomach, dead to the world with his arms pillowing his head. As she took in his slumbering form, she wondered when he’d last had a good night of uninterrupted sleep. She shrugged her silk robe on and smiled softly at him. She decided to let him rest; she would surprise him with breakfast and a mug of green tea when he was ready to wake up. 

Tora finally emerged from the bedroom at nine thirty, bleary eyed and wearing nothing but his boxers. Poppy was hovered over the stove, scrambling eggs and frying bacon when she felt his strong arms slip around her waist. 

“Mornin’,” he mumbled as he planted a kiss on the top of her head. 

“Good morning,” she said cheerily and stroked his arms with one hand. “There’s hot water in the kettle if you want a cup of tea and breakfast should be ready in a couple of minutes. Go make yourself comfy and I’ll bring you a plate.”

“Damn, Bobby. Ya didn’t have ta go to all this trouble,” he yawned. “I coulda picked somethin’ up for us at a cafe. Or… were ya just that excited to cook fer me again?”

She could _hear_ the smirk on his face. “It’s not trouble. I love cooking for you,” she admitted. “It feels good. Now, get your tea and go sit down. On the double, mister.”

“Pfft. Whatever ya say, boss.”

Ten minutes later, they were seated at the table across from each other. Tora had wolfed down two servings of eggs and extra bacon while Poppy watched him from over the rim of her mug. They’d shared several meals together before, but this one was different. It was Saturday morning; they’d woken up together and were lazily enjoying each other’s company while they sipped at their green tea. 

It felt cozy and sweet, like the mornings she used to share with her dad before he passed away. She wondered if Tora ever had a family breakfast in his life. She highly doubted Quincey’s dad brought home donuts for them to share or taken him out to a diner for early morning pancakes… 

Poppy’s domestic bubble was burst by the next words that came out of Tora’s mouth. “So, talked ta Ronzo last night,” he said, wiping his face with a napkin. “His shift today doesn’t start ‘til six. If ya don’t have any plans, we can run down ta my brother’s old apartment and look for that notebook.”

A pang of disappointment poked her in the chest. She hadn’t expected him to want to go so soon. She’d just gotten him _back_ and sort of wanted to relax with him today, have lazy sex on the couch and watch a movie on Netflix. Take a nap, make dinner together and pretend that the world he lived in didn’t exist, if only for a Saturday. 

“Really? Today?”

“Yeah, it’s small and shouldn’t take more than a couple hours ta do a thorough search.”

She thought on it for a moment and then nodded slowly. The quicker they found that notebook, the quicker they could work on getting him out. “Okay, I don’t have any plans. What time were you thinking?”

“Ah, dunno. Maybe noon? Gives Ronzo plenty of time before he has ta clock in.”

“Okay, sounds good. And speaking of Ronzo… what did he have ready for you last night?” she asked.

“Motion detector. Installed it in the tree outside ya balcony,” he said plainly, as if she’d asked him about the weather.

 _One day. One day, maybe I’ll get used to hearing him talk like this._

“So… so you were climbing my tree at three in the morning?” she asked, eyes wide. 

“Yeah. Didn’t want anyone seein’ me do it. Ronzo can’t be in the guard booth every second of his life and until I can get ya some better locks and grilles, it’ll do. I just want ya safe, Bobby,” he said, raising an eyebrow at her. 

At this sentiment, she smiled. She did feel safe with him around and it warmed her that he cared _so much._ “So how’s it work? It’s not going to be filming me… is it?”

Tora chuckled and shook his head. “I may be a perv for ya, Bobby, but I respect ya. Doesn’t have camera or audio. Just sends an alert to my phone if there's movement on ya balcony.”

She smiled. “I know you respect me, Tora. And thank you for everything you do to make sure I’m safe.”

 _Those dimples._ “’Course, Bobby. I love ya and I’m gonna take care of ya.” He stood up and went to clear the dishes from the table, but paused when she placed a hand on his arm. 

“Leave them,” she said as heat rose to her cheeks. 

“This again? Ya cooked, I can clean ‘em.”

“No, that’s fine, you can clean them later. I just… um, do you want to take a shower?”

He smirked at her. “Showered last night, sweetheart. Whatcha really askin’?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You _know_ what I’m asking, Tora.”

“I know. Just wanna hear ya say it.”

“Do you want to take a shower _with me?”_

Poppy didn’t have a second to think; the next thing she knew, he’d rounded the table and thrown her over his shoulder, smacking her on her bottom as he carried her down the hall. 

\--- 

At 12:45 that afternoon, Poppy and Ronzo were sitting in Tora’s old beater car in an alley somewhere on Ares Street. Her boyfriend had parked and told them to stay put until they got a text from him saying it was all clear to head inside.

When Tora had exited the car, she’d caught sight of the butt of a handgun poking out from his jeans. She’d said nothing, just swallowed hard and stared out the window at the dingy street. 

Even though it was the middle of the day, the alley was shadowed and dark. Graffiti covered most of the surfaces of the buildings and half smoked cigarettes littered the concrete. Several windows had been busted on the building across from Goliath’s apartment and from what she could see inside, it looked abandoned and coated with dust. 

_How could anyone live here? Live like this?_

“I’m sorry, Poppy,” Ronzo said from the back seat. 

She turned around and looked at him. “What for?”

“For trickin’ ya,” he said, clutching his laptop tightly to his chest. “I woulda told ya who I really was when I first met ya, but Big Bro made me promise not to. Said it would be safer.”

She offered him a small smile. “It’s okay, Ronzo. I understand why you couldn’t.”

He smiled back. “Thanks.” He paused for a moment and then said, “Can I ask you somethin’?”

“Sure.”

“Would ya mind callin’ me Gyu?”

“Oh. Um, of course. Can I ask why? Do you not like Ronzo?”

He shrugged. “Nah. It’s a dumb nickname and I’ve had it since I was a kid. Never really cared for it.”

“Who gave it to you?”

“Kane.”

Poppy bristled. “Do you not like him, either?”

“Nah. Don’t like how he treats people.”

“Me either.” 

They sat in silence for a moment and then Poppy asked, “Have you ever asked Tora not to call you Ronzo?”

He shook his head. “Big Bro can call me whatever he wants. I owe my life ta him. Besides, I know he don’t mean anythin’ bad by it. Just habit.”

She furrowed her brows at him. “What do you mean, you owe your life to Tor-“

Her phone beeped. 

A message from Tiger. 

_all’s clear, come on up. Ronzo knows the way._

\--- 

The inside of Goliath’s apartment was not in much better condition than the alley they’d been sitting in. There was an old, worn green couch shoved up against one wall and a chest of drawers sat beside it. An ugly, stained flannel rug covered the floor under their feet and there were cigarette butts and empty soda and beer cans everywhere. Every surface looked coated with dust and there was a lonely, beat up bookcase along the opposite wall that separated the living space from the kitchen. 

Once they’d all settled inside, Tora gave instructions. “Okay, I’m gonna tackle the kitchen and bedroom. Ronzo, ya wanna go through his desk? Poppy, ya good with searchin’ the livin’ room?” 

They nodded.

“Good. Now, I’m gonna say this. My brother was a clever lil’ shit. This notebook of his could be anywhere, so don’t hold back. Turn the damn rooms upside down. I don’t care if ya gotta cut into cushions or flip furniture. Understand?” Gyu nodded again and disappeared down the hall, laptop in tow. 

“Tora?” Poppy said. 

“Yeah, Bobby?”

“We’re going to find it, okay? I know we are.”

He threw a small smile at her. “I believe ya, kid.” 

“Do you have something for me to cut into the couch with?”

“Yeah, brought yer box cutter with me,” he said and dug it out of his pocket. He handed it to her. “Hope ya don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “Now, get going, mister. On the double.”

\---

Poppy looked _everywhere_ for that fudging notebook. 

She cut into every sofa cushion and removed all of the stuffing. She’d cleared out the dresser and once it was empty, she flipped it over and checked the bottom and all the sides. She’d rolled the rug up and got down on her hands and knees on the floor searching for loose boards or latches that might be attached to a door. 

She then dragged an old wooden chair and a broom from the kitchen and poked at the tiles in the ceiling. She hoped to spot the notebook either secured to a tile or watch as it toppled down to the floor, but it never did.

She’d remembered from reading Nancy Drew as a kid that sometimes people would cut shapes out into the pages of books and hide items inside of them. She went through every book and comic on Goliath’s bookshelf, checked the bottom of the shelves for anything that might be taped there and opened a deck of poker cards and then put them back. Nothing. There was nothing. 

She could distantly hear Tora grunting in the bedroom as he flipped the bed over and Gyu had been relatively quiet for the past hour. She hoped one of them would have better luck than her. 

Another hour later, Gyu came and sat on what was left of the couch, a disappointed expression clouding his thin face. “Nothing?” she asked quietly. 

He shook his head. “Took that desk clean apart. Didn’t find anythin’, just some old electric bills and chewed up cables.”

Poppy sighed and plopped herself down next to Gyu. “It has to be here somewhere. It _has_ to be. It could be his ticket out, Gyu. It’s his only chance.”

He nodded. “I know. I want it for him just as much as anyone.”

Tora came storming down the hallway then, sweaty and huffing. “Anythin’?” he asked. 

“I’m sorry, Big Bro. We didn’t find nothin’,” Gyu said, unable to look at him. 

Tora met her eyes then and she looked at him sadly. “Tora… just because we didn’t find it doesn’t mean it’s not here. Maybe if we stepped away for now and came back another day…”

It was like he wasn’t hearing her. As soon as she’d said the words _we didn’t find it,_ he began pacing through the living room, his hands raking through his hair. “Ya don’t get it, Bobby. Ya don’t get many chances to take down someone like Vincent. My brother said he had motherfucking _proof_ that could destroy him. Ran his mouth ‘bout it all the time and now he’s just _gone.”_

Tora was breathing heavily and his fists clenched tightly at his sides. “This coulda been my way out. A shot at a normal life with ya. Damnit. Knowin’ him, it was probably a fuckin’ lie. A pipe dream ta make me feel better about the shit life I was livin’. Just a bunch of talk,” he spat. “All he ever was.” 

“ _That goddamn motherfuckin’ asshole!_ ” he boomed and charged the bookcase. He threw it down on its side in one swift motion, which busted the shelves and sent most of its contents spilling out. Poppy yelped in shock and leapt up from the couch while Gyu sat silently, as though he were used to this. 

“Tora! Getting angry isn’t going to help us find it any faster,” she said and planted her feet in front of him. “We’re going to get you out of this. I promise.”

She could see him trembling and pulled on the neck of his shirt until he lowered himself to her level. “I’m not giving up, okay?” 

He shuddered in her grip and wrapped his arms around her. “Sorry,” he mumbled into her shoulder. “Just don’t know what else ta do.”

“We just have to keep looking,” she replied, leaning her face against his arm. “It’ll turn-“

She froze. 

“Tora.”

“Hmm?”

He turned to face the kitchen and looked down at the floor to where she was pointing. 

Next to the pile of scattered novels and comic books was the deck of poker cards, opened and halfway empty. All of the cards had been cut about three quarters of the way down and sliding out from the bottom of the box was a small, black flash drive.


	16. The World is So Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING: there are graphic depictions of violence in this chapter**
> 
> Hi, everyone! I'm back with a slightly longer update today. We're still in the process of moving and will be for the next couple of weeks, so please bear with me while updates may still be irregular during that time. I appreciate you all sticking through this story and enjoying reading it as much as I have been writing it! You are the best people out there <3
> 
> Just a side note to add that I've done some research in my spare time and and am still not 100% on what it means to be in the mafia or how the legal system works around/against it. If you are well practiced in law or law enforcement, please forgive any errors on my end! Or if you have the time and would like to message me with advice, I am all eager and grateful ears :) 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“We get the gist of things  
But no one has the time to dig  
For stories no one wants to hear  
Now the consequence of actions and incompetence  
Show it's worse than we had feared

'Cause the world is so dark  
But there's light deep inside you  
We all have been hurt  
And we all have been lied to  
Distracted before we know  
We're distracted and so it goes”  
-Sean Spillane, “Distracted”

\---

For a moment, no one moved or spoke a word. 

They had been searching for hours for proof, the existence of _any_ physical evidence that would bring Vincent Balthuman to his knees. And now that they were faced with what may be that very thing, it brought them to silence.

Poppy couldn’t speak for Tora or Gyu, but she was afraid: what if there was nothing useful on this flash drive and then… what if there _was?_ Was she prepared to see the immeasurable evil that might be contained on this little gadget?

Finally, Gyu stood and plucked the USB drive from the box of cards. “Your bro was a clever lil’ shit, all right,” he breathed to Tora, who only nodded in response, his eyes wide. “Whaddya thinks on here?” he asked. 

“Dunno,” Tora said after a brief pause. “Wasn’t even thinkin’ we were gonna find anythin’.”

“Welp, only one way to find out,” Gyu replied and perched himself on the sofa frame, laptop balanced on his knees. 

As Gyu began clacking on keys, Poppy wrapped her arms around Tora’s waist and looked up at him. “Hey,” she said and he met her eyes. “No matter what’s on that thing, it’s going to be okay. You know that, right? I’ll be here for the next step, whatever it is.”

He gave her a small smile and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “I know,” he murmured. “I love ya, Bobby and I’m _so sorry…”_

Gyu’s voice cut through the living room. “Big Bro, it’s password protected. I can navigate my way around it, but it might take me a few hours. He was yer brother, do ya have any idea what it might be?”

Tora looked at his friend thoughtfully. “Ah… shit. Fucker loved ta gamble. Maybe his favorite game?” he guessed. Try ‘blackjack.’”

Gyu typed away on his keyboard. “Nah, s’not it. What else? Maybe somethin’ more personal?”

Tora raked his fingers through his hair. “Try ‘Reyna.’ R-E-Y-N-A. Name of a girl he was obsessed with in high school.”

More clacking. “Nah. What else ya got, bro?”

Tora threw his hands up in the air in defeat. “Fuck if I know, Ronzo! I hate this hacker shit… Ya know I don’t get how any of this works-“

“Well, technically, this ain’t hacker shit, Big Bro. This is just guessin’-“

“All right, smart ass, what else do ya suggest?”

“Dunno,” he shrugged. “I’ve seen all sorts of shit. Name of a childhood pet, the street ya grew up on…”

“’Murakami.’ M-U-R-A-K-A-M-I. Try that.” Tora looked down at Poppy. “Our mom’s maiden name. One of the only things we knew ‘bout her.”

Poppy gave Tora a tight squeeze, grateful for any part of himself he was willing to share with her. She wished she could have met his mother. And she wished he could have met hers. 

The typing of keys and then Gyu’s elated voice.

“Bro. _I’m in.”_

\---

Tora and Poppy seated themselves on either side of Gyu, transfixed by the computer screen. 

“What is all this? The hell are we looking at?” Tora asked, touching his pointer finger to the screen. The contents on the screen shifted and then they were exited out of the window Gyu had opened. 

“Damnit, bro, it’s a touch screen,” Gyu said with agitation in his voice. He clicked the window open again. “It’s _sensitive._ Just… keep yer hands to yaself, kay?”

Tora glared at his friend. “If Poppylan wasn’t here right now…”

“I know, I know, ya’d break my other leg.” Gyu shook his head. “Looks like a buncha video files. They’re not labeled or organized any specific way, just looks like it goes by the date and time they were added to the flash drive.”

“Okay…” Poppy said. “Should we just start from the beginning and work our way down?”

“Makes the most sense ta me,” Gyu said and clicked on the first file. 

Poppy held her breath as the media player opened and then released it as she realized it was footage of a group of men in black suits gathered around a large wooden table. She squinted at the plant in the corner; it was the same plant Tora had texted her a picture of all those weeks ago. “Is this at Chevy’s?” she asked. 

“Yeah, s’their favorite place for clan gatherings,” Tora said. “Ronzo works at the bar there when he’s not watchin’ over yer place.”

Poppy nodded slowly. She and her coworkers had taken potential investors out to lunch there before. The idea that something so professional and innocent could have been taking place right next to a meeting of Narin City’s mafia members unnerved her. 

“Can’t really hear what they’re sayin’,” Tora said. “Try the next one.” 

Gyu clicked the second link. It was more footage of the same group of men in the same location. 

“Fuck, skip down a few,” Tora ordered.

Poppy looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

“ _Please,_ ” he said firmly, eyeing her with a smirk. 

Gyu clicked on a file halfway down the page. The window opened to reveal grainy footage of what looked like an empty warehouse. There was a van parked by a pillar and men were loading what looked like white bricks into the back of it. There wasn’t much talking and you couldn’t make out any of the men’s faces; they were moving back and forth too quickly between a pallet and the back of the van. 

“Damnit, where are the fuckin’ videos of politicians? This shit is useless if ya can’t see the fuckers’ faces,” Tora said on a sigh. “Fuck, Goliath. Just… _fuck.”_

Poppy was about to reassure Tora when Gyu spoke up. “Bro, there’s still a buncha files we haven’t looked through. Don’t get discouraged yet. The fact that this shit even exists is _huge._ Let’s try one more and I’ll check the others on my guard shift tonight.”

Tora looked at Gyu thoughtfully for a moment and then clapped his big hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Thanks, Gyu,” he said and Poppy smiled. 

“No problem.”

Gyu selected a random file and clicked it open. 

The three of them were met with a disturbing scene. The video looked to have been filmed in the same warehouse as the last clip they’d watched, but this time there was no van or drugs being loaded. 

There was a man bound to a chair on the far-right side of the screen; he was moaning and begging. The quality of this video was clearer and Poppy could make out a dark liquid spilling down the man’s face.

Across from the man was a boy, a teenager, from the look of his height and build. His back was to the camera and his body was shaking as he took heavy breaths in and out. 

Beside the boy was an older man, maybe middle aged, wearing a nice suit. His light hair was swept back from his handsome face and he surveyed the scene before him with a confident stature, arms crossed over his chest. He looked out of place in his dingy surroundings. He also looked… kind of like Quincey. 

“Tora,” Poppy breathed and pointed at the older man. “Is that…”

“Vincent,” he said quietly, eyes wide. 

Suddenly the man spoke and his voice was crystal clear. “Tora… we’ve been over this several times, son. You have a job to finish.”

At the sound of his name emerging from Vincent’s lips, tears welled in Poppy’s eyes. She glanced over at her boyfriend, who appeared to be in shock. How old was Tora? What had he just done? What was he going to have to _do?_

“No,” Young Tora said on the video. “I don’t want to.”

Vincent sighed. “You’re trying my patience. Do as I say and we can go home.” He said it so plainly, as if he were asking Young Tora to complete his schoolwork. 

_”NO!”_ Young Tora bellowed, his whole body convulsing. The man continued to sob and moan in front of him. Tears poured down Poppy’s cheeks.

“You little fucking _idiot,”_ Vincent sneered and slapped the boy across his face. “I’ve told you what will happen if you disobey me. Do you _really_ want that?"

“Don’t care if you kill me,” Young Tora said, his hands at his sides. 

Vincent chuckled. “I think you’ll care in a moment,” he retorted and then turned his head to call out to someone off camera. “Send him in!”

Both Vincent and Young Tora watched as a man in a black suit brought in another boy, this one smaller with blue hair. Poppy immediately recognized him as Tora’s brother. His hands were bound behind his back and his face was strained. Black Suit forced the boy to his knees beside Vincent and stepped back out of frame. 

Vincent reached into his jacket pocket and withdrew a small silver blade. Without a moment’s hesitation, he settled it against Goliath’s throat. “Kill the bastard,” he seethed to Young Tora, “or I’ll paint the floor with your brother's blood.”

“Poppy, look away,” Tora said from over Gyu’s shoulder and she felt his hand on her arm. “I don’t want ya seein’ this.”

She barely heard him; she couldn’t pull her eyes away from the screen. 

“Don’t hurt him,” Young Tora said in a panic. “I’ll… I’ll do whatever you want.”

Vincent cocked his head at Tora, blade still resting against Goliath’s neck.

“Whatever you want, Mr. Balthuman, _sir._ ”

Seemingly satisfied, Vincent tucked the blade back into his jacket and crossed his arms. “I’m waiting, son.”

Young Tora turned his attention to the bound man in front of him and he stood quiet and still for a moment, his hands slowly clenching into fists at his sides. 

_“Poppy-“_ Tora said and lunged at her from behind Gyu, but he wasn’t quick enough. 

With the cry of a warrior, Young Tora hurled himself forward and jumped on the man, pummeling his fists into his head and chest. Blood spattered onto the floor around them, the sound of crunching bone, guttural breathing and then the man’s begging had ceased and his body slumped over in the chair. 

The video continued to roll on; Vincent ordered someone to collect Goliath and clean up the mess, then he lowered his head to Young Tora and said something she couldn’t make out. Poppy began to sob and Tora clutched her tightly against him. Gyu pushed himself off the couch to give them space and Tora sat them up, rocking Poppy against him, his big hand cradling her head to his chest. 

“Damnit, Poppylan, I told ya to look away,” he said gently into her ear. She kept bawling into his shirt until it was soaked with her tears. “I’m sorry ya had ta see me like that, I never wanted-“

”I’m _so sorry_ he made you do that,” Poppy sputtered. “It’s not your fault, it’s not you. _I know it isn’t you.”_

“I’m sorry, Big Bro,” Gyu said quietly from where he stood in the middle of the room. “I shoulda turned it off before it went too far.”

“S’all right, Gyu,” Tora said over Poppy’s head. “We needed ta know what was on that drive.”

“Well, this is a damn good start,” Gyu replied. “Did ya notice the time and date stamp on that last video? Ya were what, 14? 15?”

“15,” Tora said and Poppy shuddered against his body. “Goliath was 14.”

“Ya were a _minor,_ bro. And bein’ forced to commit violence under threat of them hurtin’ you and ya family. Think it’s called duress or some shit.” 

“Yeah, but what about all the shit I did after I turned 18? Dunno what the courts would hafta say about that…”

“Dunno either, bro, but I can ask my sister. She could tell me what ta expect if we were ta turn over that type of evidence to her. Ya got Vincent’s face and name right there on that video. It all points ta him, maybe they could get him on human traffickin’ or some shit.” 

Gyu shook his head before continuing. “How the fuck did Goliath pull this off? Filmin’ this shit at 14?”

Poppy felt Tora shrug and she sank deeper into him as his fingers wound their way through her hair. “Dunno. Had to have had help, maybe someone else in the clan.”

“Maybe Prestin,” Gyu said. “He was pretty deep into the technical side of shit before he was killed.”

“Yeah, could be.” 

“I’ll look into the rest of the videos on my shift tonight and call my sister. She’s workin’ tonight and she’ll have access to-“

Tora’s phone beeped in his pocket, a new alert she’d never heard before. Tora stiffened and then gently shifted Poppy away from him while he dug his phone out. He took one glance at the screen and then looked into her eyes. 

“We gotta go. Poppy, _someone’s on ya balcony.”_

\---

At 5:30, Tora’s beater car screeched to a halt outside of Poppy’s apartment gate. 

After he’d received the alert on his phone, everything moved quickly, as if in a whirlwind. Tora pulled her to her feet and then snatched the deck of cards from the floor. He passed it to Gyu and then tucked Poppy under his arm as they rushed out of the apartment. He quickly locked the door behind him and then his arm was back around her until they entered the alley. 

Tora pushed that poor little car as hard as he could, weaving it in and out of rush hour traffic, slamming on the brakes and yelling at people out the window. The two men made phone calls and talked back and forth about avoiding calling the police and what they would do “if the prick was still there by the time they pulled up.” 

Halfway through the drive, Poppy asked if she could call Mrs. Haru to check and make sure she was all right. Tora had nodded and said, “Call and ask if ya rent check cleared okay or somethin’ like that. Don’t let on that nothin’s wrong unless she brings it up.”

She held her breath as she dialed her landlord’s number. It rang and rang and then she finally answered. After Mrs. Haru’s calm and friendly greeting, Poppy exhaled and did as Tora said, asking if she saw the rent check Poppy had slipped under her door the morning before last. Mrs. Haru said she received it and she was sorry she missed her; they would have to plan a day to catch up and she could bake for Poppy this time. Poppy agreed cheerily and hung up with her landlord shortly after. 

When they arrived at her apartment, Tora threw the car into park and looked at her, his eyes blazing. “Poppy, ya stay in the car with Ronzo until I text ya. _Do not_ come upstairs ‘til I tell ya to, understand?”

Poppy nodded solemnly; this felt all too similar to the night Vincent had called him away from her and she was trying her best to navigate those horrible, familiar emotions. 

He sighed, then pressed a kiss to her lips. “I’m sorry,” he murmured and then turned his attention to Gyu. “Ronzo, can ya get started on trackin’ Kane’s car?”

She snapped her head back to look at Gyu. _They were tracking Kane’s car? Was he the one who had set off the motion detector?_

Gyu nodded and powered on his laptop. “Gettin’ it pulled up now, bro.”

Tora looked at her again. “S’gonna be okay, Bobby. I’ll take care of this.” Then he was out the door before she could say another word. 

She watched as he rounded the front of the car, one hand hovering over the handgun at his back. She tapped the gate open for him and he strode quickly across the parking lot, then ducked inside the building. 

Poppy shook in the passenger seat; whether it was from nerves or anger, she didn’t know. She was scared for her boyfriend and hated the idea of him going in alone, but also knew it was useless to fight him on it. He’d made up his mind and that was that. 

She was also furious; furious at Kane, furious at Vincent, furious at the existence of evil and violence in this world. And that the man she loved had been dragged into the middle of it all without a choice. 

She seethed for a moment longer and then turned to Gyu. “You’ve been tracking Kane’s car?” she asked him. 

He peered at her from over the laptop screen. “Um, I dunno if Big Bro wants me ta discuss this with-“

_”Gyu.”_

He sighed. “Yeah. Yeah, he had me order in a trackin’ device to put on his car the night Kane picked ya up from work. He’s been keepin’ tabs on him for yer safety.”

Poppy nodded. “I understand. Thanks for telling me.”

“Sure thing.” He continued clacking away on his laptop. 

Poppy stared at her phone, waiting for the text for the all clear to come through from Tora. Ten minutes passed in silence and then finally her phone dinged. 

Tiger, 1 New Message.

_all clear. have Ronzo walk ya to the door, then you come up alone._

Poppy relayed this to Gyu and they exited the car together. He walked her to the door and paused at the entryway. 

“Hey, s’gonna be okay, Poppy,” he told her with a small smile. “Big Bro would do anythin’ for ya. You know that, right?”

That was what she was most afraid of, the fact that some day he might _have_ to, but she wasn’t about to tell Gyu that. 

Especially right now.

After a moment, she nodded, took a deep breath and ascended the stairs to her apartment.


	17. Demons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Just a warning that there is kinda sorta some angry smutty sex in this chapter, but it is entirely consensual, trust me ;)*
> 
> I'm back with maybe the longest update yet? I hope you all enjoy! 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading and please let me know what you think <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Fog and fears and a mouth full of hot tears,  
Can drown that voice sent to guide you.  
And wicked tongues with their hooks,  
And their ice blood,  
Can wake the demons inside you.”  
-A Fine Frenzy, “They Can’t If You Don’t Let Them”

\---

Poppy climbed the stairs to her apartment slowly, afraid of what she was about to see. Tora would have warned her if it was anything truly bad or… _graphic,_ right?

When she finally reached her door, she knocked, the idea of how silly it was lost on her. It was her home, but the instant the words _”Someone’s on ya balcony”_ had left Tora’s mouth, it didn’t feel like _hers_ anymore. It was tainted and consumed by the presence of some unwelcomed invader. 

_Would she even want to live here after this?_

The door quickly swung inward and Tora stood there in the frame, blocking her view of the apartment. He looked down at her with sad eyes, as though he was pitying her and had been for several minutes. She didn’t like it. 

“What happened?” she whispered. “Is there someone…”

“No one’s here but you ‘n me, Bobby,” he responded quietly. 

“Why didn’t you want Gyu to come up?”

He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. “I wanted to give ya time… ta take everythin’ in. Yer gonna be upset and I didn’t want him here for that. This is yer home and ya have every right ta react how you want to, without worryin’ about what someone else is gonna think.”

Poppy nodded slowly. “Okay. I’m ready.”

Tora held out his big hand. She took it and allowed him to lead her inside. 

\---

At first glance, nothing seemed to be wrong. 

All of her furniture was where it should have been; it didn’t appear that anything had been taken or damaged. 

Upon a closer look, Poppy discovered it was much, much worse than that. 

When she glanced to the right side of the entry way, she noticed her bookcase was still upright, but to the right of it was a mountain of all her books, pages torn out and scattered across the floor. The knick knacks she’d collected over the years had been busted into pieces and a little painting she’d bought at the craft show with Danae and Mirabelle was ripped in two. 

As she continued this disturbing tour of her apartment, she saw that every single one of her plants had been ripped from their pots. The pots were overturned but not broken and dirt was flung in every direction. When she picked up her zig zag cactus, she realized it had been shredded to pieces. The roots of every houseplant had been removed and stacked in a small, careful pile in front of her balcony door. 

In the space next to her couch, her wooden easel had been snapped into four pieces and the half-finished canvas she’d left propped on it had long, multiple cuts right down the middle. 

She picked up one of the pieces of the easel and then set it back on the floor. “This was a gift from my granny,” she whispered to Tora. “It was hers when she was my age.”

He sighed heavily. “Sweetheart, I’m so-“

Poppy didn’t hear the rest of his words; she kept moving slowly through the room away from him. 

When she came to the small table that housed her family pictures, she froze. The photos had been removed from their frames; the empty frames had been placed back in their usual spots, but the pictures were ripped into tiny pieces. They were in a small pile, stacked neatly on top of each other. 

She plucked a piece from the top between two fingers; her dad’s smile. She tried to smile back but found she couldn’t. Her mouth wouldn’t work. She set it down and looked across the room to the kitchen. 

The pictures on her fridge had also been ripped to shreds, but the magnets had been put back. Poppy said nothing, just moved down the hall to her bedroom. 

Again, any artwork hanging on her walls had been cut and torn and when she glanced over at her wall hook, she saw that Tora’s hoodie had been slashed and reduced to fragments of fabric. The pieces of his sweatshirt were not stacked in a pile like so many other items had been; instead, they were strewn angrily across the room. 

It was so eerie, so _personal._ Whoever did this made sure to create damage without breaking anything that would make noise. They’d also only destroyed things that would take _time_ to restore or that no amount of money or time could _ever_ replace.

Poppy moved quietly to her bed and sat down, staring absently at a spot on the floor. There was a large piece of black fuzz on the carpeting; she would have to clean. She would have to pick it up and then it would be good as new. Good as new.

Tora leaned in the doorway silently for a moment, staring hard at her. Finally, he joined her on the bed and curled his arms around her. 

“I’m not gonna let him get away with this, Bobby,” he said quietly into her ear. “He’s gonna pay for every single thing he’s done to ya.”

She didn’t have to ask who _he_ was. “How do you know it was him?”

“Ronzo sent me a text while ya were comin’ upstairs. The trackin’ history he was able to pull said Kane was here ‘bout half an hour ago.”

The same as the night she’d left Tora, Poppy’s body felt as though it didn’t belong to her. Her hands slowly pressed his arms away from her and then pushed her off the bed. Her legs moved her into the hall and she was helpless to do anything else but let them. Her knees buckled on the living room floor where her fingers began to pick up the discarded pages of her books. 

Tora was at her side in an instant, placing his palms over the top of her hands. “Bobby, lemme do this for ya. I’ll put everythin’ back together nice and neat and vacuum ya carpet.”

“No,” her mouth said for her. “I have to do this. I can do this.” Her hands slid out from under his and continued plucking up the scattered remains of her books.

Tora’s hands on her face. “Bobby, hey. Look at me. Sweetheart, _please.”_ Her eyes rolled up to gaze into his. 

“I wanna move in here with ya until I handle things with Kane. He clearly knows ‘bout us and he’s gonna keep pullin’ this shit ‘til he gets what he wants. I wanna keep ya safe and this is the only way I know how. Okay?” he asked, his molten eyes pleading. 

Poppy’s own eyes softened and she could suddenly feel _everything._ The paper between her fingers, his hands cradling her cheeks, her heart thudding heavily behind her ribs. She gasped and tears sprang from her eyes.

She had never seen Tora look so desperate, so scared. Was he afraid of what Kane might do or was he afraid that she might say _no?_

She launched herself into his chest. “I don’t want you to go,” she said firmly. _I just got you back._ “Please stay.”

His arms wrapped around her and clutched her tightly to him. “I was hopin’ you’d say that,” he murmured. “I got a few errands ta run for Quincey tonight and I’ll grab my things while I’m out. Is there anythin’ ya want? Anythin’ I can bring ya?”

She shook her head. Unless he could bring back priceless pictures from her childhood or restore her plants with a snap of his fingers, she didn’t want a thing.

“Nothing I can think of right now.”

Tora kissed her forehead. “Okay. Ya should be safe while I’m out, Ronzo will be here the rest of the night and he knows ta keep tabs on Kane.” He looked down at the ripped pages from her books and then at her overturned planters. “Ah, unless there’s somewhere else you wanna go? A friend’s or somethin’? I can have one of my men take ya and I’ll pick you up after I’m done.” 

Again, she shook her head. This apartment might not have felt like home to her right now, but she wasn’t about to go hang out with Erdene, sit and drink wine and pretend nothing was wrong. She didn’t think she could do it. 

“I’ll just stay here. I’ll clean and make dinner for us,” she said. 

“Poppy, I can clean when I come back. I don’t want ya to hafta deal with it.”

“I’ll be fine, Tora. Really. I sort of want some alone time to say goodbye, if that makes sense?” 

He nodded. “I get it. Just don’t overwhelm yerself, sweetheart. If ya start to get upset, step away or leave it fer me when I get home, okay?”

 _Home._

He called her apartment home. 

_Would it ever feel that way for her again?_

\---

Tora took her keys with him when he left. He wasn’t sure what time he would be back and didn’t want to wake her if she was sleeping. He’d kissed her long and sweet at the door and told her he loved her before disappearing down the hall. 

Once he was gone and Poppy gazed around her living room, she noticed it felt colder, bigger without Tora in it. It seemed like an impossible task, wandering through her apartment and scooping up the remains of everything she loved, just to throw them away. She made up her mind that she would try to restore what she could and work from there. 

First, she righted all her planters and stacked them into a corner. Then she picked through the slashed tendrils of her plants, selecting pieces she thought she may be able to root in water. She set up a little propagation station on her bookcase and threw away the ruined bits of her babies. 

Then she picked up the pages of her books and tossed them in the trash; she stacked the covers of the books together on a shelf so she would know which ones to replace. 

Then she vacuumed the entire carpet. She went over it twice; between the amount of soil and small splintered pieces of her granny’s easel, it took about an hour before she was satisfied that every last bit had been sucked up. 

She threw out the canvas, the knick knacks, the artwork and made mental notes to replace them when she could. _If_ she could. 

Poppy collected the pieces of the wood easel and tucked them under the couch. She thought to ask Tora if he might be able to help her fix it but wanted it out of sight until then. She couldn’t bear to see it in the broken state it was in. 

Finally, she moved to the table where the tattered pieces of her family pictures lay. She brought out a tape dispenser and tried to line them up and tape them from the back. When she flipped over the one of her granny, it looked almost good as new. She replaced it in its frame and smiled. 

When she started on the photo of her parents, she realized halfway through that there were pieces missing. She checked the surface of the table, the floor around it, the drawers. She couldn’t find them _anywhere._

_Had Kane kept them so she wouldn’t be able to piece the photo back together?_

At this thought, Poppy slumped down onto the floor and allowed herself to cry, to scream, to sob. 

This is how Tora found her thirty-five minutes later.

\---

Poppy barely heard the keys turning in her lock over her sobs and she could just make out the door swinging open through her tears. The next thing she knew, she was being cradled into Tora’s chest and rocked back and forth in his arms. 

“Poppy, are ya hurt? What happened? Are ya okay?” His words came out in a rush beside her ear and she felt him gently squeezing at her wrists, her elbows, her knees.

She shook her head. “M-my dad,” she sputtered. “There are pieces m-missing and I couldn’t, I _can’t…”_

She knew how it must have sounded; she hadn’t spoken to Tora about her father yet or what that picture meant to her. It was the only one she had of him. 

Tora pressed a kiss to her temple. “C’mon, sweetheart, let me run a hot bath for ya. It’ll make you feel better.”

\---

Fifteen minutes later, Poppy was submerged in her bathtub, the hot water up to her collarbone. Steam rose around her in soft swirls and for the first time since she’d stepped into her apartment that afternoon, she felt relaxed.

Tora sat beside her on the floor with his legs bent and his elbows propped on his knees. He hadn’t looked at her since she lowered herself into the tub; he’d just stared at some random spot on the wall across from him. 

Finally, his voice broke through the small, silent room. 

“I lied to ya, Bobby.”

The water sloshed around her as she turned her body to face him. “What do you mean?’

His glare shifted to the floor. “The first time ya texted me, the night we met. I told ya with me you never have to worry. But you do. All the damn time.” He rubbed his hands over his face before continuing. 

“I _hate_ seein’ ya cry and knowin’ I’m the reason for it. You coulda stayed away.” 

He looked at her then, his eyes glassy and wet. “I would’ve missed ya so goddamn much, but I woulda understood. You’d be safer, happier. I just can’t help but think I… God damnit, I _ruined ya life.”_

Poppy immediately stepped out of the tub and positioned herself in his lap, dripping water everywhere. He clung to her wet, naked body desperately and buried his face in her neck. “I’m so sorry, I’m so fuckin’ sorry,” he murmured against her slick skin. 

She wrapped her arms around him and ran her hands through his hair. “Tora, you didn’t ruin anything,” she whispered. “You _made_ my life. There is _nothing_ that would make me not want you.” She paused, tasting bitter venom in her next words. “ _Kane_ hurt me,” she spat, “but he didn’t ruin my life either. I’m still breathing, I’m still here. And there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here with you.”

“If it weren’t fer me, he never woulda-“

“You are not responsible for the horrible things he chooses to say or do,” Poppy said firmly, forcing him to look in her eyes. “You are _not_ him.”

They held each other quietly on the floor until Poppy began to feel chilled. She stood and offered her hands to him. He took them and pushed himself off the linoleum. He reached for the fluffy towel hanging on the door and wrapped her inside of it. 

They walked into her bedroom together; Poppy let her towel drop and helped Tora strip from his damp clothes. They fell heavily into the bed and said nothing. Instead, they laid on their sides, facing each other and letting their hands roam over each other’s bodies. 

Eventually Tora tugged her closer to him and held onto her tightly until he fell asleep. 

\---

Sunday, the next day, was the lazy day with Tora that Poppy had initially wanted. 

Just under different circumstances. 

They woke up together and made breakfast; Tora insisted he set the table and clear it when they were finished. When he began washing dishes, she moved to stand beside him at the sink, but he shooed her out of the kitchen. “Go relax, Bobby. Put ya feet up.”

When he finally joined her on the couch, she told him to pick out a movie he’d like on Netflix. “Nah, watch whatever ya want, sweetheart.” She selected the second film in a trilogy of action movies she knew he enjoyed and he narrowed his eyes at her. “Put somethin’ else on,” he told her firmly. “That Pride and Petticoats movie or some shit.” 

She huffed, not even bothering to correct him. When she didn’t switch the movie over, he took the remote from her and did it himself. 

Halfway through the movie, he told her to lie down and put her head in his lap. “I wanna play with ya hair,” he said softly. “It’ll help ya relax.”

But she _was_ relaxed. At her first words of protest, Tora looked at her pleadingly. “ _Please,_ sweetheart, just let me do this for ya.”

She blinked at him. He’d been doing everything for her all morning. Treating her like she was an invalid, incapable. She opened her mouth to give him a talking to and then closed it again as she lowered her head into his lap. 

This would be the last thing she’d _let_ him do for her.

\---

When the movie was over, Poppy sat up and turned herself around so she was facing him. Tora stared back and offered her a small smile. 

“Hey, beautiful,” he murmured and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. 

As he pulled his head back from her, she threw her arms around his neck and held him to her, deepening the kiss. 

He moaned long and low against her mouth and as his lips parted, her tongue darted out to taste him. As their tongues slicked together, she positioned herself over his lap until his hard length was rubbing into her center. She began thrusting into him _hard_ and suddenly his arms were around her lower back. He adjusted her legs so they wrapped around his waist and then settled her onto her back on the floor.

He stretched himself out over her and tucked his knees in between her legs to balance his weight. He ran his large hands over the length of her arms and brought them above her head, interlacing his fingers with hers. 

Tora kissed her softly at first, barely brushing her lips with his. Then more firmly, but not with the same force he usually did. He was holding himself back, she knew it and it was starting to piss her off. 

Poppy nipped at his bottom lip with her teeth and he groaned. He ground his pelvis into hers and she wound her legs around his back to pull him closer. She broke her mouth away from his long enough to tug his shirt over his head. She threw it behind her carelessly and raked her nails over his bare back. 

He shuddered above her and pulled at the hem of her t-shirt. She sat forward and shoved it off herself frantically, then helped him unhook her bra.

Once they were skin to skin, her fingers dipped to the waistband of his jeans, but he pressed into her chest harder, restricting the movement of her arms. 

She grunted in protest and shimmied her arms low enough to unzip his pants. She wanted him and was tired of this slow game he was playing. 

“Tora,” she hissed into his ear. “I want you to be rough with me. _Right now.”_

His head snapped up to look at her. “Bobby, I-“

“Please, _just do it.”_

He sighed and pushed himself off her. He stood and removed his pants and boxers, then crossed the room to the gym bag he’d brought with him last night. Poppy kicked off her own pants and underwear, anxious to feel him inside of her. 

He pulled a condom out of the bag and rolled it onto himself, then returned to her. 

Tora guided his cock into her slowly and she gasped at the feeling of his length filling her. He rolled his hips over hers, each thrust fluid and gentle. Once again, she wound her legs around him to bring him closer, to encourage him to move faster, harder. 

He continued to rock against her evenly, slowly, deeply. She turned her face away to cry out and when she opened her eyes, she was met with the sight of a large, wood splinter embedded in the carpet beside her head. Somehow she’d missed it. 

She closed her eyes, but she couldn’t stop seeing her granny’s easel in pieces, her plants shredded and carelessly tossed across her floor. The torn pages of her favorite books. Her boyfriend’s hoodie stripped down to scraps of fabric.

“Harder,” she whimpered to Tora. 

He pressed into her with a little more force, but nowhere near the same intensity she was used to. She dug the tips of her fingers into his back and clung to him like a drowning victim. 

_Victim._

He saw her as a victim. A victim of Kane, of the life Tora led, of himself.

With every stroke into her, she could _feel_ how sorry he was, how much he wished he could make everything better for her. He was making _love_ to her; it was sweet, tender and she adored him for it.

But it wasn’t what she needed right now. 

Poppy pressed her palms into his chest and attempted to push him off her. He stopped his movements and looked down at her. “S’matter? Did I hurt ya, Bobby?”

“No. You could never hurt me. Roll over.”

His eyebrows rose. “Pop-“

“Tora, get off of me and _roll over.”_

He did as she said and laid flat on his back. He watched her with round eyes as she swung one leg over him and straddled his lap. She gripped his hard length with one hand and slowly lowered herself onto him. 

She’d never been on top before and it didn't seem like he cared. Judging by the look on his face, he was already enjoying himself. She could make this up as she went. 

She could get this under control. 

She could do this. 

Poppy continued to ride him, gradually picking up her rhythm and speed. At one point, she splayed her palms out across his abdomen and slammed herself down around him. He moaned and dug his fingers into her thighs. She repeated this motion over and over and _over_ again until he cried out her name. 

She closed her eyes and threw her head back, enjoying this just as much as he was, if not more so. But it wasn’t about taking pleasure for herself; it was about taking the reins and giving it to _him._

She braced her knees on the floor on either side of him and hovered over his chest as she sucked his cock in and out of her. Tora’s eyes were screwed shut and his hands scrabbled over her back helplessly. When his hips began meeting her thrust for thrust, she knew he was close. 

She plunged herself down furiously on him a few more times and then he stilled beneath her. She felt every pulse of his cock as he spilled himself into her. 

When he finished, Poppy rolled off him and laid down beside him, struggling to catch her breath. 

He turned his head to look at her. “Did ya come?”

“No,” she managed to say at last. 

She felt his hand move to her wet center and she grabbed his wrist to stop him. “It’s fine, really.”

“But-“

“Tora,” she rasped, her eyes settled firmly on his. “Whatever your plans are for Kane... _I want to help.”_


	18. Ready

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woo, I'm back with another update! I hope you are all enjoying this story as much as I am writing it. It's one of the only things keeping me sane while we move into our new house. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“I want to take shelter but I'm ready, ready to fight  
Somewhere in the middle I feel a little paralyzed  
Maybe I'm stronger  
Than I realize”  
-Sleeping at Last, “Six”

\---

Tora’s breath hitched in his throat and he blinked his big amber eyes at Poppy. 

“The hell do you mean, _ya wanna help?”_

“Exactly what I said,” she told him and propped herself up on her elbow. “I don’t want to be left in the dark anymore. I don’t know if you’re trying to get him arrested or… something else. What I _do_ know is I want to be part of it. I want to be there and see the look on his face when he realizes he _lost.”_

He clenched his jaw and tilted his head to the ceiling. _“Absolutely not.”_

She furrowed her eyebrows and splayed her hand across his arm. _”Tora-“_

His big hand wrapped hers in its grip and he gazed at her fiercely. “Poppylan, I know what yer goin’ through right now. Kane took somethin’ away from me, too. I wanted revenge, I wanted ta kill him and didn’t care who saw me do it.” He sighed heavily and tucked her hair behind her ear. 

“I had a year in prison ta stew on it and I realized that my rage wasn’t goin’ to help me any. It would only get me into deeper trouble. I coulda been reckless, gotten rid of him and lived out the rest of my days in a cell. But I figured out how ta control my anger and just _wait._ S’how I was even able to be around him that night at Quincey’s party.”

At this point, he rolled over and cupped her face in his hands. “I know this is all fresh for ya. I hate that yer hurtin’, sweetheart, and I’m gonna make sure he pays for it. Ya gotta trust me on that.” 

A tear slipped from her eye as she nodded. She _did_ trust him, with everything she had.

“Ya also gotta trust me when I tell ya he ain’t worth throwin’ your life away over. I’m bein’ selfish when I say I don’t wanna be apart from ya, either, but it’s the truth. I love you _too damn much_ ta involve ya any more than I already have.” 

Poppy thought carefully about what he’d just told her. She didn’t want to be apart from Tora, either. Not again. She’d somehow managed to survive two weeks without him; she couldn’t imagine the rest of her life locked away from him. 

Kane had been the reason for the fight with Tora that led to their breakup. She wasn’t about to let him come between them again. 

And like Tora, she knew what it was like to have a loved one ripped away from her. She wasn’t going to put him through that a second time. Poppy knew her dad wouldn’t want this for her, either. He would tell her the same thing Tora was saying to her now. To wait and to trust that it would all work out the way it was supposed to. 

But Tora couldn’t be with her every second of the day and she still wanted protection for those moments when she was without him. A guarantee that she could fight back if it absolutely came down to it. 

She turned her head into Tora’s hand and kissed his palm.

“Okay, Tora. I trust you and I won’t do anything stupid, I promise. I don’t want to be away from you either.” He smiled softly at her and pulled her in to kiss her forehead. “But, um… what about self-defense?”

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Whaddya mean?”

“Well, you can’t be with me all the time. It’s impossible. So what about when you’re not around? Could you show me how to use a gun for my protection or… something?”

His voice was stern. “Bobby. I’m not givin’ ya a gun.”

“Okay, well, it doesn’t have to be a _gun,”_ she said quickly. “I just want to have the choice to defend myself if necessary. I want to feel safe in my home again.”

“S’what I’m here for.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “You know what I mean.”

He sighed and appeared to contemplate her words for a moment. “Okay, Bobby. I see yer point. I want ya to feel safe, too. I’ll talk with Ronzo and see what we can find for ya.”

\---

Two days later, after Tora picked her up from work and they finished eating dinner, he slid a small white box across the table at her. 

She brushed her hands off and picked it up. “What’s this?” she asked, inspecting the box for labels. 

“Somethin’ that’ll make ya feel safe.” 

Poppy smiled and popped open the box. She reached inside and pulled out a small, pink tazor. She passed it between her two hands; it was smooth and light. Lighter than she thought it would be. She pointed the tazor away from her, hit the button and… nothing happened. 

“Um, Tora…”

“Doesn’t have batteries in it yet,” he said. “Wasn’t goin’ to give you the chance to hurt yerself before ya know how to properly use it.”

She scowled at him. 

“Don’t gimme that look, Bobby. Ya just pushed the button without even knowin’ anythin’ about it. Feisty lil’ woman,” he chuckled. 

Poppy grimaced. She _had_ just done that, hadn’t she? “Er- yeah. Sorry.”

“Nah. Don’t be. C’mon, let’s head up to the roof and I’ll show ya how it works.”

\---

Five minutes later, they were standing on the roof of her apartment building, bundled up in thick coats and winter boots. She watched as Tora popped the bottom off the tazor and inserted two large batteries, then clicked the lid shut. 

He held the tazor away from him and hovered his thumb over the button. It looked so tiny and non-threatening in his large hand, almost like a toy. 

“Okay, the charge is gonna pass between these two metal prongs at the top,” he said and pointed at them. “Ya hit the button and once it’s lit up and starts cracklin’ ya shove it into their skin and it’ll bring ‘em to their knees.” 

She watched as he jammed his thumb down on the button and she jumped at the sudden sharp, popping sounds that came from the top of the tazor. An LED light shone from behind the buzzing prongs. 

Tora lifted his thumb from the button and the device went silent. He held it out to her. “Wanna try?”

She took it from him and held it out in front of her. She hit the button and watched as the tazor came snapping and popping back to life. She jabbed out at an imaginary assailant and then removed her finger from the button. 

“Now, there’s a safety switch on the bottom here,” he pointed. “That way ya don’t accidentally activate it while it’s sittin’ in ya purse or somethin’.” 

She hit the button again and the device crackled to life, then died when she lifted her finger from it. 

“Now, ya gotta be careful with that, Bobby,” he chuckled. “Can bring a man as big as me to the ground.”

Poppy lifted an eyebrow at him. “Oh, really?” 

She took a step toward him.

_BZZZZT_

His hands went out defensively in front of him. “Now, ya better not use that on me.”

She looked at the pink gadget and then back at him. “Interesting.”

She took another step toward him and he backed away.

_BZZZZT_

“Shit-! Stop it. I’m warnin’ ya, sweethe-“

_BZZZZT_

“Jesus Christ, _would ya put that thing away?_ ” 

She laughed. “I’ve just discovered that annoying you is… strangely satisfying.” She clicked the safety on and stuffed it into her coat pocket. “All right, all right, I’m done,” she said holding her hands up, palms out. 

Tora _charged_ across the roof at her. She squealed and turned to cut and run, but she wasn’t quick enough. He caught her by the arm and pulled her into his chest, wriggling his fingers into her side, her most ticklish spot. 

He tickled her until she laughed, then cried and begged him to stop. He finally did and wrapped his arms around her. “Ya feisty lil’ shit,” he teased, beaming down at her. “I never stood a chance against ya. You know that, right?”

“Well, being the one with the tazor _does_ give you an advantage,” she smirked. 

“Pfft. Nah, I’m talkin’ ‘bout the night we met. Ya turned around in that kitchen so damn _quick,_ ya accused me of drinkin’ Yahoo or whatever and I was done for. Knew I wanted ya, right then and there.”

“Oh, yeah?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Knew if by some miracle ya agreed to have me, I’d never leave ya side.”

She pressed herself hard into his chest. “I’m sorry I left yours.”

“Don’t be,” he murmured. “Told ya I wouldn’t hold it against ya. Still don’t. You were standin’ up for yerself, just like that first night in Quincey’s kitchen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m fuckin’ thrilled ta death yer in my arms again. But if I’m bein’ honest, I love ya even more for walkin’ away when you did.” 

She blinked up at him and he cradled her face in his hands. “Really?”

“Yeah. S’another one of those things I love most about you. Ya might not see it, but yer so fuckin’ brave. And strong. Even stronger’n me.”

“That so?”

“Well… strong enough fer a tiny lil’ hamster, anyway.”

She swatted at his arm and he laughed. “I love ya, shorty.” He dipped his head and kissed her lips. “And I promise you, I'm always gonna be there for you. _No matter what.”_

\---

At 4:30 on Friday afternoon, Poppy was perched behind her desk at work responding to an investor’s email when her phone dinged. 

Tiger, 1 New Message. 

A blurry photo of a spiky green plant with bumpy, white stripes. 

_what’s this one?_

She beamed at the screen and quickly typed out a reply.

_It’s a succulent. Haworthia. Or sometimes it’s referred to as a zebra plant because of its stripes :)_

Her phone beeped again. 

_shit they have plants named after animals?_

_Yup!_

_good to know_

“So things are going well with Tiger, huh?”

Poppy jumped at the sound of Erdene’s voice right next to her ear. “Um, uh- yes. Yes, they are,” she squeaked. 

Erdene laughed. “Good. I’m glad to hear it. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I’m going to assume our talk was instrumental in the two of you getting back together.”

Poppy rolled her eyes playfully at her friend. “Yes Dene, I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Erdene wagged a finger at her. “Ah ah, that’s ‘Goddess Divine’ to you, little miss.”

Poppy giggled and bowed mockingly at her. “Yes, Goddess Divine.”

“Much better. So, are you doing anything fun tonight?”

“Uh huh. Tora is picking me up from work and we’re going to dinner and a movie. What about you?”

“I’m teaching a yoga class at the studio down the street at 6 and then we’ll see what I get up to after that.”

Poppy chatted with her friend for a few minutes longer and then ran to use the restroom before Tora showed up. Jacob had gone on a coffee run and the large latte she’d drank had finally caught up with her. 

She washed her hands and looked at herself in the mirror. She’d styled her hair in two French braids, his favorite look on her and worn the red peasant blouse she had on the first night he visited her apartment. She reached into her rainbow-colored clutch for her favorite red lip gloss and dabbed a bit onto her lips. 

Once she was satisfied, she walked out of the bathroom and headed down the hall to collect the rest of her things from her desk. 

As she neared the bullpen, her ears perked up at the sound of a man laughing. It wasn’t Gil, he’d been out of the office attending meetings all day. This voice was slightly deeper than Jacob’s. Was it Tora? Had he come inside? That was unlike him. 

As she rounded the corner, Erdene walked up to her casually, but her expression was concerned and glacial. “Thought you said things were going well with Tiger?” she murmured. 

Poppy’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “What? They _are,”_ she assured her. 

“Then why is Kane here to pick you up?”

Poppy felt as though someone had just thrown a bucket of ice water over her. 

_”What?”_ she hissed. 

“Yeah, he just walked in here and said he was supposed to be taking you to meet Quincey.”

First her home, where he’d destroyed every little memory or thing that she loved. Now her office, where her friends worked, completely oblivious to how dangerous Kane really was. 

She had to get him out of there. 

Poppy forced a giggle out of her mouth and waved her hand dismissively in the air. “Oh, fudge! That’s right. I forgot our date is _Saturday_ night. Tora is working tonight and Quincey said he wanted to have dinner with me. He must’ve sent Kane to pick me up.”

Erdene looked unconvinced but didn’t question her on it. “Okay, but Pops… I thought Tora hated Kane,” she whispered. “Won’t this piss him off?”

“Oh, it’ll be fine once I explain what happened. He’s actually calmed down a lot about the whole Kane thing.”

“Poppy… you’d tell me if something was wrong, right? If you needed help?”

Poppy’s heart sank. Her friend knew her too well, but she couldn’t _let_ her help. It wasn’t safe. She didn’t want her to get involved. Or Jacob. Or the police. Dragging the police into this would potentially attract unwanted attention to Tora and that was the last thing she wanted. 

She had to do this on her own. 

She smiled brightly at her friend as blood roared in her ears. “Of course I would. Everything is fine, Erdene. Really.”

Erdene stared at her for a moment and then nodded slowly. “Okay. Whatever you say.”

Poppy stepped into the bullpen and was slapped with the sight of Kane leaning against her desk, chatting with Jacob, as though he did this every day. 

When he looked up and saw her, a big, wolfish grin stretched across his face. 

“Hey, Poppy. What’s up?”

\---

“Hi, Kane!” she said a little too loudly. “Ready to go?”

“Sure thing. I parked on the street, right out front.”

She smiled, her teeth digging into her cheek. “Great. Do you happen to know what Quincey wants to do for dinner? I’m starving.”

“Nah, ya know he never tells me details. Just tells me what to do and I listen,” Kane chuckled. 

“Right. Oh! Speaking of Quincey, did Erdene show you the proof for the cover art of his novel? She just finished it up yesterday and it looks amazing.”

“No, she didn’t, but I’d love to see it,” Kane replied. 

Erdene raised her eyebrows at Poppy and then looked to Kane. “Yeah, come on back, Kane. It’s sitting right here on my desk…”

Poppy waited until Kane was leaning over Erdene’s desk and then snatched her tazor out of her purse. She slid it into the front pocket of her jeans and shrugged her bag over her shoulder. 

Kane and Erdene chatted briefly and then he walked over to meet her at her desk. “Ready?” he smiled. 

She smiled back and closed her fist over the device in her pocket.

“Ready.”

\---

Once they stepped out onto the sidewalk, Poppy spun around briskly and faced Kane. “I’m not going _anywhere_ with you.”

“Hmmpf. Oh, sweetheart, I think ya are,” he said and reached out for her arm. 

Hearing Tora’s term of endearment for her leave Kane’s mouth stoked the fire burning brightly inside Poppy. She’d had enough of him. 

She flicked the safety switch off and yanked the tazor out of her pocket. She held it out in front of her. 

“I swear, if you touch me, I will put you to the ground,” Poppy hissed and pressed the button. The pink tazor crackled to life. 

Kane chuckled. “Ya think yer gonna hurt me with that little Barbie toy? Do ya even know what yer doin’ with it? C’mon, ya stupid bitch, get in the car.”

His hand snapped out and he curled it tightly around her forearm.

Like a viper, Poppy struck. 

The buzzing metal prongs dug into his arm and Kane dropped to the concrete like a rag doll. His body convulsed on the asphalt and his groans of pain were music to her ears. 

_“Oi, Poppy!”_

Chest heaving with deep breaths and adrenaline, she whipped around. 

A red sports car screeched up to the curb behind her. It lurched onto the sidewalk, parked haphazardly and then her boyfriend was climbing out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I'm gonna say is... tazor says yes ;)


	19. Unlimited

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late on this one, but I managed to squeeze out an update! For the first time since writing this story, I had the worst writer's block. I think it's because we're nearing the end and I'm subconsciously stalling :( 
> 
> I don't want it to be over, but I AM excited to work on some one-shots from this story written from Tora's POV ;) 
> 
> As always, thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoy!!!
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Something has changed within me  
Something is not the same  
I'm through with playing by  
The rules of someone else's game  
Too late for second-guessing  
Too late to go back to sleep  
It's time to trust my instincts  
Close my eyes  
And leap”  
-“Defying Gravity” performed by Idina Menzel and Kristen Chenoweth

-from _Wicked,_ written by Stephen Schwartz and Winnie Holzman

\---

In an instant, Tora was at her side. 

He pulled the tazor out of her grasp and flicked the safety switch on. He stuffed it in his coat pocket, looked down at the writhing figure of Kane and then at Poppy. 

“Fuckin’ _Christ,”_ he hissed and framed her face in his hands. “Ya okay? Did he hurt you?”

Her words came out warbled and rushed as she struggled to catch her breath. “N-no. But he c-came upstairs. Erdene and Jacob were there. I had to g-get him out. He grabbed my arm and tried to make me get into his c-c-car.”

Tora’s eyes burned bright gold and his jaw clenched. _”He put his hands on ya?”_

She nodded, eyes wide. 

“Get in the car.” 

“But… what are you-“ 

“Poppylan, _get in the car."_

She walked across the sidewalk and slipped into the unfamiliar sports car in a daze. She watched anxiously as Tora hovered over Kane for a moment. A middle-aged couple walked by the two men slowly and then came to a stop beside Tora. They turned to her boyfriend and gestured at Kane, seemingly offering to help. They obviously had not seen what just occurred. 

Tora shook his head and dismissed them with his hand. When they did not move, he threw them one _look_ that got them moving down the sidewalk again. 

Poppy bit her lip as Tora bent over Kane’s form. Tora gripped him under the arms and hauled him to his feet. Kane staggered a bit and Tora held onto him. When he’d found his footing, Tora clapped one giant hand under Kane’s face and yanked it towards his _hard._ He said something to the shorter man and she could tell by the enraged look on his face that he wasn’t paying Kane a compliment. 

She couldn’t make out what Kane’s reaction was; his back was to her. Finally, Tora turned him around roughly and shoved Kane away from him. 

Once Kane was tucked into his car and had driven down the street, Tora rounded the front of the red car and threw himself inside. He immediately faced Poppy and his hands returned to her face. 

“Ya sure yer okay?” he asked, his voice firm. 

She settled one hand over the top of his. “Yeah, I’m fine. Um… so, some good news: the tazor works.” 

Tora barked out a loud laugh, the heavy tension inside the car gone. “Damn right it does. Just glad I didn’t give ya a gun.” 

“So…” she said slowly, her hand dropping from his. “You aren’t mad?” 

His eyebrows settled in a straight line. “At you?” 

“Well, yeah. I told you I wouldn’t do anything stupid and I _tazed_ him on a _public street…”_

His hands angled her face so she was forced to look at him. “Poppylan, I’m fuckin’ _proud_ of you. I gave ya that tazor to protect yerself with and that’s what you did. He put his hands on ya and tried ta force you into his car. That’s the legal definition of self-defense, sweetheart. Ya did everythin’ right.” 

His eyes softened and his thumb stroked her cheek. “I’m just sorry I wasn’t here a few minutes sooner. Coulda prevented ya from havin’ ta do somethin’ like that in the first place. Stupid fuckin’ traffic.” 

“But… what if he calls the police?” 

“Kane ain’t gonna draw attention to himself by involving the cops. Trust me.” 

“What if he tells Quincey?” 

“Pfft. He ain’t ‘bout to try to explain to Quince why he was in a position ta be put down by a woman in the first place. Thinks it makes him look weak and that’s the last thing he ever wants. I promise ya, everythin’s gonna be okay.” 

She exhaled long and low. “Okay. I trust you.” 

He smiled at her and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. “Good.” 

Tora settled back into his seat and closed his eyes, letting out what sounded like a sigh of relief. 

“Tora?” 

“Yeah, sweetheart?” 

“What did you say to Kane?” 

He opened one yellow eye and smirked at her. “Dunno what ya mean. Just helped him to his feet and made sure he was good ta drive.” 

_”Tora.”_

He blinked at her. “Told him he was lucky I didn’t see him touch ya and if he _ever_ put a hand on my girlfriend again, it’d be the last thing he lived ta do.” 

Poppy should have been affected by the death threat that left Tora’s mouth. She _knew_ that. She didn’t want to believe that she could be desensitized so quickly; she’d only known about this part of Tora’s life for a little while. 

But she didn’t care about that. Kane deserved everything he had coming to him and even _he_ had to know that at this point. 

What Poppy zeroed in on was the fact that Tora had just called her his girlfriend. She knew what she meant to him, but this was the first time she’d ever heard the official word leave his mouth. And he said it to _Kane,_ of all people, the one man he’d never wanted to know about them. 

But it didn’t matter anymore. He knew and they were _free._

Tora finally started the car and shifted into drive. “All right, Bobby, I’m gonna get ya home.” 

“But… what about our date?” 

He looked at her over his shoulder. “Really? Ya still wanna go, after all that excitement?” 

She nodded quickly. “Yes. I want to go out for dinner and a movie with my boyfriend.” 

He flashed his dimples at her. “Whatever ya want, sweetheart.” 

\--- 

Tora took Poppy to dinner at her favorite sushi restaurant in the city and the names Kane, Quincey and Vincent never left their mouths once. Instead they chatted about their days, a new book Poppy was reading and planned out the details of the trip they were going to take to the beach that summer. They smiled, _laughed_ and towards the end of the meal, Tora reached across the table and held her hand. 

Gradually, though, as the night wore on, she noticed Tora withdraw into himself. After dinner, when they sat down in the car to head to the cinema, he’d received a text message and been on and off his phone ever since. 

He held her hand while they waited in line for movie tickets, but he didn’t tease her when she picked out some cheesy romantic comedy for them to see. 

He paid for their drinks and snacks quietly and followed her into the half-full theater. Normally when they saw a movie, he walked in before her and chose their seats. He liked to sit in the very back, where no one was behind him and he could see every exit, so that’s where she led him. Once they were settled in their chairs, she turned and faced him. 

He was slumped down in his seat, texting furiously. 

“Everything okay?” she asked quietly. 

Tora looked at her and his face broke out into a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “S’fine. Just textin’ Ronzo.” 

She perked up a bit. “Oh? Are there other videos we can use on that flash-“ 

Tora gently slid his palm over her mouth. “Don’t worry ‘bout that right now, sweetheart. Just enjoy yerself.” 

She pulled his hand from her face and frowned at him as the lights went down and the screen lit up with previews in front of them. 

As the movie started, she tried to focus and eventually found herself entertained by it. It was a cute and lighthearted story with one of her favorite actresses playing the lead role. Before she knew it, she was giggling and immersed in the plot. 

About half an hour into the film, Poppy stole a glance over at Tora. He was leaned back against the arm of his chair, facing her and watching her closely. If the lights in the theater hadn’t been so low, he would have seen her blush. 

She leaned over and beckoned to him with one finger. He brought his face close to hers. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” she whispered. 

“Just like seein’ ya happy,” he whispered back. 

They were the only ones sitting in the back row, his voice was husky and low and he was gazing into her eyes so _fiercely_ that she couldn’t help herself. She pressed her mouth to his and a deep sigh rumbled out of him. 

He kissed her back firmly and cupped his hand behind her head to hold her to him. He nipped at her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to him eagerly. He pushed his tongue inside and it wrangled with hers, tasting every inch of her. 

She’d never made out with someone in a movie theater before. It was exciting and scary, knowing they were concealed in half darkness, but anyone could see what they were doing if they looked closely enough. _This_ type of danger she could get used to. 

His mouth moved against hers with a punishing intensity and she could feel her lips swelling from his hard kisses. His big hand roamed over her breast and cupped her through her blouse. He found her nipple through the fabric and when he rolled it expertly between two fingers, she moaned, forgetting where she was. 

“Bobby,” he huffed with a half-smile, “if ya keep moanin’ like that, we’re gonna get kicked outta here.” 

“Well, if _you_ keep touching me like that,” she rasped, “we’re gonna need to go somewhere I don’t have to be quiet.” 

His eyebrows rose into his forehead. “Wanna head home?” 

She nodded and took his hand so he could lead her down the darkened stairs. 

\--- 

When they were inside her apartment, Tora gave her the rough sex she’d wanted the other night; he took her from behind right there on the living room floor, pelvis slamming into hers, fingertips digging into her bottom. He’d even spanked her once and when she bucked her hips back into him, he’d let out a low chuckle and did it one more time. It was sexy and raw, anything but gentle. It was like being introduced to a whole new side of him, a whole new side of _herself_ and it thrilled her. 

Once their breaths returned to them, Tora hugged Poppy into his bare chest. 

“Ronzo wants me ta meet with his sister, Lane,” he said. “She’s an inspector here in the city.” 

Poppy let these words sink in for a moment and contemplated what they could mean for her boyfriend. 

“Does she want to talk to you about the flash drive?” 

He nodded. “She spoke with an attorney and they think I have somethin’ against Vincent. They wanna go over my options.” 

“Like… working with them to build a case?” 

“Yeah.” 

Poppy swallowed hard. “But Vincent, um… would that be safe for you? I mean, he-“ 

“None of this is technically safe, Bobby. But it might be my only shot. And as fer Vincent, he has friends in high places, but if I could find proof of his associations with them, I could bring ‘em all down.” 

“You think the notebook is still out there?” she asked. 

“I mean, Goliath said he had proof of illegal clan dealings and look what we found. If he said there’s video proof of politicians meetin’ with Vincent and the others, it’s gotta be out there somewhere. I _have_ ta believe that.” 

Poppy nodded slowly. “And if you help Lane with this… what would you get in return?” 

He shrugged. “Immunity? Fer assistin’ the police? I dunno. S’what I gotta talk ta Lane and her attorney friend about.” 

A few beats of silence and then Poppy asked, “Do you want me to go with you?” 

“No, sweetheart.” He kissed the top of her head. “It’s enough that Kane knows ‘bout us. I don’t want ya involved in any more of the dangerous parts of my life.” 

She shifted in his arms to look at him. “But-“ 

“In fact, since Kane’s gotten braver, I don’t wanna take any chances with ya. I’m installin’ those grilles on ya door tomorrow and I’m gonna assign one of my men to ya. If I’m not free to take ya somewhere, Quincey’s, goin’ to get groceries, whatever, you’ll be goin’ with him.” 

_What the fudge?_ She struggled in his arms and tried to push herself away from him. “Tora, I can take care of myself. I think I proved that today.” 

He worked around her squirming and clutched her to him more tightly. “Pfft. You don’t gotta remind me how feisty ya are, woman. Almost felt bad for the bastard today,” he chuckled. “But ya had time to think about that. Ya said he came up into your office? Where there were other people?” 

She nodded. 

“He gave ya a chance to react. Maybe feelin’ ya out, seein’ what you would do. He won’t be so generous next time, which is why I want an extra set of eyes on ya.” 

Poppy settled against his chest. It hadn't even occurred to her that Kane could have been testing her. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have someone else looking out for her, after all. 

And she trusted Tora. With her life. 

Anyone he trusted, she trusted them, too. 

\--- 

By the same time the next week, Tora had made good on his promises. 

He’d charmed his way into Mrs. Haru’s heart and with her permission, he installed grilles on Poppy’s balcony door and changed her locks. He’d even taken some extra time to help Mrs. Haru hang some pictures in her own apartment. 

Tora had also assigned Poppy her own personal bodyguard; a man in his early 30’s named Tyson. 

Tyson had crinkly brown eyes, dark eyebrows, a head full of graying hair that he kept slicked back away from his face and a stocky build. Poppy was intimidated by him at first, as she was with all the men she’d met in the clan, but she managed to form a strange bond with him. The moment she told Tyson she liked his arm tattoos, vibrant sleeves that consisted of desert roses and monsteras, they’d become instant friends. He enjoyed collecting rare houseplants and told her he would help her find some that had been on her wish list. 

When Poppy mentioned this to Tora, he smirked. “Tyson doesn’t really get ta share his love of plants with anyone; last thing most clan members want is ta take care of somethin’. They’d rather be out drinkin’ and gamblin’ at the strip clubs.” 

“Thought you’d be a good fit fer each other. Just don’t go fallin’ in love with him, Bobby,” he teased. 

She had beamed at him then and planted a big kiss on his cheek. “Not a chance.” 

\--- 

The following Saturday, at Poppy's next meeting with Quincey, Tora plopped himself down right beside her on the couch. He threw one arm over the cushion behind her and then fired up a cigarette, as though they had been doing this in front of his brother all along. 

Poppy blushed and glanced up at her client. Quincey blinked at the two of them for a moment and then a wide grin spread across his face. 

"Oh. My. God. Did you two... are you _together?!"_ he shrieked and gestured at them wildly. 

Tora rolled his eyes at his brother but didn't correct him. 

"Ahhh! I _knew_ she was your type!" Quincey screeched as he bounded over to them. He flopped himself down over their laps and stretched out on his back. "Frankly, Poppy, honey, you could do better," he said as he gazed up at her and twirled a piece of her long hair around his finger. "But you are _exactly_ who I would have chosen for this big brute. Ugh, I'm so happy for you!" 

Tora shoved at Quincey's waist but Poppy caught him smirking out of the corner of her eye. 

"God damnit, Quince, get off me. Yer not even wearin' pants." 

Poppy giggled. 

Quincey’s eyes widened and he balled his hand into a fist and smacked it against his palm. “Pants… of course! That explains the writer’s block! I’ll be right back.” He pushed himself off the sofa and was on his way down the hall when the intercom buzzed beside the front door. He turned and looked at Tora. “Oh, honey, that’s Kane. Can you let him in?” 

Poppy’s eyes doubled in size as Tora sucked in a deep breath. They hadn’t seen Kane since she’d tazed him outside of her office building. 

_”Sure,”_ Tora ground out. 

Quincey beamed at his brother. “Thanks, you’re a doll!” he chirped before wandering off into his bedroom. 

Without a word, Tora crossed the room and hit the button for the main door. A moment later, there was a knock. Tora whipped open the door and stepped aside to allow Kane in. Kane took one look at Tora, then at Poppy and smirked. 

“Hey, guys. What’s up?” 

Her boyfriend slammed the door shut behind him and clapped his large hand on Kane’s shoulder. _“You-“_

Tora was cut off as Quincey meandered into the living room fully dressed. “Hi, honey!” he greeted Kane. Then he looked at Tora. “Um, what are you guys doing?” 

Kane opened his mouth to say something, but Tora beat him to it. “Oh, I was just tellin’ Kane here that he should take some time off. He’s lookin’ a lil’… _zapped.”_ Tora met Poppy’s eyes and she bit down on her tongue. 

“I agree one hundred percent,” Quincey said. “I always tell Kane he’s working too hard. One of these days, he's going to run himself right into the ground.” He settled himself down beside Poppy and propped his journal open on his lap. “So, it seems like you guys are getting along. Are you finally over your little feud?" 

“Oh, we’re workin’ on it,” Tora smiled and squeezed Kane’s shoulder before releasing him. “Before ya know it, one day soon, _it’ll be dead and buried.”_


	20. Got a Big Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING: there is a graphic depiction of violence in this chapter*
> 
> Happy MPL Update Day, everyone! Who's excited?!
> 
> Today's update is a little on the shorter side, but it's all leading up to one great big shit show, promise! 
> 
> I can't believe there's only 3 or 4 more chapters to go before this story is finished :( It's been such a wild ride. I hope you've all been enjoying it up to this point; it's one of my favorite things I've ever written. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading! <3 
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“I want to hold you close  
Soft breasts, beating heart  
As I whisper in your ear  
I want to fucking tear you apart”  
-She Wants Revenge, “Tear You Apart”

\---

Poppy tilted her head pensively at the new canvas Tora had bought for her. It stared back at her blankly, waiting for her to give it a face, an identity. 

Of all the things Kane had destroyed, Tora replaced what he could: her bookcase was fully stocked with new books, the titles he’d torn apart and some new ones that were on her reading list. Some new canvases, a handful of brushes and a whole new palette of paint. New knick knacks for her shelves and a bonus plush hamster on a key ring. 

It was the wrong time of year to replace her plants, but he’d promised to take her to her favorite greenhouse the moment they opened for the season. 

Lastly and most importantly, using some wood glue and Tora’s brute strength to grip it together, her granny’s easel had been repaired; not nearly as functional as it had been, but able to stand evenly on its feet. 

Now it was posed in front of her in the living room, legs splayed. She was thankful it didn’t have feet with toes; she could practically _see_ them tapping impatiently on the carpet. 

She wasn’t sure where this creative block had stemmed from; she’d hadn’t felt safer, more relieved or content in weeks. Shouldn’t ideas be pouring out of her? Shouldn’t her fingers be aching from hours of painting by now?

She tapped a brush against her nose thoughtfully and then jumped as her phone beeped at the table beside her. 

Tiger, 1 New Message. 

_i’m back, wanna open your gate for a thug?_

She cracked a smile and tapped it open with the app. 

A moment later, Tora was walking in through the front door, one hand deep in his hoodie’s front pocket. He leaned down to give her a kiss and then chuckled as he looked at her. 

“What’s so funny?” she asked. 

“Thought paint was s’posed ta go on the _canvas,_ Bobby.”

“Huh?”

He swept his thumb across her nose and held it out in front of him. A streak of green paint covered his fingertip. 

“Aw, fudge biscuit!” she cried and scrubbed furiously at her nose. Hopefully it wouldn’t stain her skin. 

Suddenly her hand was being pulled away from her face and Tora was shoving some baked good into her mouth. 

“Caramel chocolate muffin,” he said. 

She bit down into the chocolate dough and then a burst of warm, melted caramel seeped out of the center. “Whoa… this is really good!”

“Ya like it?”

“Mmmhmm!”

He smiled. “Not a fudge biscuit, but close enough.”

She smirked at him as she polished off the rest of her treat. “Where did you get this from, anyway?”

“Somewhere in town. Picked it up for ya while I was out runnin’ errands. Got somethin’ else for ya, too.”

She perked up at him. “Oh, really?”

“Mmmhmm, s’out in the hall. Lemme go grab it.”

He disappeared out the door and returned with both hands behind his back. He paused in front of her and flashed her a devilish grin. 

“Okay, the suspense is killing me,” she giggled. “What is it?”

He pulled his arms out in front of him and there in his grasp was a flowering plant in a clay pot. “What’s this one?” he beamed brightly at her. 

Poppy peered closely at the plant. The emerald green leaves narrowed to a point and fanned out around a stalk of small, yellow flowers covered in dark maroon spots. She’d never seen anything like it before. 

After a moment of speechlessness, she blinked up at him. “I-I don’t know.”

He smiled so widely that his dimples came out in full force. “Ya sayin’ I finally did it? I stumped ya?”

She giggled and threw her hands up in defeat. “Yes. I give up. You win. What is it?”

“S’called a tiger orchid,” he said. “Tyson helped me find one for ya.”

“Tiger, huh?” She reached out and rubbed one of the leaves with her fingers. “What makes you think I can handle two tigers in my house?” she teased.

He laughed. “This one’s just a cub right now, Bobby. Tyson said it can grow up ta 25 feet tall. Guinness Book of World Records says it’s the world’s tallest orchid,” he said proudly. 

“Well, if it gets to be that tall, I’m going to need your help taking care of it, Mr. Six Foot Three,” she giggled. She stood on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Thank you for always thinking of me. I love it. I love you.”

“I love ya too, Poppy.”

Suddenly, a flood of colors and images coursed through Poppy’s brain. Inspired, she pulled back from Tora and picked up her paintbrush. “Will you set the tiger cub there, please?” she pointed to the end table beside the couch. 

“Sure, Bobby. Ya gonna paint for awhile?”

“Yeah, I finally figured out what I want to put on this canvas,” she replied and reached for a tube of red paint.

“Kay. I’m gonna head downstairs; Ronzo’s back from his lunch and I gotta talk ta him about settin’ up that meeting with Lane.”

“Okay,” she said and looked over her shoulder at him. “I know what you’re going to say, but _please_ let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

He smirked at her. “You’ve helped me enough, kid. Gotta do this one on my own.”

She sighed heavily. “I know.”

“I’ll see ya in a bit, sweetheart. Have fun.”

Two days later, when Tora walked into Poppy’s living room after a particularly grueling day of work, he would be met with the sight of a colorful painting hanging above the couch; a canvas bursting with bouquets of red poppy flowers and yellow tiger orchids. 

\---

“I don’t know, Pops. Is the dude _muscley_ enough?” Erdene asked as they both stared at the cover art for Quincey’s novel. 

Poppy took in the sight of a buff, shirtless pirate with long, thick black hair; one large hand was wrapped around a rope and his other arm was gripping the waist of a young, slender girl in a white dress. It looked like he was swinging them from the rope of a ship and they were riding into the crest of an ocean wave. 

“Um… you mean like, is he strong enough to hold her and swing from the rope at the same time?” Poppy asked. 

“No, no, I don’t care about the physics of it,” Erdene said. “I’m wondering if he’s _hot_ enough. Quincey specified that this guy is, and I quote, _‘as hot as they come’.”_

“I think he looks… nice,” Poppy murmured, staring intently at the man’s jawline and cheekbones. He looked a _lot_ like a certain thug she knew.

“Just _nice?_ C’mon, ya gotta give me more than that, girl!”

Staring at this bare-chested illustrated version of her boyfriend, Poppy could feel heat rising to her cheeks. She knew every line of Tora’s body, every muscle. Even now, she could explain exactly what it felt like to have him standing shirtless in front of her, to have him naked above her, pressing into her…

No way was she about to go _there_ with her friend right now, while she was feeling all hot and bothered. Especially not with Jacob in the room.

“Um, look, Erdene,” Poppy pointed to her orange off the shoulder shirt. “I got a new t-shirt.”

Erdene glanced down at the shirt and then back up at Poppy’s face. “Cute, but don’t change the subject! Just tell me what you think; you’re making this harder than it has to be, you know,” she said as she wagged her finger, one hand on her hip.

“Why do you want my opinion so badly, anyway?” Poppy muttered, her face burning hot.

“Because you’re dating that Greek god,” Jacob piped up from behind them. 

Erdene snapped her fingers in Jacob’s direction. “Yes, exactly. Tiger is hot and he can get it. And he’s _your_ man, Pops. I expect a little more out of you than ‘Oh, I think he looks nice.’” 

Poppy took a giant breath and then pointed to the pirate’s bicep. “Those need to be bigger and-“ she pointed at his hips, “those need to be more defined. Like, more tapered.”

Erdene clapped her hands together and squealed. “Yes! _That_ is the type of feedback I’m looking for! Anything else?”

“His jawline and cheekbones could be a little sharper,” she said. 

“On it!” Erdene chirped and began furiously writing Poppy’s suggestions into a notebook. 

Poppy had to laugh at her friend’s eagerness. “Okay, are we good? Can I go back to my desk or are you going to ask me how high up my boyfriend’s leg tattoo goes?” 

Poppy clapped a hand over her mouth. 

_Fudge._

Erdene’s hand froze mid-scribble. Her piercing blue eyes squinted hard at Poppy and her mouth crept up into a wicked grin. 

“Tiger has a leg tattoo?”

Poppy swallowed. “Um… nope.”

“Uh huh. Sure. And?”

“And… what?” Poppy asked, playing dumb. 

“How high up does it go?”

“It does _not._ There’s no leg tattoos. Whose boyfriend has tattoos? Not mine,” Poppy said in a rush and scuttled back to her desk. 

“This isn’t over!” Erdene called out from her office. 

\---

As Poppy settled down with a cup of tea behind her desk, her thoughts once again turned to Tora. She glanced up at the clock. 4:30 pm. He was about half an hour into the meeting he’d scheduled with Lane and the attorney that she knew. 

She was equal parts excited and frightened for her boyfriend. Excited because if he assisted them in building a strong enough case against Vincent and the mafia elders, then he could possibly be granted immunity for the crimes he’d committed while working for the Balthuman clan. 

From what Tora had explained to her, Lane had been hard-pressed for years to take down Narin City’s mob. Not only was it part of her job description, but if it meant freedom for Tora, it meant freedom for her brother Gyu as well. 

Lane knew there was corruption in the city’s leading circle of politicians and when Tora had mentioned to her that Goliath said he had video evidence of their dealings with the mob, Lane pushed him to find it. The stronger the case, the harder they would all fall.

On the other hand, Poppy was frightened for Tora for several reasons. What if Lane and the lawyer couldn’t grant him the immunity they were offering? What if the existence of the notebook was merely talk, a pipe dream spouting from the cocky mouth of his younger brother? 

And if they used the videos on the flash drive against Vincent, wouldn’t he retaliate? Or send men still loyal to him to retaliate on his behalf? Poppy supposed that the witness protection program could possibly grant them the freedom and security they would need, but at what cost? They would be forced to change their identities, uproot their entire lives and start over new. Tora could never contact Quincey, the closest person he had to family and Poppy would never see her granny again. 

Would _she_ even be allowed to go with him if they weren’t married? 

Poppy’s dark train of thought crashed as Erdene slammed her hand down on her desk. “What are you still doing here, Mrs. Leg Tattoo? It’s five after five. Let’s go _hoooome.”_

“Sorry, time just got away from me, I guess,” she said and gulped down the rest of her tea. 

“Everything okay?” 

She smiled up at her blue haired friend. “Yeah, I’m fine, Dene. Promise.”

“Okay. I gotta run, I have a yoga class starting in about twenty-ish minutes. Are you good to walk out by yourself? Tiger coming to pick you up?”

“Oh no, he had a meeting at 4:00 and with rush hour traffic, he wasn’t sure if he’d be here on time. His friend is giving me a ride instead.” 

“Good. All right, girl. Have a good night! See you tomorrow!” Erdene chirped and waved goodbye as she sauntered down the hall. 

_Speaking of Tyson,_ Poppy thought as she glanced at her phone, _normally he’s texted me by now to let me know he’s here._

Sometimes cell reception was bad in the office; she would probably get his text the second she walked outside and saw him parked on the curb. 

Poppy slipped her phone into her purse and shrugged it over her shoulder. She was the last one in the building, so she flipped off all the lights and when she walked out the front door onto the sidewalk, she made sure it was locked behind her. 

She turned and scanned the street for Quincey’s car; Tora had taken his red one to the meeting that day and said that Tyson would be picking her up in the bright yellow sports car. She blinked a couple of times and finally spotted it on the curb a block or so away. A little further down than he normally parked, but she didn’t mind the walk. The air was cold, but at least it wasn’t snowing. 

When Poppy came up to the passenger side door, she realized that the window was down. Wasn’t he freezing? It was December, for crying out loud. 

Poppy lowered her head to peer inside. 

“Hey mister, are you trying to catch a cold or som-“

She screamed as she finally saw why she’d never received a text from her bodyguard. 

Tyson was slumped over in the driver’s seat, still buckled in. His throat had been slit from ear to ear and dark red blood was seeping down his chest. 

As Poppy went to spin around and cry out for help, she felt something hard and metal dig into her lower back. 

“Don’t scream or I’ll put a bullet in ya right here,” Kane’s voice rasped behind her ear. Poppy’s eyes widened and she clamped her mouth shut. 

“Good girl. Now we’re gonna take a walk down the street. When we stop, yer gonna _slowly_ hand me that stupid fuckin’ tazor and then we’re gonna get in my car.”

As Kane escorted her down the road to where his sleek black car was parked, only one thought crossed her mind. 

_I’m sorry, Tora._


	21. Strawberry Fields

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay in updates; my husband, friend and I busted our booties this weekend packing up our old house and cleaning and painting a room in the new house. We're getting closer to the finish line and I can't wait! 
> 
> At this point, I can say with confidence that there will be one more chapter after this one, along with an epilogue. Then I'll post one final update to this story where everyone can vote in the comments for the 'Stages' scenes they'd like to see from Tora's point of view :) Those will be posted as their own separate work. It will be a series of one shots that are all decided by YOU!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always, thank you for supporting me through this story (and reading it, of course!) I love this community so so much. 
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“Let me take you down  
'Cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields  
Nothing is real  
And nothing to get hung about  
Strawberry Fields forever”  
-The Beatles, “Strawberry Fields Forever”

\---

Kane opened his passenger side door for Poppy and held out his hand for the tazor. “Don’t try anythin’ stupid,” he said as he pressed the gun hard into her side, “and ya might live ta see where we’re goin’.”

Poppy reached into her large yellow purse for the device and had the thought to try to click the safety switch off; if she could manage to do that before she handed it to him, maybe he would accidentally trigger it on himself. 

But her hands were shaking too badly to manipulate the button and defeated, she wrapped her hand around the tazor and pressed it handle first into his outstretched palm. 

“Good girl,” he said and nudged at her with the barrel of the handgun. “Now yer phone.”

She pretended to rustle through her bag and managed to tuck her phone into one of her wool mittens at the bottom. She wasn’t ready to give up on the idea of escape just yet and maybe he wouldn’t see her cell if he decided to search her purse himself.

“Kane, I don’t have my phone,” she said quickly. “I must have left it upstairs on my desk.”

He narrowed his eyes at her. “Bullshit."

“Here,” she said, opening the purse’s mouth wide so he could peer in. “Look for yourself.”

He kept his gun pointed at her as he rifled through the purse with the other. Poppy held her breath and then released it slowly when he finally withdrew it, satisfied she was telling the truth. 

“Fine.” He pressed the gun into the middle of her forehead. “Now get in. And don’t even think about tryin’ to run or scream.”

As she lowered herself into the passenger seat, she was overcome with nausea at the thought that she had ever gotten into Kane’s car willingly. She should have listened to Tora from the beginning. If she had, maybe it wouldn’t have come to this and she wouldn’t be the reason that Tora was going to be alone in that cold, dark world once again. 

It was all her fault and if she got out of this alive, she would spend the rest of her life making it up to him. 

Kane shut her inside and as he rounded the back of the car, she slipped her hand into her purse and grasped her phone in her fist. If she could manage to somehow type 911 into the keypad…

He slid into the driver’s seat and slammed the door shut, making her jump. He turned to her and smiled as he revved the car to life. “Buckle up, sweetheart. Last thing I’m gonna do is get pulled over by the cops because yer bein’ unsafe.”

If she wasn’t currently fearing for her life and analyzing all the ways she could escape, she would have laughed at the irony of his words. 

\---

Fifteen minutes into weaving in and out of rush hour traffic, Poppy turned to Kane. “Why are you doing this?” she asked. 

“Hmmpf. Ya tellin’ me Lover Boy hasn’t filled you in?”

“No, he has. I know you’re both in the mafia and I know you haven’t gotten along since you were kids. And,” she said carefully, “I know you’re the reason Goliath is dead.”

“Yeah, s’all true,” he said. “Sounds like ya know everythin’ you need to, so why bother askin’ _me_ why?”

“Because I want to hear it from you. There are two sides to every story and I want to know… why Tora? Why me? Why… _Tyson?”_ she asked around the lump in her throat. 

He snorted. “Tyson was a fuckin’ bonus. Figures the marshmallow yer datin’ would handpick someone just as soft to look after ya. That fuck spent more time gettin’ his hands dirty in his greenhouse than he ever did fer Vincent. Tyson was too _nice_ and a waste of the clan’s time.”

“Being kind doesn’t make you weak,” she said quietly. 

Kane snorted again. “Yeah, seems to be workin’ out real well for ya, don’t it?”

“You didn’t answer my whole question,” she said pointedly. 

“Tora’s also a waste of the clan’s time and money, he just has Vincent’s attention,” he spat. “Vincent handpicked Tora when he was five years old; told everyone he _saw_ somethin’ in him, somethin’ feral.”

Kane shook his head. “Old man’s blind. Tora might look like a damn tiger, but he’s a fuckin’ pussy. Ya know, a few weeks ago, Vincent gave him a list of four people ta snipe ‘n kill and he just maimed ‘em instead? Big Bro never misses a mark, everyone knows that. Didn’t kill ‘em on purpose, didn’t follow Vincent’s orders on purpose and the dumbass old man forgave him _just like that._ If it was me, youda been readin’ those men’s obits in the paper the next day.”

Poppy shivered as Kane ranted to her. It was unnerving that Vincent could assign such a heinous task to her kind, caring boyfriend and that Kane would have been so eager to see the same task through. In fact, he sounded _jealous_ that he hadn’t been chosen for the job instead. 

“What about me?” she asked. “Why me?” She needed to keep him talking; maybe he’d stay distracted long enough that she could dial those three numbers that might save her life. 

She thought she saw his face soften a bit. “Nothin’ personal, sweetheart,” he said finally. “Ya just fucked the wrong guy. Didn’t give two shits about you either way until Big Bro went all Chippendale on ya in Quincey’s kitchen that night. Normally the bastard is beatin’ women off him with a damn stick; he doesn’t go out of his way to get a girl’s attention. Never has to.”

“So I’m sitting here right now because I make Tora _happy?”_

“Nah, yer sittin’ here right now ‘cuz ya make him _soft._ And if somethin’ happens to ya, maybe the Tiger of Ares Street finally snaps and shows everyone how much of a liability he really is. Thought it would happen when Goliath was offed, but apparently the fuck decided ta rehabilitate himself in prison or some shit. Had too much time ta think about it.”

Ice ran through Poppy’s blood. “So you’re going to kill me,” she whimpered, “and hope that it’s enough to bring Tora down?”

He glanced at her before focusing on the road once more. “Like I said, s’nothin’ personal.”

“Why don’t you just kill both of us?” she cried out. “Why go through all of this trouble? Why torture Tora? Why cut up the _only_ picture I have of my dead father?”

“’Cuz anythin’ that hurts you hurts Tora more,” he said matter of factly. “And if he hurts _enough,_ he’ll lose it and Vincent will get rid of him himself.”

He sighed. “S’much as I’d like ta be the one to do it, it’ll mean more if it comes from Big Boss Balthuman. And he’ll thank me for pointin’ out the weak link in the clan’s chain. I’ll become a high rankin’ member and won’t have to work as hard or kiss Quincey’s ass anymore.”

“You’re insane,” she whispered, absolutely horrified that she had once found _anything_ attractive about this man at all. Her fingers danced over her phone keypad as she tried desperately to locate the 9 button.

“Nah, just stronger than that pillow yer fuckin’.”

Suddenly, her phone rang out from the depths of her bag and she froze. 

_Fudge. Fudge. FUDGE. What had she hit?_

Kane whipped his head around to look at her, a snarl stretched across his face. “Back at the office, huh? And here I thought ya were smarter than ta lie to me.”

The next thing Poppy knew, Kane’s fist was connecting with her left cheekbone. White hot stars exploded across her vision and she screamed out in pain. 

“Give me your bag, ya _stupid fuckin’ bitch,” _he hissed.__

Cradling the left side of her face with one hand, she passed her purse over to him with the other. He kept one hand on the steering wheel as he tore through her bag. Finally, he pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. He laughed. “Tiger, huh?” 

She sucked in a breath. 

_Tora._

He must be worried out of his mind. Gyu was on guard duty and must have reached out to Tora when she didn’t make it back home at the usual time. 

_Gyu._

Gyu had given Tora a tracking device for Kane’s car. Their location could be traced. Maybe she would live long enough to see her boyfriend one last time. 

Kane tossed the phone down in the cup holder on his door. The phone went silent and then her ringtone erupted from it once again. Silent. Then one more time. Silence and then a couple of dings that she recognized as text message alerts. 

“Seems like he’s concerned about ya,” he smirked and unrolled the driver side window. “How fuckin’ annoying,” he said and hurled her phone out the window. 

\--- 

For the remainder of the ride, Poppy sat in silence, gazing out the window, dabbing at her injured, watery eye with her sleeve and contemplating what her future might have looked like. 

She could see him out of the clan, free to live his life with her as they wished. They’d never discussed it, but she knew she wanted to marry Tora. She wasn’t sure how he felt about it; if he was against the idea, she believed she could settle on being his partner for life. No matter what it took to keep him, she'd do it. 

But because these were her final hours, she allowed herself to envision her ideal future with him, strawberry-tinted and full of hope. She saw a ring and Tora on one knee in the sand, as they waded through ankle deep water on the beach at sunset. 

She saw a small house, maybe a porch swing and a dog. She’d always been fond of pitbulls; they had a vicious reputation, but she never believed in her heart that it was innate. It was how they’d been raised. The ones she had met in her short life were kind, gentle souls and she wanted to rescue one. 

Poppy could see a baby next and briefly wondered if their son or daughter would have looked like her or Tora. At the very least, she hoped they had his eyes. 

Tora, teaching their kids about cars and his newfound interest in plants. Poppy, reading books to them every night before they fell asleep. Lying in bed with her husband at the end of each day as they reflected on the life they’d built together. 

Most importantly, she could see Tora _happy._

She wanted to tell him not to let Kane win; just focus on getting out of the clan and leaving everything behind. It was okay to be happy, to find someone else and live his life after she was gone. It was what she wanted more than anything. 

Briefly she wondered if there was truly a heaven and what it might look like. Was it really this pristine, perfect place in the clouds where she would be reunited with her loved ones? She could see her father, healthy and happy, smiling and reaching out for her. 

She would be reunited with her granny one day, when it was her time. Danae, Mirabelle. Tora. He’d probably tell her that they wouldn’t let him step one foot past the gates, but she knew they would. He was a good man, the best she’d ever known. 

As the car moved along, Poppy began to recognize the rundown buildings and trash covered streets. This was the route she had taken with Tora and Gyu to Goliath’s old hide out. They were on Ares Street. 

Poppy shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “What are we doing here?” she asked. 

“Think Tiger is the only one who knows where Goliath’s hide out is?” Kane said. “Or that yer the only ones with techy friends? I had a trackin’ device installed on Quincey’s car after I saw Tora drivin’ it around when he got outta prison. He drove over here a lot.” He smirked. “Drove over to yer apartment a lot, too.” 

She tried not to let him see her shiver at his words. How much had he heard, how much had he seen? 

_Did he know about the flash drive?_

“Why here?” she whimpered. 

“Why _not_ here?” he replied. “Finding his girlfriend’s body in his dead brother’s tomb will send him right over the fuckin’ edge. No tellin’ what he’ll do after that.” 

Poppy sobbed. Not for herself, but for Tora. He’d been traumatized enough for a lifetime; he couldn’t handle any more hurt. This would kill him. 

“Kane, please, I know you need to kill me,” she sputtered. “But not here. I’ll go anywhere you want, just _please. Not here.”_

He looked at her and then his face broke into a smile that revealed too much tooth. “Nah. Ya just confirmed it; I picked the _perfect_ place.” 

\--- 

Kane pulled smoothly into the alleyway behind Goliath’s apartment. The last time she’d sat in a car in this alley, she was preparing to search for the evidence that would set Tora free. And now that she was here again, she saw nothing but a prison, her own coffin. 

Kane rounded the front of the car and roughly dragged her out by her arm. She felt the hard metal of the gun barrel lodged into the back of her head. “I don’t want ya to get any bright ideas, so I’m followin’ you,” he told her and nudged her forward. “I know you know the way.” 

She slowly led him down the dirty hallways and up a couple flights of stairs before finally stopping in front of Goliath’s door. Predictably, it was locked. 

Kane released her arm and stared into her eyes. “Don’t run; you know I’ll only catch ya,” he hissed and knocked his foot back to kick the door in. 

It didn’t take much; the door was old and worn down and gave in on the first kick. It swung open and he shoved Poppy inside ahead of him. When they stepped across the threshold, Kane took a moment to survey the scene around him. The dresser by the door, emptied of its drawers, the couch frame and the cushions Poppy had cut into. The bookshelf on its side, its paper contents spilling out of it like entrails. 

Kane began to laugh as he closed the door behind him and Poppy sunk down on what remained of the green sofa. “Well, _someone_ was on a mission,” he chuckled and began digging around in his coat pockets. “Were ya lookin’ fer this?” he asked and held up a plain composition notebook. 

Poppy’s eyes widened and tears spilled down her cheeks. 

“Turns out Goliath wasn’t as clever as he wanted everyone ta believe he was,” he said, rolling the notebook into a cylinder and smacking the palm of his hand with it. “Found this locked in his desk, the first place I thought ta look. How fuckin’ dumb." He smiled smugly. “Gettin’ rid of him was community service to the clan.” He tucked the notebook back into his coat pocket. 

“What are you going to do with it?” she asked quietly. 

“Gonna turn it into Vincent,” he said calmly. “Tell him I found it in Big Bro Tora’s car and that I heard him tellin’ Ronzo he was gonna turn it into the police. Put his back to the Balthumans. ‘Tween that and findin’ you dead, it should be enough to fuckin’ end him.” 

He stated it so nonchalantly, so plainly. The way he talked, you would think Poppy asked him to read a newspaper article out loud. He was just like Vincent in the video, calmly telling Tora to end a man’s life so they could go home. She realized then that she would never get used to hearing any of them talk this way. Ever. 

Kane was right; Tora never deserved to be handpicked by Vincent or given his attention. He deserved so much _more_ than the life he’d been forced into. 

Kane, however, deserved everything he would inevitably get. 

For the first time since Kane had abducted her, anger erupted in Poppy. If she was going to die, she would go down the way her dad taught her to be. 

She wasn’t going to hold back. 

“What makes you think you’re worthy of Tora’s spot beside Vincent?” she asked him after a minute or two of silence. 

His head snapped up to look at her. “’Cuz I’m willin’ to do what it takes ta get the job done. _No matter what.”_

“Because you need to prove yourself,” Poppy stated. “Did you ever stop and think that he took pity on you? That he _gave_ you the Balthuman brand because you needed it so badly? You needed to be accepted _somewhere?_ You know they had to hold Tora down when they gave him his. He wasn’t going to let them do it without a fight.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” 

“Vincent was right when he said he saw something feral in Tora,” she continued. “He saw spirit and promise in him. He saw an opportunity to break that spirit and make him his. He didn’t succeed, obviously, or you and I wouldn’t be here right now. Vincent likes a challenge and you were just too _easy,”_ she sneered. 

Kane crossed the room in two fevered steps and backhanded her across the face, the same cheek he’d assaulted earlier. She felt a trickle of warm blood spill out of her mouth. 

“One more fuckin’ word and I shoot ya right now,” he snarled, aiming the gun at her head. 

Suddenly, there was a series of loud, firm knocks on the apartment door. Poppy leapt up and she saw Kane’s eyes widen as he stepped behind her, wrapping one hand around her neck, the other pressing the barrel of the gun into her temple. 

The knocks died and were replaced with the one voice she hoped she’d live long enough to hear again. 

“Kane,” he bellowed, “I’m gonna open this door and when I do, _yer fuckin’ dead.”_


	22. Brother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omgomgomg I have been anxious all day to write this and get it out! I've been sitting on the ending for WEEKS now and I truly hope I did the story justice. I feel like I did, anyway! 
> 
> Hopefully you guys enjoy this update. Hard to believe there's only one more after this :( But then... TORA!
> 
> Thank you all for reading!  
> <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“The road is long  
With many a winding turn  
That leads us to who knows where  
Who knows where  
But I'm strong  
Strong enough to carry him  
He ain't heavy, he's my brother”  
-The Hollies, “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother”

\---

“Kane,” he bellowed, “I’m gonna open this door and when I do, _yer fuckin’ dead.”_

Poppy had never, ever been so relieved or terrified to hear Tora’s voice. Relieved that he was here and she would see him one last time before she died and terrified because now his life was also in danger. 

“Tora! He has a gun!” she cried out and Kane clapped his hand over her lips. 

The door swung into the room and Kane aimed his handgun at the open mouth. At first, the entryway appeared empty, but then Poppy caught sight of the side of Tora’s face peering around the door frame and the barrel of his Glock pointing into the room. 

“Poppy? You okay, sweetheart? Did he hurt ya?” he called out. 

Poppy managed to swivel her head out from under Kane’s grasp to answer him. “He hit me in the face a couple of times, but I’m okay.”

A sound left Tora then, something from deep within, guttural, wild, _feral._ He slid sideways into the room, aiming his Glock at Kane. Poppy felt Kane duck down behind her and then the familiar feeling of hard metal pressing into her skin. 

“I told ya, Kane,” Tora hissed as he moved to the center of the room, leaving the door wide open behind him, “if ya laid yer hands on my girlfriend one more time, it was the last thing ya’d live to do. Get out from behind her, ya fuckin’ _coward.”_

“I’m not stupid,” Kane spit back. “I know how deadly ya are with that thing. Put it the _fuck_ down and I won’t blow her brains out right now.”

The ominous sound of Kane cocking his gun filled the room and for a moment, Tora appeared distraught, as though there was a battle waging inside of him. Poppy began to sob as he lowered his gun. 

“Tora, _he killed Tyson._ He slit his throat in Quincey’s car. Don’t put your gun down. He’ll kill you too. _Don’t do it,”_ she begged. 

_”Put the fuckin’ gun down or she’s dead,”_ Kane roared. 

Tora met her gaze then. “S’okay, Bobby,” he said and set the gun down beside the open doorway. 

Poppy closed her eyes as her body shook with tears and sobs. Kane had said he wanted Vincent to get rid of Tora himself, that it would mean more coming from the big boss, but what if he was bluffing? Or what if Tora made one wrong move and Kane saw fit to end his life right then and there?

“All right, Kane, gun’s down.”

Kane remained hovering behind her, digging the gun into her lower back and one of his fists was clenched around her wrist.

”Kane, fuckin’ _look at me.”_

He rose up behind her and she felt his hot, erratic breath on her neck. Tora had his hands in the air, the universal sign of defeat. “Take the gun off her. Point it over here.”

“Where’s yer Glock?” Kane asked. 

“On the floor behind me,” Tora pointed. 

Kane peered over her shoulder. “Ya got any more on you?” he asked.

“How long have ya known me, Kane?” Tora asked him. “Ya know I don’t. If a job’s too big for me and my Glock, then I don’t come alone. And I don’t see anyone else here.” He gestured at the empty room around them.

“Didn’t think I was much of a threat, huh? Think yer gonna find ya’ve vastly underestimated me,” Kane replied sourly. 

“Nah, don’t think so.” Tora smirked at him.

Poppy could feel Kane’s body vibrating against her. He aimed his gun at Tora. “Get away from the door,” he said through clenched teeth. 

“Sure. Where do ya want me?”

“Come forward, in the middle of the room.”

Tora took two steps and planted his feet where Kane signaled. “Kane, why the fuck you doin’ this? You know it ends badly for ya.”

“Nah, don’t think so, bro. I got somethin’ ya want and soon as I hand it over to Vincent, yer done.”

“Yer not takin’ Poppylan anywhere,” Tora growled. 

“No, not the bitch. I’ve got ya brother’s notebook.”

Tora’s eyes widened and he looked to Poppy for confirmation. 

She nodded. “He has it,” she whimpered. “I saw it.”

Tora’s expression changed then, cool and collected. “The fuck ya think Vincent is gonna want with my kid brother’s random scribblin’s?” he asked. 

“Naw, these ain’t random,” Kane laughed. “I’m sure ya’ve heard of Modi Suzuki, the hotshot politician?”

Tora stared at him, unflinching. 

“His name’s in it, along with the names of eight other city officials who’ve had dealings with the clan. There’s a list of evidence that ties them directly to the Balthumans. And won’t Vincent love ta hear that his prized tiger had it sittin’ in his car, dead set on showin’ it to the police?”

Tora snorted. “Makes ya think Vincent will even believe ya? He thinks yer a _fool,_ Kane. Told me so himself.”

Kane tensed against her back.

“He fuckin’ won’t after this,” he snarled. “Not when I have Martin ta back me up. And ya know he will. Thinks yer as soft and disrespectful as I do. And we’re gonna love watchin’ Vincent rip you apart.”

Tora seemed to contemplate this for a moment, then crossed his arms across his chest. “Well, Kane, sounds like ya got everythin’ figured out. It’s a good plan. I’m impressed. Yer not as fuckin’ stupid as ya look.”

Kane growled and pressed the barrel of the gun against Poppy’s head. 

”Kane, what’d I say? C’mon, point the gun over here at me. She’s not the one who’s a threat to ya right now.”

He forced the gun into her temple as hard as he could and a whimper escaped Poppy’s mouth. 

_”Kane, look at me._ S’pose I’m the stupid one here, ‘cuz I dunno where Poppy falls into any of this. Whaddya got against her, huh?”

Kane relieved Poppy’s temple of the gun and then jammed it into the apple of her cheek. “Yer fuckin’ her, ain’t ya?”

Tora’s jaw clenched as he slowly nodded. “I know the concept is foreign to ya, but I love her. Wouldn’t be standin’ here if I didn’t.”

Kane’s body racked with laughter. “Then how can ya not see it? She’s a _guarantee._ Yer a damn sucker for her. The second she’s dead, the legendary Tiger of Ares Street becomes a rabid animal. ‘Tween that and the notebook, you’ll be a threat to Vincent and the clan and he’ll have no choice but ta put you down.”

“Makes ya think I’m gonna let that happen?” Tora asked quietly as he slowly took a couple steps toward them.

“Fuckin’ stay where you are, asshole,” Kane barked at him. He released his hold on Poppy and moved away from her in the opposite direction of Tora, pointing his gun at him. “Ya ain’t gotta choice; this is happenin’.”

Tora continued to tread lightly towards Poppy. “I know ya ain’t gonna kill me,” he told Kane. “Fer yer little plan ta work, ya need me alive. Ya need ta turn me into Vincent in order to gain his respect.”

Kane sidestepped toward the middle of the room, where Tora had been standing. “Keep fuckin’ movin’ and I shoot her.”

“Ya keep sayin’ that,” Tora said. “But I don’t think you’ll kill her. Ya know that as soon as ya do, I won’t let you outta this room alive. You weren’t expectin’ me ta show up ‘n throw a wrench in yer plans, were ya?”

Kane aimed the gun at Poppy with both hands and tears poured freely down her face.

_This is it._

“I love you, Tora,” she murmured. 

_”Shut the fuck up,”_ Kane seethed to her and then turned to Tora. “You bein’ here doesn’t change a goddamn thing.”

Suddenly there was a shadow across her vision and she was met with the six foot three frame of her boyfriend, towering over her. 

“If ya shoot her, ya gotta do it through me,” Tora said, and slid one arm behind his back to hold her to him. Poppy allowed herself a deep sigh of relief as she shoved herself into him; he was warm, alive, breathing. Then the sound of Kane’s voice shattered her momentary bliss. 

“Move yer ass, Tora,” he ground out as he cocked his gun. 

“Y’know this only ends one way, Kane,” Tora told him calmly, clutching tightly to Poppy. 

_”Get the fuck outta the way!”_ Kane screamed and she wound her fists into Tora’s shirt.

Tora stood his ground and she felt him take a deep breath. 

It was quiet for a moment and then Kane laughed. “Okay, fuck this. New plan. I kill both of ya and tell Quincey that I saw ya bring her here against her will. I came after ya to try ‘n stop ya, but you killed his poor lil’ editor before I even got inside. Ya were chasin’ her tail and she rejected yer advances for the last time. The tiger snapped and I had to put him down.”

“And,” Kane continued, “I’ll give Quincey the notebook, tell him I found it on ya. He and Vincent will be _thankin’_ me for gettin’ rid of ya.”

“Makes you think Quincey will believe you? He’s my brother.”

“Pfft, all the years I’ve spent kissin’ his ass have paid off, that fuckin’ dandy will eat whatever shit I feed him. And he ain’t yer brother,” Kane sneered. “In fact, ya ain’t a brother anymore when the only one ya ever had is _dead.”_

There was an eerie silence, a stillness and Poppy froze. Tora was so _big_ and she couldn’t see anything from behind him.

Then, the sound of a familiar voice. 

“Kane.”

Before she could react, Tora dropped them both to the floor, his arms encircling and cushioning her as they fell. The sound of a gunshot shattered across the room and Poppy screamed. 

\---

There was a heavy _thud_ somewhere on the floor beside them and Poppy wailed, terrified to turn her head. Tora’s weight was on top of her and his hands were on both sides of her face, angling her head up to look at him. 

“Sweetheart, hey, s’okay,” he murmured and kissed her forehead. “I’m right here and it’s over. Just breathe, okay? _Breathe.”_

She blinked up at him and slowly his molten eyes came into focus, followed by his flushed cheeks, his full lips that were parted in concern. She tilted her head up and kissed him, then wrapped her arms around him as far as they would go. 

The familiar, now warbly voice spoke out from the right side of the room. “Honey? Is she okay?”

Tora looked back down at her and his gaze roamed over her injured eye and the blood on her chin. “He hit her a couple times,” he bit out, “but she’ll be okay. She’s a feisty one.” He smiled softly at her and brushed her hair out of her eyes.

He pushed himself off her and helped her stand on her feet. When she turned, she was met with the pale, tear stained face of Quincey. His hands were at his sides, one curled around the handle of Tora’s Glock. 

Behind him lay the lifeless body of Kane, a red flower of blood blooming across his shirt. 

Poppy wiped the tears from her eyes. “Q-Quincey?” she asked in a daze. “What are you doing here?”

Quincey dropped the gun as he stepped forward and reached out his hand to cup her face. He ran his thumb gently over her split lip and swallowed hard. “Tora sent me a text before he came here… oh, honey, I’m sorry. _I’m so sorry,”_ he whimpered and pulled her into his arms. “We’ll go back to my apartment and I’ll have the doctor come look at you, okay?”

She hugged him back and gazed over his shoulder at Tora. “You texted him?” she breathed. 

Tora nodded. “Sent him the code, somethin’ we’ve been doin’ since we were kids. If one of us is in trouble, we send the code to the other person. That way if anyone’s lookin’ at their phone, they don’t know what it means. If ya get the code, ya have to drop whatever it is yer doin’ and go to ‘em. No matter what.”

“I was having dinner with Johnathan in the city,” Quincey told her as he hugged her closer. “I got the text from Tora with the code and this address; he told me the door would be open. I didn’t think I’d be coming here to- to…” He stumbled forward in her arms and she struggled to hold his weight. “Oof, sorry, honey. I’m still a little queasy. I don’t take to violence very well. I’ve never _killed_ anyo-“

“Thank you for coming, Quincey,” she cut him off and squeezed him tight.

“Of _course,”_ he replied as he righted his stance. “He’s my brother.”

He planted a kiss on her forehead and finally turned away from her. His green eyes landed on Tora. “Honey, I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you. I didn’t _see_ it. You two have been at each other’s throats since we were kids and I… I thought-“ Quincey trailed off brokenly and then he was wrapping Tora up in his arms and sobbing. 

A look of discomfort settled across Tora’s face and Poppy shrugged at him, as if to say _Let him have this._

Tora sighed. “S’fine, Quince,” he said and awkwardly patted the blonde man on his back. “Ya were here fer me when it really mattered.”

“B-but I should have been there for you this whole _tiiiiime,”_ Quincey whined.

“Well, yeah, ya should’ve,” Tora replied and Poppy squinted at him. He sighed again.

“What can I ever do to make it up to you?” 

“Ahhh, I’m sure I’ll think of somethin’.”

“I-I’m just glad I came up with the code all those years ago,” Quincey blubbered. “I’m a genius really. And don’t you try to take credit for it to look good in front of Poppy,” he told Tora sternly.

“Pfft. Trust me, I wouldn’t. That was all you, princess.” 

Tora finally managed to wriggle out from his brother’s grip and then he made a beeline for Poppy. He folded her into a hug. “I’m sorry, Poppylan,” he said into her ear. “I love you and I’m so _sorry._ Thought I was gonna lose ya today. When Ronzo called me and told me ya didn’t make it home…”

“I love you, too.” she murmured back to him. “And I don’t ever want to hear you apologize for Kane again. He made his choices and he paid for them.” 

She stole another glance down at Kane; this was only the second time she’d been confronted with a dead body, the first time she’d ever seen one resulting from violence. It almost disturbed her how easy it was to look at him. _Almost._ It was hard to feel much of anything for someone who had tortured you for weeks, who had tortured the man you loved for years. 

At this thought, Poppy stooped down beside Kane’s body and tugged one side of his coat back from his chest. 

“Poppy…” Tora said carefully.

She ignored him and felt around inside his chest pocket. Finally, her palm was met with paper and she pulled the notebook from him. She flipped through it; it was splattered with his blood, but still legible. She held it out to Tora.

Tora sucked in a breath as he plucked it from her hand. He thumbed through the first couple pages and Poppy stood up to peer at it with him. 

It was all there; the nine names of the politicians and then different locations scribbled across from them. The first one read _Modi Suzuki, Best Waffles._ This had to be the list Kane was referring to. 

“What do you think these locations mean?” Poppy pointed. 

“Dunno, sweetheart. Maybe that’s where we find the videos?” Tora guessed.

“Sounds like a good place to start.”

Quincey spoke out from the other side of the room. “Um, sorry to interrupt, but what are we going to do about _that?”_ He pointed down at Kane and a nauseated look passed over his face.

“I’ll call Winston, get a couple of his guys over here for clean up,” Tora said. 

“Oh, right. Clan protocol,” Quincey replied as he stepped gingerly over the body. He clapped one hand on his big brother’s shoulder. “Then what? Anything I can do?”

“Yeah, I thought of how ya can make it up to me,” Tora told him. 

Quincey blinked at him. “Oh. So soon. Well, what is it? Name it. Anything. _Anything_ you want.”

Tora gazed down at Poppy. “I want outta the clan,” he said, his eyes turning fierce as they trained on Quincey. _“And yer gonna help me.”_


	23. Gold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I can't believe this is it. The last chapter :( 
> 
> Sorry for the gap in updates! We are finally moved into our new house and now begins the fun of unpacking everything and searching endlessly for utensils and underwear haha!
> 
> Anyhoo... what a freaking wild ride this was. I was inspired to write this story out of nowhere and didn't have the slightest clue where it was heading. A chance meeting at a house party (based on my first encounter with my ex) and that has all led to THIS. Ugh. 
> 
> Also, apologies in advance if anything I've written regarding the legal/court proceedings is inaccurate. I fudged it as best as I could with the information I researched and in the words of Poppy, "please forgive my inadequacies" ;) 
> 
> Thank you guys so so much for reading and for your continued support and comments. I am so lucky to have discovered the existence of MPL at all and then to be accepted as part of this community is just the sweetest icing on the cake. 
> 
> I'll be posting one more update to this story so you can cast your votes in the comments for the Stages scenes you'd like to see from our boy Tora's point of view, so put your thinking caps on! ;) 
> 
> Love you all and see you soon <3
> 
> pb&c
> 
> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

“We wandered lost beneath the lights  
I felt small under the galaxies  
It was one of those familiar nights  
I felt big with you next to me  
Oh my, oh my, I think that I am falling

'Cause you are gold  
You are all I see  
You are aurum scarce and meant for kings  
You are gold”  
-The National Parks, “You Are Gold”

\---

“Christ, woman, ya ‘bout ready yet?” The semi-teasing, but mostly serious voice of Poppy’s boyfriend wafted through the bathroom door. “Ya been in there for an hour!”

She giggled as she swept her hair up into a messy bun. “Okay, one,” she said, holding up one finger even though he couldn’t see it, “I will forgive you for your impatience because this is your first time and I know how excited you are.” 

“And two,” she ticked off a second finger, “I’ll forgive you for calling me _woman_ because you have no idea what it means to be one. If we’re going to the beach, I have to shave my legs and that takes awhile, Mr. Hairless Cat.”

She could hear his laugh, the sound of a little car trying very hard to start its engine, right on the other side of the door. “Pff… pff pff. All right, Bobby. Take your time. But hurry.”

She laughed at him again and tugged on her ruffly one-piece swimsuit. “Relax, mister. I’m almost done.”

His footsteps retreated away from the door and she leaned back against the countertop to reflect for a moment on how far they had come, how they had gotten _here._

\---

After Kane was killed and Tora enlisted Quincey’s help in getting out of the clan, things began to move slowly forward. Though eager to help in any way he could, Quincey had a hard time believing Tora wanted to put his back to the Balthumans. 

Quincey didn’t get along with his father; he primarily wanted to be an author and remain in the dark about most clan affairs. While Vincent initially shielded his son from matters of his clan, he eventually wanted him to take over his role as leader and Quincey knew it.

But Quincey remained well practiced in indifference to the mafia and this caused him to be short-sighted on what Vincent had put Tora through, what he had _forced_ him to do. 

“Whatever’s happened, it couldn’t have been _that_ bad, right?” Quincey asked at his penthouse later that evening. Doctor Mak had come to treat Poppy’s injuries and left shortly after administering painkillers to her. 

“I mean,” Quincey continued, his lip trembling, “not so bad that you’d want to leave _me?”_

“Ain’t you, Quince,” Tora replied. “S’all of it. Ya dad, the shit I’ve done, the blood on my hands, everythin’. It’s not a life. And not one I want Poppy involved in. _I need out.”_

Quincey tried to be understanding but continued to tread lightly around the topic and sway Tora’s mind until two nights later, when they showed him the videos on Goliath’s flash drive. 

When the scene of Young Tora beating a bound man to death flickered across Gyu’s laptop screen, Quincey gasped and sobbed and desperately clung to Tora. “I’m so sorry, I’m _so sorry,”_ he whimpered. “I had no idea. I was out playing fucking lacrosse and reading smut while you were… you were-“

“Not ya fault, princess,” Tora said. “S’how ya old man wanted it. And it was prolly better this way. Don’t think we woulda grown up together the same if youda known.”

“Y-you know I’m not him, right?” Quincey sputtered. “If I took over the clan, I’d never, _ever_ make you do anything like that.”

“Already told ya, I don’t want a life in the clan. Not for me, Poppylan you or Ronzo. We take yer dad down, Quince,” Tora said so lowly that Poppy had to strain to hear him, “and we’re all _free.”_

With the one hand that wasn’t clapped around his brother’s shoulder, Tora reached for Poppy and squeezed her fingers, a hopeful half-moon smile beaming over his face. She returned his smile and grasped his fingers tightly.

Quincey watched this silent exchange between the two of them and blubbered again. “Well, if you two aren’t writing my next romance novel for me,” he choked out and wiped away the tears on his cheeks. “I’m going to write about you. I’ll change your names of course, but I have _so_ many ideas and you guys are so _sexy._ I’ll even give you a percentage of the royalties!”

Poppy blushed and giggled at the playful look of annoyance on Tora’s face. “Christ. Whatever, princess. Just don’t ‘spect to get any personal... _details_ outta us.”

Quincey clapped his hands together and squealed. “Oh, yay! Thank you, honey. And not to worry about the smutty details; I have plenty of experience in that area, so I won’t need your help there. In fact-”

 _“Quinceton,”_ Tora sighed and rolled his eyes at the exuberant blonde man next to him. “I know ya excited, but what about the clan? You gonna help us or not?”

Quincey went silent and looked thoughtful for a moment. “I’m going to help you get out,” he finally said. “Whatever it takes.”

\---

Before they began with legal proceedings, Lane pushed Poppy and Tora to track down the nine pieces of evidence that would expose the corrupt circle of Narin politicians. “Once I officially have the flash drive in my hand, I can’t pretend I haven’t seen it,” she’d told them at their last meeting.

“I can’t sit on evidence like this; I would have to start building the case right away. If Vincent is arrested and you’re traced as the cause, you become targets to clan members who are loyal to him. I can’t have that for you or Gyu, so keep your heads down until we have every single one of our eggs in a basket. Then we’ll take them all down at once.”

The search went on for two months.

In that time, Tora still served as Quincey’s bodyguard and worked closely under Vincent, performing whatever heinous tasks he charged him with. Tora told Poppy that Vincent also had him attempting to track down Kane; he was afraid he’d gone AWOL and this risked exposure to the clan’s dealings. “Told me if I found the fool,” Tora said as he recounted Vincent’s words to Poppy, “I was s’posed ta kill him on sight.”

Knowing that the threat of Kane was eliminated, Tora spent this free time venturing out to the locations scribbled down in the notebook. Some were restaurants Goliath frequented, a few small casinos and one was clan-owned Club Miracle, right under Vincent Balthuman’s nose. 

Poppy wanted to accompany him when he visited these places, but it was a firm _no_ from Tora. “Ya done plenty already,” he’d said as he cupped her face in his hands. “Yer the reason I even thought ta look for the notebook in the first place. I gotta do this next part on my own and I don’t want ya to see some of the things I might hafta do.”

As he held her close, she wasn’t sure if he meant intimidating or charming people to get his way and, in the end, she decided he was right.

She didn’t want to see it, either. 

Two months later, the flash drives and discs had been collected from the nine locations Goliath designated and everything was turned in to Inspector Lane. 

Before she declared the evidence and officially presented the case against Vincent, Lane made sure to enroll the two of them, along with Quincey and Gyu, into a temporary witness protection program. They were relocated to top floor apartments in the city with high security and were accompanied by escorts and bodyguards whenever they left the buildings. 

Once Lane made her case public, things moved in a blur.

Official charges were brought against Vincent Balthuman, along with Martin, a few other high-ranking clan members and the nine politicians. Images of their subsequent arrests were splashed across television screens, magazines and newspapers for weeks and then finally, their trials began.

\---

Poppy emerged from the bathroom in a lacy swimsuit cover up and sandals, lugging a mesh beach tote bag over her shoulder. She dragged it downstairs to the kitchen and was met with the sight of Tora leaning against the counter, his back to her. 

She quietly observed him for a moment; her eyes soaked in the intricate artwork of his tattoos on full display thanks to his dark tank top and his messy black hair tugged into a half bun. There was no slouch in his shoulders, which let her know he was anxious and ready to go. 

“Hey, handsome,” she said softly from behind him. He turned around and smiled at her, his dimples out in full force. Then he glanced at the bag on her shoulder and sighed. 

“Shoulda told me you were bringin’ this big bag,” he said, sliding it off her arm. “Woulda at least carried it down the stairs for ya.” 

“It’s fine, Tora. I’ll let you carry it to the car,” she teased as she moved past him and loaded snacks, water and strawberry juice into a cooler. 

He smirked. “What the hell ya got in here, anyway?”

“Usual beach stuff. Towels, sunblock, shovels, pails, a book…”

He snorted. “How _much_ sunblock?” he asked, lifting the beach bag like a dumbbell. “Feels like I’m holdin’ a sack of bricks.”

“Well, excuse me, but not all of us can get a tan just by sneezing outside on a sunny day, mister,” she griped under her breath. “ _Some_ of us burn.” She gestured down at the fair skin of her legs.

His gleaming amber eyes roamed over her legs and then up her body until she began to rub her arms self-consciously. Finally, he set the bag on the floor and crossed the kitchen to stand in front of her, caging her against the counter with his arms. “I’ll protect ya from the sun, Bobby,” he murmured and planted a hot kiss on her neck. “Just gotta cover ya body with mine.”

Heat flooded the place between her legs and then rose to her face. “Th-thought you were in a hurry to get to the beach?” she choked out. 

“Was. Then you came down here in this lil’ outfit and now I got other things on my mind,” he whispered against the shell of her ear. “The beach’ll still be there in half an hour, right?”

Poppy’s eyes rolled closed. “Mmmhmm.”

His lips firmly claimed hers then, his tongue tracing slow, lazy circles inside her mouth. He hoisted her onto the counter and ground his pelvis deliciously into hers. She groaned as she felt his hard length pressing against her through his board shorts and then she gasped at the feel of something pointy and sharp digging into her thigh. 

“Ow… Hey, Tora-“

“Ignore it,” he said gruffly against her neck.

“What…? No, I mean, there’s something in your shorts that’s poking me-“

“Ignore it,” he said again. 

“But it’s uncomfortable…”

His eyes lifted to hers and he smirked. “Guess I’ll hafta take my shorts off, then, huh?”

\---

The Balthuman trials were tedious and draining for the obvious reasons; it was a case against one of the largest criminal syndicates in the region, tensions were high and paranoia over the well-being of Poppy, Tora, Quincey and Gyu was ever present. 

Lane did her best to reassure them that they were as safe as they could possibly be, though she admitted she wasn’t sure how far the mob would go to send a message. Tora filled in those gaps for her quickly and she ended up assigning a few of her own men to twenty-four-hour surveillance and patrol of their neighborhood. 

Tora was one of the first witnesses to take the stand; he sat tall, proud and stoic in a wood box that was nearly too small to hold him. Right in front of Vincent’s face, he was forced to recount the early days of his abuse. The video of Young Tora beating a man to death was played for the courtroom; Tora averted his gaze to the floor away from the projector screen and through her tears, Poppy saw what she could only describe as _fear_ pass across Vincent’s eyes and mouth. 

This was the look of a man who did not know this video existed. 

The look of a man who knew he was ruined.

Gyu took the stand next and verified how they came across the existence of the original flash drive, the notebook and the evidence against the politicians, conveniently leaving out the part about Kane’s untimely death.

He explained the technical side of dealings he was forced to carry out for the clan, under threat of his own life, his sister’s and her family. There was no audio or visual proof to support his claims, but in the end, that didn’t matter. The overwhelming amount of evidence and the testimonies against the Balthuman organization that Tora, Gyu and even Quincey gave, were enough to ensure Vincent was jailed for life without the possibility of parole. 

Seeing the crumble of the clan begin, it did not take long for Martin and a couple other men “loyal” to Vincent to sell out those beneath them in exchange for less prison time served. Similar plea deals were offered to the nine politicians who went to trial later and they were all too eager to give up the names of corrupt members of the city’s law enforcement and their administrations. 

And so, under Goliath’s umbrella and the treason of weak, _soft_ men, the reign of Clan Balthuman ended. 

\---

When Poppy managed to catch her breath, she tugged her bathing suit up from where it was looped around one ankle. She shimmied into the straps and then wrapped herself in her lacy cover up. From over her shoulder, she could see Tora reach up from the kitchen floor, then felt his fingers squeezing her bottom. 

She giggled and looked down at him. “C’mon, mister,” she said, offering her hands to him. “The beach has been waiting long enough.”

\---

Because they had been placed into the witness protection program and then become involved in the trials, Tora and Poppy’s trip to the beach that summer had been postponed. They’d made plans to travel to Kintsugi Beach; it was two hours outside of the city and was named for the stretches of clean, golden sand dunes. 

Tora was upset when they realized they would have to cancel their plans and Poppy even more so. Couldn’t he have just a _shred_ of happiness amidst all the painful memories these trials were dredging up? Her boyfriend remained bright-eyed and hopeful, though: “We’ll go next year, when this is all done, Bobby,” he told her gently. “We’ll go ‘cuz we’re free, ‘cuz we _can,_ not just ‘cuz we wanna escape.”

In the end, she knew he was right. It was better that way. 

They took advantage of their gained spare time and began to make plans regarding where they wanted to live. Gil was empathetic to Poppy’s situation and told her he didn’t want to lose her, so he would allow her to work remotely if necessary. Erdene wrapped Poppy in a tight hug when she told her and said that no matter the distance, she would _always_ be there for her. 

Eventually, it was time to debate about what type of job Tora could see himself in. Quincey helped him to fudge his resume and was an excellent reference. He spoke to several private security firms that Tora had applied to and when he finally accepted a position after the completion of the trials, it was with a company nine miles outside of Kintsugi Beach. 

They began looking for apartments in that area the next day. 

\---

The drive from their apartment to the beach was quick; not because it was only a few miles away, but because Tora drove like a man possessed, with one foot pressed hard to the gas pedal. 

“Um, Tora,” Poppy said after a minute of driving, “do you think you could slow down a little?”

He glanced at her, then at the speedometer and sighed. “Sorry, sweetheart. Just anxious to get there,” he said, and she felt the car begin to slow beneath them. 

His hand twitched toward the box of cigarettes in his cup holder and she frowned as he fired one up. 

_Why was he stressed? They were finally going to the beach together. What was there to worry about?_

Poppy bit at her bottom lip until he pulled smoothly into the Kintsugi Beach parking lot. It was early evening and soft streaks of rose gold and lavender were beginning to stretch across the sky. Perfect lighting for someone’s first time to the beach. 

They swung themselves out of the car and Tora lifted an eyebrow at her as she discarded her shoes into the backseat. “Sand gets everywhere. It’s like glitter,” she answered his silent question. “The last thing you want is for it to live in your shoes forever. Plus, the beach is just better barefoot.”

Tora nodded and tossed his own shoes into the car. 

Hand in hand, they treaded through the lot. Sea oats and lyme grass dotted the border of the concrete and they waved wildly in the wind, welcoming them, beckoning. The closer they walked to the dunes, the more sand was scattered across the asphalt surface. She heard Tora’s breath hitch in his throat when his bare foot first came into contact with the tiny grains. She smiled widely at him and then tugged his hand a little harder forward.

At last, their feet were buried in the soft, sanded slopes of the beach. Tora said nothing as he stared out at the ocean. The tumbling waves rushed to meet the shore in a wild, hissing rendezvous and Poppy smiled to herself. The sight reminded her of them and how they had met in that penthouse apartment, drawn to each other by forces they couldn’t name. 

She came to stand at his side and looked up at him. The salt air gently tossed his hair around his face and his eyes widened as he soaked in the sight of the ever-changing sea. She finally curled one arm around his waist and he looked down at her with a grin, relieved from his trance. 

He slid one arm around her shoulders and squeezed her against him. “It’s so… _big,”_ he said, his voice soft. “Fer the first time in my life, I feel small.”

She nuzzled her face into his side. “Now you know how I feel when I stand next to you.”

“Pfft. Don’tcha feel that way when you stand next to _anythin’,_ Miss Five Foot Nothing?” 

She pinched at his side and he laughed. “Can it, you big thug.”

He dropped his arm from her shoulders and offered her his hand. “C’mon, let’s take a walk.”

“Um, are you sure you don’t want to get our things from the car first?” she asked.

“Nah,” he said, fidgeting at his board shorts with his free hand. “That can wait.”

They chatted lightly as they strolled in ankle-deep water along the ocean’s edge, the sea foam tickling the bottoms of their bare feet. The beach was mostly empty, save for a man jogging with his Labrador and another couple with three children in tow. Poppy smiled at the young family and waggled her fingers at the toddler in the mother’s arms. 

When she looked back to Tora, he was lowering himself to one knee in the wet sand. 

“Uh, now that we’re here, I don’t really know what ta say,” he said sheepishly and pulled out a simple, gold banded princess cut diamond ring from his pocket. “All I know’s I love you and I never wanna be without ya. Poppylan, will you marry me?”

For a minute, she couldn’t breathe. She had already imagined this very moment while she gazed out the window of Kane’s car as he drove her towards what she thought was her inevitable death. Now that it was happening, she wondered if she really had died and gone to heaven instead. 

The sound of his voice brought her back. “Bobby?”

She gazed down at him, tears catching in her eyes. A wonderful bubble swelled in her chest and her breath hitched around it; joy overrode her senses and made forming words impossible. 

He raked his hand through his hair and gazed downwards. “Shit. I know we haven’t talked about it, but I thought this was somethin’ we both wanted. Will ya at least think it over? I mean, if ya don’t wanna marry me-“

His uncertainty broke the spell she was under. 

_Did he really not know?_

She dropped to her knees in front of him, tears streaming down her face. 

“Hey.” She cupped his cheek in her palm and forced him to look at her. His gold eyes squinted at her against the fading sunlight. 

She smiled and held out her left hand to him.

“Try and stop me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: the Japanese word "kintsugi" is the process of mending broken pottery with lacquer that has been mixed with powdered gold, silver or platinum :)


	24. One Last Stages Update

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---
> 
> All rights to these characters and the original story belong to the goddess known as Lilydusk.
> 
> \---

Hi, everyone! As you may have noticed, I deleted the 24th chapter of Stages where I asked you to place votes for scenes you'd like to see written from Tora's point of view. Have no fear! It's still happening ;) 

I figured this would be the best place to announce it, because so many of you follow the updates for this story already. 

I HAVE HEARD YOU ALL :) 

Due to overwhelming response/requests, I've decided to go ahead and write the ENTIRETY of Stages from Tora's POV. I will continue to upload the new chapters to the story titled "Stages, from Tora's POV." I don't have a set post/update schedule yet, as I wasn't expecting this, but I promise I'll try to keep the story moving as smoothly and quickly as possible! 

You can find the first chapter here: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26408155/chapters/64331971

I'm so so excited to be doing this for you guys; you've done nothing but built me up with your kindness and support and I'm thrilled we get to go on this second ride together.

Thank you so so much for reading and I hope you enjoy the retelling of Stages through Tora's eyes <3

Love you all and see you soon <3

pb&c


End file.
